My Boyfriend's Heroin Problems

Hi..

This would be one of the many times I have looked at one of these sites but first time writing cause I don't know what else to do. When I met my partner I didn't realise that he was using heroin but quickly found out. It took him six months to stop after promising me the world and I stuck by him. It got so bad that he had no choice but to stop or die. That's what I truly believe. That is kinda what he told me. Anyhow - he went on the Bupe treatment and finished that within a few months so we could go away on a holiday. That's the beginning. We have now been together for two and a half years. At the beginning of this year I knew that something had started up again. I started finding foils around the house - he was acting sneaky among other things and well - sometimes you "just know" and don't really need any proof. Of course he lied and said it was his friend and blah blah. A few weeks later - same scenario. Another few weeks - I actually find the stuff in his wallet (yes yes - I have started being this totally out of control person who now snoops through my partners stuff - all the while hating myself for it but I can't seem to stop - it makes me cry) and so he said it was the first time since blah blah. Anyway - I forget (as much as you can) and then again it happens and the same lies. Until the other week. Last thursday I came home and there in the bin (right on the top) was another foil and stuff. Of course he lied again until he knew that I was seriously going to leave. So I assumed that he was only using a little over the last couple of months but turns out I finally get the truth - and he's been lying for the last year and a half. He says it's not lying - so there is some truth in that but by not being truly honest with your partner - you may not be lying as such but rather you are being dishonest and devious and as if along the way over the last year and a half there hasn't been any lies - bulls***. Right now - I am really really hurt - for the fact that he chose again to decieve me. For the fact that he can't seem to understand my pain - that I always take care of him but he can't seem to take care of me. One thing I have noticed is that Heroin makes people so very very selfish - using for all the time he did and thinking of nobody but himself has made him a not very giving person. I guess I'm just saying all the stuff you all know already. I think I am wasting my time with him - I think I love him but not as much anymore due to the lies and stuff. I am sooooooooooooooooo very very tired....... and hurt and upset. But it is so hard to leave..... if someone has the time could you please just give me some words - your story - anything .... it's hard not really having anyone to talk to about this..................
Hey sweeti. This is so sad to hear someone stuck in a position like u are in. If you have read any of my posts, you will know that I had the same problem with my now ex-boyfriend the only difference is that he was a boozer. But in the long run the effects to u and I are the same. I can tell you something, HE WILL KEEP HURTING YOU. If u don't get out now, you will just be sinking deeper into his web of lies. If you read some of my earlier posts, you will see how things progressed and how much easier it became to be without him, compared to the beginning. I know how hard it SEEMS, but I can definitely guarantee that it will be a whole lot better in the long run.
Please don't let his problems become yours, and if it already has, get out.
Things can be a whole lot brighter, promise.
Angie
Listen to Angie, she's great and really knows what she is talking about. Hope you're taking care of yourself Ms Angie SA.

My boyfriend is also a heroin addict, I am too now but for a long time was trying to get him off it before I got sucked in. It truly can't be done unless they want to. Sorry pickle.

L
x
Thanx Angie and Laulau for the responses. It appears the lies are forever and never ending and I know all of what you both say is true. I told him today that I don't care anymore and that I am falling out of love with him.... and it's true. I'm starting to feel nothing toward him and so this can't last for long. I have already had a lot of pain in my life - I used to be married and lost my husband 3 years ago. I don't need anymore and will now slowly make steps to move on and out.
I am living with an addict. i dont know how you missed it for that long. Wasnt he showing the signs? I feel the same as you. One day up one day down -never happy - hoping he will get better - taking the roller coaster where he turns on me and hates me out of the blue for 1-7 days. Dont some people get better? Help. I dont want to leave and start over. He has admitted the problem. but he is on and off oc's and i never know who is coming in the door. i almost like him better on drugs because at least than he is not depressed. still- i want him off - iwant to know who he really is. help. dying inside. jen
Hi,
I have been using herion for 35 years on methadone for 25 years. My wife
of 25 years has hung in she is GREAT. Once she asked what it was like
I went through the roof, she never asked again. Anyone that is hooked on
stuff should know better that to let someone JUST try it once that's what
I did,Yea. I work very hard to put my sons through collage and very good schools.
Not everyone on herion is a low life. I you do not use and they ever ask you
too SHOW THEM THE DOOR before you JUST try it once like me.