Hi,
I'm hoping for someone to talk to that isn't family.
I'm lost and so is my 16yr old son.
a year ago our beautiful boy had huge prospects and was looking forward to starting his ICT course at college, he was a bright and sensible young man that adored me (his mum) and 2 younger sisters and had a bright future ahead of him.
2 months ago my son admitted to taking drugs, namely MKAT or whatever it's called, which took us by total surprise.
He then proceeded to get his things and walked out the day after, he now refuses to talk to me or my husband, he has totally shut us out of his life and wants absolutely nothing to do with us.
We have since found out that our son is also dealing drugs locally and is in debt with some big time dealers.
He has been in a few fights that we know of but he thinks he's invincible.
We as a family have been totally shattered by these events and there's just no getting through to him, he has changed his number and we cannot contact him at all.
I feel so alone, my husband wants to sweep things under the carpet and pretend nothing is happening, but i can't...i struggle to eat or sleep not knowing where my boy is and what trouble he's in.
Where do i go from here?...i miss my son, he's 16, still my baby, i feel like i'm literally grieving for him...i feel such a failure and just don't know where to turn.
I can hear your pain in your words, so very sorry you are going through this.
It makes perfect sense that you would be grieving your son, the young man you knew is gone from your sight right now. It's a horrid loss, you are entitled to grieve. My heart goes out to you.
You didn't fail. Addiction doesn't discriminate, addicts come from some of the most wonderful families and some of the worst.
There's at least two pieces of better news here. One, some people reach a point where they've had enough of the consequences of addiction, and they work a recovery program and succeed. My daughter did, and I thought I had lost her forever. Two, no matter what he does, you can take care of you. If you can't do it for yourself right now, do it for the rest of your family. You don't say where you are, I think Nar-Anon, a program for families of addicts, is world wide. I hope you get some support or some counseling as you make your way through a very hard time.
Keep posting. It helps. People here have been where you are.
It makes perfect sense that you would be grieving your son, the young man you knew is gone from your sight right now. It's a horrid loss, you are entitled to grieve. My heart goes out to you.
You didn't fail. Addiction doesn't discriminate, addicts come from some of the most wonderful families and some of the worst.
There's at least two pieces of better news here. One, some people reach a point where they've had enough of the consequences of addiction, and they work a recovery program and succeed. My daughter did, and I thought I had lost her forever. Two, no matter what he does, you can take care of you. If you can't do it for yourself right now, do it for the rest of your family. You don't say where you are, I think Nar-Anon, a program for families of addicts, is world wide. I hope you get some support or some counseling as you make your way through a very hard time.
Keep posting. It helps. People here have been where you are.
Of course you are grieving, it is a loss. As I read this I considered that perhaps your son is trying to protect his family from what he has gotten involved in. It is highly unusual for addicts to just up and stop contact with family. Take care of yourself as best you can and realize you haven't failed at all, even though it feels like you have. Yankee Gram is right, addiction is an equal-opportunity assailant and it can happen in any family. I will keep your family in my meditations. Please keep posting, or at least reading, you don't have to do this alone.
Peace ~ MomNMore
Peace ~ MomNMore
