i woke this morning to find my 6 year old daughter touching my face. she asks, "mama did you get new skin?" i laughed but i knew what she meant.
each time i get clean i watch my skin renew... weed seems to give me a gray tone... and my pale 'irish' skin and green eyes come alive again. i asked my daughter what she meant she said just that it looks all new. i told her to best keep quiet about it or people will think i had some plastic surgery lol.
this is another perk of coming clean. it won't erase the years but healthy is the word i think i'm looking for.
amidst a terrible emotional time i've been going thru lately (not really related to weed). i figure if this 'glow' can shine thru imagine when i feel better. just thought i'd throw this out to you folks as i know we all need all the inspiration we can get.
... jojo
| QUOTE |
| i figure if this 'glow' can shine thru imagine when i feel better. |
I can see the glow from here! ~smile~
Dear JoJo,
Most inspired by your post.
Your "New skin" title, made me think of my other child....a cornsnake, her name is Gina and she is beautiful. Snakes are feared by most....it's too bad. Misunderstood. She is chilling right now, she will be shedding soon. Her eyes are opaque/blue. This gives her a trance like appearance as if she is looking right through me. Learning how to see into the hearts of others is part of what she teaches me.
Ahhh, just as the snake sheds it's skin and represents transformation, power and renewal.....a metaphor for how we shed old ways and habits.
My oldest son, T, commented on my eyes when I got home from India, they were "greener somehow" he said.
I am Irish too. <smile>
Our "children" do open our eyes wider than we ever knew we could on our own, yes ?
You sound good...:-)
Love and light,
Dhyana
Most inspired by your post.
Your "New skin" title, made me think of my other child....a cornsnake, her name is Gina and she is beautiful. Snakes are feared by most....it's too bad. Misunderstood. She is chilling right now, she will be shedding soon. Her eyes are opaque/blue. This gives her a trance like appearance as if she is looking right through me. Learning how to see into the hearts of others is part of what she teaches me.
Ahhh, just as the snake sheds it's skin and represents transformation, power and renewal.....a metaphor for how we shed old ways and habits.
My oldest son, T, commented on my eyes when I got home from India, they were "greener somehow" he said.
I am Irish too. <smile>
Our "children" do open our eyes wider than we ever knew we could on our own, yes ?
You sound good...:-)
Love and light,
Dhyana
hi jojo, great to hear that you are clean. last year about a month after i cleaned out, my teenage daugthers told me wife that there was something different about me in a good way. that was nice. they said i wasn't so miserable, here i thought smoking all the time was making me happy. today, i know i am much happier without the monkey on my back and without looking over my shoulder all the time wondering if i was going to misstep and loose tons.
hi all- thanks all for your supportive posts:) i'm staying on the course this time. i can not bear to go thru those first few limbo days again.
yes hardcharger how freeing to not have that darn monkey on my back. along with the planning, plotting, scheming to get it, wasting money and my mind... also a lot to be said and also to be written about being honest. people always tell me i look so healthy, i would want to say 'ha if you only knew' and now to live without a dirty secret. to go out and not worry that i left something out or worse burning, when someone asks if i smoke, i can say i don't; i don't smoke anything... to not live a lie anymore. to not cheat on my daughter and my husband who both deserve my full attention. and new skin!
i see my doc on friday regarding my meds. i'm still unwell in that regard... but all this anxiety and stress sure made the withdrawl easier this time, it just blended in... also knowing i did it in august, i knew if i survived that time i would again...
a little wistful when i pass that sweet smell on the street but hey... it's better this way. just like an old boyfriend:)
ww i love the snake skin metaphor and yes our children do show us ourselves... as much as we guide them, they do us too.
thank you all, and bless you!
jojo
yes hardcharger how freeing to not have that darn monkey on my back. along with the planning, plotting, scheming to get it, wasting money and my mind... also a lot to be said and also to be written about being honest. people always tell me i look so healthy, i would want to say 'ha if you only knew' and now to live without a dirty secret. to go out and not worry that i left something out or worse burning, when someone asks if i smoke, i can say i don't; i don't smoke anything... to not live a lie anymore. to not cheat on my daughter and my husband who both deserve my full attention. and new skin!
i see my doc on friday regarding my meds. i'm still unwell in that regard... but all this anxiety and stress sure made the withdrawl easier this time, it just blended in... also knowing i did it in august, i knew if i survived that time i would again...
a little wistful when i pass that sweet smell on the street but hey... it's better this way. just like an old boyfriend:)
ww i love the snake skin metaphor and yes our children do show us ourselves... as much as we guide them, they do us too.
thank you all, and bless you!
jojo
