My second oldest son started using pot at about 14..to taking oxycotton muscle relaxants Xanax and apparently overdosed summer 2014 (he lived with his dad)No one told me my son overdosed on heroin and Xanax and was rushed to hospital He lived thru that but continued to use pills and I had kicked him out of my house by the time he was 18 He refused to go to school (He only had to go 4 hours a day and only had a few months to his diploma) He lyed to me and said he was going to school everyday and I was actually paying him to go to school until I got a letter from the school saying he had missed 80 hours of school..(his father did nothing to make sure he went to school)I brought him back home that nite to make sure he returned to school before they kicked him out permanently..He showed up at my house high on oxycotton and I woke him up the next day for school he refused to go..said his eyes were coming out of his head..OMG I told him either you get in treatment immediately or you are kicked out of my house He chose to be kicked out and live with his dad(his dad a prescription drug abuser also) My son knew in order to have those pills he had to go back to his dads house..My son would not abide by my rules or get help or go to school..Every week or so his dad would have him calling me saying they needed food or ciggerettes and if I brought my son food they always wanted money.I make a lot less money than his dad does...I lived with that constant stress of worrying my son would die or they would manipulate me for money..(my ex makes almost 2000.00 a month from retirement)but was broke within 4 or 5 days of getting his check (he has no rent or house payment)My son showed up at my house numerous times to move back in or get money or whatever to the point where I almost filed a restraining order I should have maybe that would have saved him Idk but I took my son to dentist in nov to have some of his teeth pulled because he was in a lot of pain from his rotten teeth? I had gotten tired of yelling and tough love So I was trying the soft love again..because I saw that my son felt hopeless his dad an idiot and his life was in bottom of well with no job no diploma and no car..and pills pills pills...when I went to pick him up He came out to the car with dirty clothes on looking disshoveled I said Your going to go to dentist dirty like that..He said mom it doesn't matter I dropped him off at dentist He called me I went back to pick him up I took him to store to get him some soft food he could eat..He wanted to go to my house I said no We aren't going to my house He got mad and sat in car while I went in store He came into store when I was in line
started saying im dizzy (I assume he had taken something before he went to dentist) I said go wait in car then he refused started helping me get food in cart I took him back to his dads and he wanted my help getting grocerys in house so I helped him kissed him told him I loved him and left within a few weeks he was calling again to tell me he had no food again...on thanksgiving I asked him if he wanted to go to my sisters for dinner he said no..I said Ill bring you some food then after I took him bunch of food..last summer I picked him up and took him to hospital try to get him in drug rehab..He refused to get out of the car..I took him back to his dads..I called him about sept one nite and he was crying saying he wanted to come back home and I told him if your willing to get help..then I will help you all I can to get a job and have your own place to live (I still have 2 teens at home who had to be priority and he couldn't come back home and live due to his drug use etc)He cryed I just need my mom..but again refusesd treatment and getting off drugs..He said mom I only do pills once a month
In dec 2015 my 17 year old son broke his ankle in gym class and I had taken him to bone doctor to get his cast put on.we waited for like 3 hours before they got us in room..in meantime I got a call from my ex sister in law crying hard on message ask me if I talked to my ex husband today when I heard her crying I knew my 20 year old son was dead..His father found him slumped over computer table dead...from apparent overdose after autopsy they was no natural cause of death..Havent got toxicology report from coroners yet cause apparently there is so many overdoses in my town that the morgue is too small for all bodys..As you can imagine I am completely devastated by my sons death as he was an extremely intelligent loving and good hearted young man but he had no motivation to succeed and no will to stop taking those bad drugs..and no father that encouraged him to be somebody..So I was basically on my own when it came to teaching my children the right way to go...I hope for all parents dealing with same sht that you can find a way to get thru to your addicted kids before its too late to get help..If your kids are under 18 get them in treatment before they turn 18 its the only hope they have and sometimes even that will not work ..Too many kids dying on these hard prescription drugs and heroin..it just heart wrenching..God bless and give all strength who are dealing with an addict in their lives
Hi T, Your story is heart wrenching! It broke my heart to read it. So very sad! My deepest sympathy to you and your other sons. What a world we live in nowadays where our kids are dying of drug overdoses. I have a daughter who is an addict so I understand how you felt trying to get him to except help. I wish God would help all the addicts and make them all better. I come on here reading posts searching for a solution to help my daughter. It helps having people to confide in and talk to about it. People who aren't affected by drugs really just don't have a clue what a mother goes through. I'm so sorry for the loss of your son T. I'm sure he is looking down on you from Heaven and isn't suffering anymore. My heart goes out to you I can only imagine your pain. God Bless. Mary.
