Hello. I'm so glad to have found this site and board. I hope to come here often. I've been using pot for "medicinal" reasons for years. I'm an insomniac and used it to sleep. BUT--- as the years of use accumulated I was seeing in myself some awful signs and was considering psychotherapy for bi-polar disorder (as my "symptoms" were mimicking that of bpd). Very irritable during the day/night. Still unable to sleep. Using pot early in the evenings then bedtime and thinking about it throughout the day. bad decision making. no self-esteem. no motivation. loss of personality etc etc etc.
I was going to be drug tested for my new job so stopped using about 3 weeks ago and I now can see that pot was a huge issue for me. I'm like a different person. It's like I'm NOW awake!!?? And, I also see that it IS addictive. Maybe not physically but certainly emotionally and habitually. After almost a month I still think about it in the evenings. I kind of "crave" it maybe like someone would crave smoking cigarettes?!
I come from a family of alcoholics. I always thought I escaped the "addiction gene" butr now think maybe I just had another "drug of choice", if you will.
Anyway, that's my story. Also, I have a wonderful husband and a (almost) 3 year old son. I am an office manager (for one week!) after being a sahm for 3 years. I look forward to meeting you all.
Welcome Island Mama! I definitely think you have found the right place to be. Reading your post was like deja vu for me - I could have written that post myself. That is actually exactly how I feel and have felt for years. I too come from a long line of alcoholics which is why in college when everyone else was drinking I was smoking. From there it just got worse - especially given that I was able to smoke and have a "productive" life for over a decade. BUT you are right - I thought I was "productive" and awake but I definitely was not.
Being clean is like being wide awake - it is almost like a high now and I am only on Day 4 of a process that was years in the making. This time I know I can kick this habit and this board and people like you are helping tremendously.
Thanks for sharing your story and congratulations on the new job!
Being clean is like being wide awake - it is almost like a high now and I am only on Day 4 of a process that was years in the making. This time I know I can kick this habit and this board and people like you are helping tremendously.
Thanks for sharing your story and congratulations on the new job!
Melgator, How you doing with it man? (assuming you are a man)
You and me are kind of at the same point here. your 4 days i'm 6. You finding it any easier yet? I feel as though I am getting over the habit, but I still feel very anxious and I can't sleep at all!
this your first crack at quitting? Did you cut back first or just go on as normal? Wanna make a bet on who caves and smokes a joint first? (hope your not a gambling addict too lol).
Good luck to you and may we both have a good straight 2006!
We're all pulling for ya!
Same to you islandmama!
Cheers!
Mr.B
You and me are kind of at the same point here. your 4 days i'm 6. You finding it any easier yet? I feel as though I am getting over the habit, but I still feel very anxious and I can't sleep at all!
this your first crack at quitting? Did you cut back first or just go on as normal? Wanna make a bet on who caves and smokes a joint first? (hope your not a gambling addict too lol).
Good luck to you and may we both have a good straight 2006!
We're all pulling for ya!
Same to you islandmama!
Cheers!
Mr.B
Actually we are ALOT alike except I am not a man - Mel is short for Melissa!
Easier? Relative term for sure. I feel like it is still all I think about. But then I realize how proud I feel for changing myself and my ways. It definitely feels like I am three or four months into 2006 - not just 6 days. Funny how much more time we have in life when we are not wasting it!
I have been very anxious and went to the GNC health store. They recommended a natural herb called Holy Basil. It is all natural and is supposed to relax you. I feel like it actually has helped my nerves at night but that could be just because I want it to help. Either way - it cannot hurt me. Sleep has not come easy but I've been using the time awake to do other things.
Definitely NOT my first try at quitting. Many unsuccessful attempts over the last ten plus years - I am 35 and have been trying to break the habit for at least five years now. Many times I made it several weeks but then something led me astray. This is definitely the best I have felt about how I am trying to quit this time. Things like you and these boards really help.
