I am a mother of a 23 year old daughter. Almost 3 years ago, while she was away at college, she tried to commit suicide by taking a bunch of pills (not hers) and tylenol and washed it all down with beer. Her girlfriend at the time found her the next morning and only by the grace of God was she still alive (she had vomited which is the only thing that saved her). After a time in a hospital, she was discharged. When I tried to visit her or get any information, they of course would not speak to me since she was over 18. She then moved back up to upstate NY and moved in with her father (my very abusive ex-husband). She want to a program up here, but I don't think it even did anything for her except put her on more drugs and anti-anxiety medicines. She has since become addicted to marijuana and now just told me this morning she has been using Cocaine. She has withdrawn from me over the past few years and blames me for the divorce (even though it was her father who walked out on all of his after having a 2 year affair with a co-worker). She called me extremely upset last night because she had gotten in a huge fight with her father and he told her to get out. She eventually went back into the house and just went to bed. She is currently working at a "normal" job, but she has no money because she has spent it all on drugs. Then this morning she texted me to tell me she has also been using Cocaine. I told her she needs to get help. She is also detoxing off of many prescription tranquilizers and anti-anxiety meds (which I agree I think these doctors just kept giving her pills instead of looking to the root of the problem). I also felt helpless last night as I can't have her come back to my house here, because my new husband refuses to help her out again. I am feeling very helpless and alone at this point. I don't know what the solution isI don't think she has hit rock-bottom yet even though she says she is trying to detox herself. I think it is just because she has no money until her next paycheck and then she will go buy drugs again. Any suggestions you can give me will be greatly appreciated. Thank you...
Dear Kstone,
I am sorry to hear about this. You are correct: Her message of detoxing is most likely a ploy to manipulate you into enabling her habit - whether it be housing or money.
Simply detoxing is not the "full measure" of what she needs. She needs professional help, and one suited toward her issues. For example, some rehabs specialilze in young women who suffered childhood trauma.
As a first step, you might reach out to your nearest and most respected treatment center. In my experience, they will sit down with you and discuss strategies for your daughter (free of charge). They will also help you - as you need to be equipped as the parent of an addict.
As another option, there is also AA and NA for your daughter; and Al Anon or NAR Anon for you. These are free programs, and there should be meetings near you.
I hope this helps. Good Luck.
I am sorry to hear about this. You are correct: Her message of detoxing is most likely a ploy to manipulate you into enabling her habit - whether it be housing or money.
Simply detoxing is not the "full measure" of what she needs. She needs professional help, and one suited toward her issues. For example, some rehabs specialilze in young women who suffered childhood trauma.
As a first step, you might reach out to your nearest and most respected treatment center. In my experience, they will sit down with you and discuss strategies for your daughter (free of charge). They will also help you - as you need to be equipped as the parent of an addict.
As another option, there is also AA and NA for your daughter; and Al Anon or NAR Anon for you. These are free programs, and there should be meetings near you.
I hope this helps. Good Luck.