Dear T, I am so sorry about the loss of your son. It seems like you did everything you can. I hope his dad learns from this. Its a horrible disease addiction. There is a member on this site. Her name is Christophers Mom. She has a lot of insight to this disease. She lost her beloved son last year and she pours her heart out in her posts. Please try to reach out to her. You are not alone. Mothers lose children everyday to this monster called addiction. It doesnt matter what type of backround these kids come from. Best of luck to you and god bless...
jojo
jojo
Reading your story was very hard. I am so sorry that you and your family have to go through this. I am also sorry for your Son. I think as a parent of an addict that death is our biggest fear. Please try not to blame yourself or anyone. Hate is a bad thing to harbor. Your Son is at peace now, the struggle is over. Try to remember him on happy days not sad. My heart truly breaks for you. I know the pain of losing a child, not to death but to heroin. All we can do is keep praying. May God Bless you all
I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. Prayers to you and your family!
I am so sorry for the loss of your son. You are suffering what we all fear. Please know that you have many many people on here that will read your story and share your pain. God bless you.
Michelle
Michelle
T., I'm so sorry. I can relate to a lot of your story. I am really, very, very sorry for you. It's wrenching. And, it's true, people unaffected by direct relation to this disease don't have a clue about what we as mothers or the addict goes through. I hope your son's soul has found peace and send you lots of strength for carrying on.
Thanks to all who replyed to my post..My son Travis been gone since dec 10 2015 and Im no better today than I was then..People say time will heal but time will not take away the pain in my heart of losing my son Travis..I buried his ashes on may 4th 2016 on top of my mothers grave
My two youngest kids 18 and 16 and myself..wrote a note to travis and sent it up to heaven with helium balloons We said psalm 23 it was raining wind blowing and storming thank God for that little blue tent they had set up for us but it was chilly People say if it raining during funeral it means the beloved person who passed is in heaven Felt better knowing he is buried on top of his grandma vault and close to 4 other family members buried there (my baby brother Shawn had similar addictions to pills as my son travis and overdosed at 39-is buried close to Travis) I told Travis that I don't have the money or want to bury you at that cemetery over there where my brother is you remind me a lot of my brother-I just wanted to get thru to him) my worst nitemare has came true My son is over there in that damn cemetery He was almost 21 but Travis mind was still in infantile state because his addictions removed the light from his eyes and took away all his dreams and my dreams for him Travis never had a real job a car or even a serious girlfriend or a diploma Travis was extremely intelligent quiet and good hearted He told someone once he couldn't even kill a spider Pot opened the gates to hell ..for Travis and lead to self medicating and just wanting to get higher and higher pot wasn't enough for him..to the point where he didn't care about bathing brushing his teeth..a job or apparently even eating most of the time..at time of Travis autopsy he was almost 5'11 and only weighed 130 lbs We are really skinny people but 130 at 5'11 is way too thin I called Travis in sept 2015 and He was crying on the phone saying I don't know you anymore mom and I want to come home I just need my mom...I told him if he got (medical help)I would help him to get job and place to live but he couldn't come home in the addicted state he was in because I have two other children to get thru high school and Im 56 years old and I cant fund your drug habit He said mom I thought you can help me..I said Travis you need professional detox..Travis said mom I only take pills once a month I have gotten on Travis facebook after he passed and read messages where he talked to friends and said he lied for years about his pill use and I read how he was doing percoset and oxycotton prolly as young as 15 or 16 OmG How did I not know also that Travis told some girl that I just want to fcking Die..im past couple years.apparently travis overdosed on purpose in 2014 and his dipsht dad or travis didn't even tell me..He was revived and survived that suicide attempt..I don't understand those thoughts of wanting to die so young with your whole life ahead of you..but those damn hard drugs cause withdrawels and depression that not normal depression we all have when things get rough but Travis loved those opiates and getting higher and was also taking LSD and Extasy occasionally..I am just now beginning to understand the terrible addiction that those pills cause..and usually leads to heroin or fentanyl when they cant get the pills..Now that I have his autopsy report back I found out that my son Travis died from fentanyl overdose but apparently didn't use the needle (I suppose they snort it idk)He also had Klonepin in his system but coroner says it was accidental fentanyl overdose but Im not sure Travis did it accidently I may never know as long as I live if Travis Killed his self on purpose or the drugs just took my beautiful son (fentanyl is 50-100 times more deadly than heroin ) I hope thru all my pain and suffering losing Travis that I can help other mothers or others who are dealing with Loved ones who are addicted to these devil drugs So sad to lose our children this way ..I sure can relate to other mothers etc who are dealing with their addict children or spouses etc My son Travis was gifted playing his electric guitar and in the end seemed to be the only thing he had that still made him happy they layed his headstone which reads Travis Estes Beloved son brother and friend and has an electric guitar etched into the stone ROCK ON! I pray everyday for all parents sisters brothers etc who are loving and hating our addicted loved ones Do all you can to save them but sometimes We cant save them but do everything you can to get them on road to recovery especially if they are under 18 and You can force them into treatment Tosha 56 year old mother of Travis