Not a gambling addict but I would not bet you. Go back and re-read your posts - you are already like a different, healthier person already. You are really a motivating factor for me - thank you for being there.
Now I'm off to my night job of bartending. Good luck keep straight and I'll be back on tomorrow!
Easier? Relative term for sure. I feel like it is still all I think about. But then I realize how proud I feel for changing myself and my ways. It definitely feels like I am three or four months into 2006 - not just 6 days. Funny how much more time we have in life when we are not wasting it!
I have been very anxious and went to the GNC health store. They recommended a natural herb called Holy Basil. It is all natural and is supposed to relax you. I feel like it actually has helped my nerves at night but that could be just because I want it to help. Either way - it cannot hurt me. Sleep has not come easy but I've been using the time awake to do other things.
Definitely NOT my first try at quitting. Many unsuccessful attempts over the last ten plus years - I am 35 and have been trying to break the habit for at least five years now. Many times I made it several weeks but then something led me astray. This is definitely the best I have felt about how I am trying to quit this time. Things like you and these boards really help.
Not a gambling addict but I would not bet you. Go back and re-read your posts - you are already like a different, healthier person already. You are really a motivating factor for me - thank you for being there.
Now I'm off to my night job of bartending. Good luck keep straight and I'll be back on tomorrow!
i've tried a few things for anxiety, which has finally left me, i was so screwed up the first 6 wks, felt like my heart was going to explode, don't take Ginko, I think that made it worse. St. Johns Wort is proven for depression, but it takes a few weeks to work, like similar prescription meds. I tried Kava, ordered stuff from Hawaii - root drink is very disgusting to drink and i can hardly bare it - not worth it, or the pills from Basement Shaman, they do work and do something. A mild substitute or crutch. Don't take and drive, it is an evening thing.
My blood pressure went up very high, never problem before, i think Ginko extract did it or aggravated it, so I found that Hawthorn extract helps bp, and i got the extract and take 1/2-3/4 dropper 3x per day, squirt in a small glass of water. I can feel the effect and it is "smoothing", bougth at the mall Vitamin World. Supposedly no side effects whatsoever, but wouldn't over do it.
Also can take amino acids like CalmEze but I think? they take weeks to work like St. johns worts or prescribed anti-depressants.
My blood pressure went up very high, never problem before, i think Ginko extract did it or aggravated it, so I found that Hawthorn extract helps bp, and i got the extract and take 1/2-3/4 dropper 3x per day, squirt in a small glass of water. I can feel the effect and it is "smoothing", bougth at the mall Vitamin World. Supposedly no side effects whatsoever, but wouldn't over do it.
Also can take amino acids like CalmEze but I think? they take weeks to work like St. johns worts or prescribed anti-depressants.
try 'beclamed' amino acids for the brain function. i loved them but gave me headaches....... if you aren't headache prone it's great!
How did my intro become a support thread for someone else? No worries in the least as support should be taken as it comes... just bummed that, as usual, everyone "talks right over me". ohhhhhhhhh wooooooooooo is me.
After all those weeks I smoked this evening. My dh hasd a tiony bit left and we smoked it. And, he says, that's it he's not buying any more... and I never buy it myself... so, hopefully that's it.
After all those weeks I smoked this evening. My dh hasd a tiony bit left and we smoked it. And, he says, that's it he's not buying any more... and I never buy it myself... so, hopefully that's it.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND YOURS, ISLANDMAMA !
hey evreyone I hope all of us make it and I think we will!! I find myself craving badley when I get bored. Its like the boredum gets to me and I wanna smoke. So one thing that has helped me is finding something to do when I get bored. Whether it be going outside and raking leaves, cleaning house, reading a book, or doing a crossword, heck even getting on here and just reading other peoples stories in other categories. I don't know if this will help ya'll but it sure has helped me.
Welcome to the board Island mom. As potheads we sometimes get off track, you will have to forgive us, and we can't remember jack. lol.
Hope you find this place as helpful as I have.
Hope you find this place as helpful as I have.
