My boyfriend and I have been together 10 months nearly and had a strong relationship until a couple of months ago, we used to live together and he always was kind, sweet, caring, gentle and soft towards me, used to text me all day every day and loved spending time with me, didn't really care about goung drinking with mates. He has a terrible past, horrible ex girlfriends, children with another woman, prison, all sorts of drugs, violence, drinking ect. He'd changed and become such a wonderful man (25yrs old) and since we got together I've known he's a daily smoker of weed, he has smoked it every day since being about 13yrs old. All of a sudden his family asked him to stop and gave him an ultimatum, he apparently stopped but I know he hasn't. He turned into such a horrible person a couple of months ago when we moved a part, I live with my parents and he lives on his sisters sofa.. He packed in his good job months ago and was doing 'bits and bobs' until now, he's become an absolutely nasty person, he doesn't care about my feelings and just shouts at me everytime I see him. He's indenial about anything wrong he does and it's all because he's being influenced Wight he wrong people, he's with people who do drugs, drink all the time, party every weekend, swear. Don't care about feelings, use facebook, have nice phones ect. My boyfriend never used to care about phones or anything now all of a sudden he does. He has major mood swings and is always nasty around other people. Every time I call him he shouts and blames me for everything. Says I'm controlling but it's actually because I care about him an don't want him screwing his life up with the wrong people. We had something so amazing now he just ends it becUse he doesn't like me ringing him or anything. It's like someone has taken over his body and he's not controlling himself. He goes drinking all the time, allways thinks he's doing well for himself by working with druggies and keeps saying he doesn't want me because I don't trust him. I hate being shouted at when all I do is be nice to him? I just cannot get through to him, his mind is blocked and he's away With the fariies! He won't listen to me and I think all the years of consistent weed smoking has screwed up his head! His mind is just not him, he's a differnt person and he can't see it. It's like he's trying to hide something, I'm wondering if there's more drugs? I'm can't seem to get him away from such bad people and back to the wonderful man he was? It's like he's not there mentally?! He won't get help because he's too stubborn, he's cocky, moody, angry, bad tempered, horrible verve abuse and he's just not himself. He blames everything on me and I can't watch him just throw everything away. I'm worried he'll go sleep with other girls too? HELP MY MINDS A MESS?! X
You will read your story repeated in these threads over & over. Read them.
He is an addict that has brief periods where he seems OK then gets worse.
That is the disease of alcoholism/addiction. It is progressive.
He will continue to get worse until he hits bottom and finds recovery-- or dies.
If you are not tied (children, financial) to this man I suggest you get out NOW.
Please ask yourself what is the attraction of this man and work on yourself, your self-esteem.
Nar-Anon and Al-Anon can help you get your life back if you seek them.. reach out.
You can find them in your phone book or on-line at :
http://www.nar-anon.org/ and http://www.al-anon.org/
All the best.
Bob R
He is an addict that has brief periods where he seems OK then gets worse.
That is the disease of alcoholism/addiction. It is progressive.
He will continue to get worse until he hits bottom and finds recovery-- or dies.
If you are not tied (children, financial) to this man I suggest you get out NOW.
Please ask yourself what is the attraction of this man and work on yourself, your self-esteem.
Nar-Anon and Al-Anon can help you get your life back if you seek them.. reach out.
You can find them in your phone book or on-line at :
http://www.nar-anon.org/ and http://www.al-anon.org/
All the best.
Bob R
Thankyou for your reply, means a lot! I feel like I really want to help him because I love him so much but I just cannot get through to him. He'd rather go off with bad people and drink/drugs and not get anywhere, I'm just trying to help him but all he does is blame me for everything, shout and make me feel so unimportant. How do I know if he's using other drugs?
You won't.
This situation will continue to get worse.
People loved The Titanic as well but there comes a time to cut your losses and get into the life boat.
Al-Anon & Nar-Anon will help you get YOU back.
Bob
This situation will continue to get worse.
People loved The Titanic as well but there comes a time to cut your losses and get into the life boat.
Al-Anon & Nar-Anon will help you get YOU back.
Bob
. Your boyfriend has had a very troublesome life by what you wrote. The majority of his current way of life is a life I can't imagine anyone wanting to be in. He Was a great guy? But not anymore. His current choices are not responsible , healthy ones.. He seems financially irresponsible, not much of a father, umemployed, out of control angry. Really, if he is blaming you for so much, at what point does his anger turn into violence ? I Don't see the attraction. You are young, time to start living your life and not being in his nightmare. If he gets help and wants to he will. Seems like you both might be in denial. Unless you want to chance this way of life, I'd leave. YOU CAN NOT SAVE HIM. Educate yourself on addiction.Even if he is in recovery, that alone will be his priority. Then his childs needs. Where do you fit in? It's just not worth giving up your life for someone else's problem. Especially if that problem is addiction.
Run. And fast.
The truth is...RUN, before he destroy your self steam.
Self-esteem