My two youngest kids 18 and 16 and myself..wrote a note to travis and sent it up to heaven with helium balloons We said psalm 23 it was raining wind blowing and storming thank God for that little blue tent they had set up for us but it was chilly People say if it raining during funeral it means the beloved person who passed is in heaven Felt better knowing he is buried on top of his grandma vault and close to 4 other family members buried there (my baby brother Shawn had similar addictions to pills as my son travis and overdosed at 39-is buried close to Travis) I told Travis that I don't have the money or want to bury you at that cemetery over there where my brother is you remind me a lot of my brother-I just wanted to get thru to him) my worst nitemare has came true My son is over there in that damn cemetery He was almost 21 but Travis mind was still in infantile state because his addictions removed the light from his eyes and took away all his dreams and my dreams for him Travis never had a real job a car or even a serious girlfriend or a diploma Travis was extremely intelligent quiet and good hearted He told someone once he couldn't even kill a spider Pot opened the gates to hell ..for Travis and lead to self medicating and just wanting to get higher and higher pot wasn't enough for him..to the point where he didn't care about bathing brushing his teeth..a job or apparently even eating most of the time..at time of Travis autopsy he was almost 5'11 and only weighed 130 lbs We are really skinny people but 130 at 5'11 is way too thin I called Travis in sept 2015 and He was crying on the phone saying I don't know you anymore mom and I want to come home I just need my mom...I told him if he got (medical help)I would help him to get job and place to live but he couldn't come home in the addicted state he was in because I have two other children to get thru high school and Im 56 years old and I cant fund your drug habit He said mom I thought you can help me..I said Travis you need professional detox..Travis said mom I only take pills once a month I have gotten on Travis facebook after he passed and read messages where he talked to friends and said he lied for years about his pill use and I read how he was doing percoset and oxycotton prolly as young as 15 or 16 OmG How did I not know also that Travis told some girl that I just want to fcking Die..im past couple years.apparently travis overdosed on purpose in 2014 and his dipsht dad or travis didn't even tell me..He was revived and survived that suicide attempt..I don't understand those thoughts of wanting to die so young with your whole life ahead of you..but those damn hard drugs cause withdrawels and depression that not normal depression we all have when things get rough but Travis loved those opiates and getting higher and was also taking LSD and Extasy occasionally..I am just now beginning to understand the terrible addiction that those pills cause..and usually leads to heroin or fentanyl when they cant get the pills..Now that I have his autopsy report back I found out that my son Travis died from fentanyl overdose but apparently didn't use the needle (I suppose they snort it idk)He also had Klonepin in his system but coroner says it was accidental fentanyl overdose but Im not sure Travis did it accidently I may never know as long as I live if Travis Killed his self on purpose or the drugs just took my beautiful son (fentanyl is 50-100 times more deadly than heroin ) I hope thru all my pain and suffering losing Travis that I can help other mothers or others who are dealing with Loved ones who are addicted to these devil drugs So sad to lose our children this way ..I sure can relate to other mothers etc who are dealing with their addict children or spouses etc My son Travis was gifted playing his electric guitar and in the end seemed to be the only thing he had that still made him happy they layed his headstone which reads Travis Estes Beloved son brother and friend and has an electric guitar etched into the stone ROCK ON! I pray everyday for all parents sisters brothers etc who are loving and hating our addicted loved ones Do all you can to save them but sometimes We cant save them but do everything you can to get them on road to recovery especially if they are under 18 and You can force them into treatment Tosha 56 year old mother of Travis
Dear Travis Mom,
I am so sorry to read your loss. I keep waiting for that call My son is 35 and has OD so many times, attempted suicide. Ate, shot up, snorted and smoke anything he could get his hands on. He almost lost his arm this summer. But nothing has change him. I honestly don't know how he is still alive. God has something import for him, but I just don't know what yet. I am waiting to see what he has in plan for him. My middle son started at 13 with just pot by 18 he was on cocaine, then 23 heroin. He can't seem to find the perfect high. Drinking and smoking is his past time. Jail/rehabs/12 steps nothing works.
