My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. He introduced me to adderall about a year ago. Ever since then, I've been taking it for school. Little did I know when he showed me the pills, he broke his sobriety. Ever since he showed me the pill, he's been a different person. I see the different sides of him that before, I had never seen. Since the day we started taking adderall together, he showed all the signs of an addict, I just didn't put the pieces together. I was so naive. He would always take my pills I'd buy for school and I thought he was just being greedy. We'd always get in fights about that but I loved him so it didn't matter.
So now, with me being not only naive but selfish. I made him get prescribed to adderall, because I was tired of paying so much for pills. Him getting prescribed to the pills has done nothing but put a huge strain on our relationship. I asked him if he could handle the pills being in the house, he said yes of course. Even though he knew he couldn't. I would try to hide them. The first spot I put them in he threw it away on accident. Then the next spot I choose, he found them. Even though I had told him if he took my pills one more time I was leaving. When I saw he took my pills, I wasn't even mad. I was just so sad, it was like he choose 15 pills over me. He finally admitted to me he was a drug addict. I always kind of knew he was, but the word addict is just so heavy. I just couldn't think of him like that. The only reason I stayed was because if I left I knew it wouldn't be good. I'm literally scared of what he would do to himself if I left. I met him right when he was getting sober and he always told me I was his motivation to be good and successful.
I just really want to keep a few pills around for when school starts because it gets so stressful and it's just so much work. I don't flaunt them in front of him at all. I want to support his sobriety, but I also want to continue to take the pills for school. Is this even possible? The reason I'm asking this is because I don't know what addicts are like or what they're capable of. I never had to deal with this kind of issue and never thought I'd have to. I can't talk to my family or friends about this because they would just tell me to leave him. I feel like he is on the brink of complete self destruction soon, it just gets worse and worse every time he gets his hands on pills. I don't want to be selfish and ruin my boyfriends life.
Dear yellowmaniac,
I actually question your need to take this medicine. It is an addicting stimulant. It will begin to catch up on you, too. I understand the temptation. I was a student. You are way better off without it in my opinion.
It sounds like your boyfriend is in the early stages of addiction. If he gets himself into an AA or NA program now, he can avoid much more terrible problems down the road. Another option is to talk to a counselor who understands addiction and recovery. Addiction is a progressive problem. Until it is treated, it gets worse.
Another thought I will plant: It is very common for couples to get addicted together resulting in 2 addicts. It starts out innocent and sharing of pills. Then the fighting and hiding of the pills start. Then, the lying and stealing gets worse. Usually, one person is the "leader" of the addict pack.
I would also take a hard look at this relationship. If his addiction is to point where he needs to start a recovery program, then he'll need to focus on that for 1 year before considering building upon a romance. He will need to demonstrate he can remain sober, live responsibly, take care of a house plant of pet, etc.
Please message back if you'd like to discuss more. If you are willing to share, I'd like to know about your usage of any/all mind altering substances. I have been there before, so please don't think I am trying to be judgmental. It is my wish that I can offer a helpful suggestion.
Fly
I actually question your need to take this medicine. It is an addicting stimulant. It will begin to catch up on you, too. I understand the temptation. I was a student. You are way better off without it in my opinion.
It sounds like your boyfriend is in the early stages of addiction. If he gets himself into an AA or NA program now, he can avoid much more terrible problems down the road. Another option is to talk to a counselor who understands addiction and recovery. Addiction is a progressive problem. Until it is treated, it gets worse.
Another thought I will plant: It is very common for couples to get addicted together resulting in 2 addicts. It starts out innocent and sharing of pills. Then the fighting and hiding of the pills start. Then, the lying and stealing gets worse. Usually, one person is the "leader" of the addict pack.
I would also take a hard look at this relationship. If his addiction is to point where he needs to start a recovery program, then he'll need to focus on that for 1 year before considering building upon a romance. He will need to demonstrate he can remain sober, live responsibly, take care of a house plant of pet, etc.
Please message back if you'd like to discuss more. If you are willing to share, I'd like to know about your usage of any/all mind altering substances. I have been there before, so please don't think I am trying to be judgmental. It is my wish that I can offer a helpful suggestion.
Fly
Flyboykuao,
Thanks for the response.
Yellowmaniac
Thanks for the response.
Yellowmaniac
