My boyfriend whom I live with (4.5 years and love dearly) has been addicted to pain pills since I met him. He eventually turned to oxycontin and is snorting it. He has tried rehab, methadone, suboxone, subutext, everything but meetings. he only lasts a few days -had to borrow 100,000 from his middle class parents who are 70 and now have two mortgages on their formerly paid for house. He doesnt understand that I am so depressed and stressed from this and from the stop start thing - that I am staring to have problems (not pills) I can't take it anymore and am considering leaving him. You all need to get a grip and realize that you are not the only ones you are hurting./ Stop going to er and get some real help - a plan - behavior modification- real help. You can not kill yourselves to avoid the withdrawral, depression, anxiety and fear of living without drugs. You are only going to take everyone who loves you down with you. No doubt you aleady have. It is not just about you. THIS is killing my spirit and listening to you all is encouraging but it sounds like you dont have real plans. One day at at time is good. But - You need serious medical help and go to meetings. Get your problem out to your families and be accountable for your actions. and dont drive on this s***. you are going to kill someone. god bless.
wow sounds like this is something perhaps that you would like to say to your boyfriend. sorry for your pain.
fondly
crystal
fondly
crystal
It is something I have said to my boyfriend. I just want all the people still using to really understand that they are not the only ones they are hurting. I think addicts should think about other peoples pain as well. I only hear most people writing about their battles - which is good. But - they should put themselves in their loved ones shoes if you can. Really that stuff is the devil and it takes not only the addict but their families as well.
I am a recovering alcoholic in AA and have several very good friends in severe stages of drug addiction (painkillers). People deep in addiction can not see outside of themselves. To ask an addict to put themselves in their loved one 's shoes is like banging your head against a wall. If they could see how badly they were hurting their friendsa and family were would not spend so much time dealing with DENIAL. God bless you and may your pain subside with time. NA support groups can help you work through the feelings you are having to deal with. Keep Keeping on.
Hi Jen (from another Jen)
I am a recovering prescription drug user like your boyfriend and I have some significant time in with the help of methadone....I know work for Addiction services in our City. I have a big family (12 brothers and sisters) and my boyriend of three years dumped me when he found out about the using and the lying and manipulating. You are right Jen. Addiction is a selfish disease and recovery is selfish too. Believe it or not, I understand where you are coming from but not fully just as you cannot fully understand where we are coming from. I believe you meant to be kind when you said that we have to go to meetings and modify our behaviour but there is no right way to get better and nobody else, as much as they would like too, can do it for you or tell you what to do. I know your boyfriend has hurt you and that sucks but it wasn't HIM hurting you , it was the Addiction hurting you and sometimes we become powerlesss over it. I only hope for the best for the two and if you are a believer in the 12 steps plans, why don't you go to alanon? It may help and at least you won't feel alone. All the best.
Blessings
Jen(Canada)
I am a recovering prescription drug user like your boyfriend and I have some significant time in with the help of methadone....I know work for Addiction services in our City. I have a big family (12 brothers and sisters) and my boyriend of three years dumped me when he found out about the using and the lying and manipulating. You are right Jen. Addiction is a selfish disease and recovery is selfish too. Believe it or not, I understand where you are coming from but not fully just as you cannot fully understand where we are coming from. I believe you meant to be kind when you said that we have to go to meetings and modify our behaviour but there is no right way to get better and nobody else, as much as they would like too, can do it for you or tell you what to do. I know your boyfriend has hurt you and that sucks but it wasn't HIM hurting you , it was the Addiction hurting you and sometimes we become powerlesss over it. I only hope for the best for the two and if you are a believer in the 12 steps plans, why don't you go to alanon? It may help and at least you won't feel alone. All the best.
Blessings
Jen(Canada)
jen,
I am a recovering addict of 4 years and a child of an alcoholic...I do know exactly where you are. Way before I started using drugs, a friend of mine ask me to go to one of her AA meetings with her as a support thing and I was curious and I went. Being an adult and out of my fathers house I felt like this was a good thing... I was not prepared for the bitterness and anger I would experience sitting in that meeting..I thought, like you, it was all about them boo hoo... poor me.. I kept thinking 'What about your family? what about their pain?' So I do understand but then I became an addict a few years later.
I was in an accident, pain pills and the rest is history. I all happened so fast and it was the most powerful thing I have ever had to fight. I have said all that to say this... You are intitaled to your feelings of anger and bitterness. God knows you have probably earned that right, but as the other post wrote addiction is a selfish Disease (not the person) and recovery is selfish too... It has to be. If we are dumped with all the pain of others as well as our own in the first steps of recovery most of us would relapse or worse...(been there too)...
you need to go to an alanon meeting and fast ... bitterness and anger will make you just as sick and selfish as the addict... no amount of guilt, or threats will help him get clean and stay clean until he is ready... Until HE is ready... There is no bench marks, like no money limit then recovery, no limit to how many people you hurt ect...
Recovery is about staying alive... if you can nothelp (it is ok if you cant by the way) by being suppportive or maybe a little tough love (telling him no on money and/or exuses) and by not giving more guilt... then move out of the way...
God bless you for sticking with him... and I will pray for all....
teresa
I am a recovering addict of 4 years and a child of an alcoholic...I do know exactly where you are. Way before I started using drugs, a friend of mine ask me to go to one of her AA meetings with her as a support thing and I was curious and I went. Being an adult and out of my fathers house I felt like this was a good thing... I was not prepared for the bitterness and anger I would experience sitting in that meeting..I thought, like you, it was all about them boo hoo... poor me.. I kept thinking 'What about your family? what about their pain?' So I do understand but then I became an addict a few years later.
I was in an accident, pain pills and the rest is history. I all happened so fast and it was the most powerful thing I have ever had to fight. I have said all that to say this... You are intitaled to your feelings of anger and bitterness. God knows you have probably earned that right, but as the other post wrote addiction is a selfish Disease (not the person) and recovery is selfish too... It has to be. If we are dumped with all the pain of others as well as our own in the first steps of recovery most of us would relapse or worse...(been there too)...
you need to go to an alanon meeting and fast ... bitterness and anger will make you just as sick and selfish as the addict... no amount of guilt, or threats will help him get clean and stay clean until he is ready... Until HE is ready... There is no bench marks, like no money limit then recovery, no limit to how many people you hurt ect...
Recovery is about staying alive... if you can nothelp (it is ok if you cant by the way) by being suppportive or maybe a little tough love (telling him no on money and/or exuses) and by not giving more guilt... then move out of the way...
God bless you for sticking with him... and I will pray for all....
teresa