The children of the 80's on have no fear of drugs or the consequences. They don't release it mentally changes their thinking. They become depressed/obsessed and paranoid. They think they are born like that, but we as parents know they are not. It's the drugs that change them. My son won't believe it, the drs have convinced him that he is bi polar. He wasn't he was a gifted kid with a genius IQ. I don't know why he did it and never will, right now he can't remember what he told me five minutes ago. I wish we had answers. I wish we had resources, I wish our hands weren't tied when them became of age.
We need help to fight the drugs , treatment centers. More information to the children coming up.
Right now we have so many wars the drug war is winning the life of our children.
I hope you find peace that you son is safe now in the hand of god. He won't be hungry or homeless. Dirty or in pain. It's all I've got to look forward now is my son's death.
Be strong for you other children that is what I am doing..
XXX
I am so sorry to read your loss. I keep waiting for that call My son is 35 and has OD so many times, attempted suicide. Ate, shot up, snorted and smoke anything he could get his hands on. He almost lost his arm this summer. But nothing has change him. I honestly don't know how he is still alive. God has something import for him, but I just don't know what yet. I am waiting to see what he has in plan for him. My middle son started at 13 with just pot by 18 he was on cocaine, then 23 heroin. He can't seem to find the perfect high. Drinking and smoking is his past time. Jail/rehabs/12 steps nothing works.
The children of the 80's on have no fear of drugs or the consequences. They don't release it mentally changes their thinking. They become depressed/obsessed and paranoid. They think they are born like that, but we as parents know they are not. It's the drugs that change them. My son won't believe it, the drs have convinced him that he is bi polar. He wasn't he was a gifted kid with a genius IQ. I don't know why he did it and never will, right now he can't remember what he told me five minutes ago. I wish we had answers. I wish we had resources, I wish our hands weren't tied when them became of age.
We need help to fight the drugs , treatment centers. More information to the children coming up.
Right now we have so many wars the drug war is winning the life of our children.
I hope you find peace that you son is safe now in the hand of god. He won't be hungry or homeless. Dirty or in pain. It's all I've got to look forward now is my son's death.
Be strong for you other children that is what I am doing..
XXX
Travis's mom,
I'm so sorry for the pain you feel. I wish I could do something to make you smile for a moment. I'm sorry. My heart and prayers go out to you and your beloved little baby boy. Jessica.
I'm so sorry for the pain you feel. I wish I could do something to make you smile for a moment. I'm sorry. My heart and prayers go out to you and your beloved little baby boy. Jessica.
Travis mom
I am so sorry
My son has been struggling for years. He will be turning 21 next month. I spent last weekend at the hospital because he had taken pills and fentanyl. I'm so scared. He's been in rehab 6 days and I dont think he has hit his bottom. He too has a heart of gold and such a good person. I pray things turn around. I'm reading all these post and Taking in as much info as possible.
Thank you for sharing and I'm so very sorry. Please Try to take care. Praying!
I am so sorry
My son has been struggling for years. He will be turning 21 next month. I spent last weekend at the hospital because he had taken pills and fentanyl. I'm so scared. He's been in rehab 6 days and I dont think he has hit his bottom. He too has a heart of gold and such a good person. I pray things turn around. I'm reading all these post and Taking in as much info as possible.
Thank you for sharing and I'm so very sorry. Please Try to take care. Praying!
