OK here it goes I hurt my back got 2 ueineted discs so dr gave me pills . they did the job 2 years later got really addicted went dr shopping got caught .. that ened drink a little didnt like that o yes i drank for 10 years stoped no meetings no help just stoped clean for 8 years than pain pills . so moved to portland for better job computer engeneer my spouse and a good cna job no mre pills great o yea pills again again so was taking 25to 30 now im down to 4 to6 a day doing ok but this is the kicker .. when i stop i get anxity sweats and im done no depression no loss of energy w\d arnt bad i take them 1 week run out and start again now i get pills over internet lkie candy but they cost 200.00 for 60 norco i cut them in half and take 4 to6 aday so ive cut down alot .but the problem is i still enjoy them without getting sick. so i say ok im not sick as the oyhers bot thats denil for you so my plan is to stop but the problem is i still enjoy them and i no one day i will get sick i take vitamins clean my body with liver clenser eat alot of vega fruit take meds for b\p. take good care of myself walk all day ... so thats my life I guess by cuttind down. I feel like Im doing some good, I no people are going to look down apon me thats life love you all yspearing
If you like playing the pill game...and you don't get too sick, it's your choice. Nothing worse than back pain. Nothing takes it away. I am off Norco - day 6. I feel HORRIBLE. I played the pill game with the internet and last week my site was shut down. I was forced to quit. And, I got sick of playing the pill game. I am paying the price so bad right now. Sicker than a dog, but I am still going to work through it all. Good luck, and when you are ready to quit, maybe it won't be so bad.
Y..you're a computer engineer? wow
I'm glad you shared your story and why would any of us look down on you? We are all the same. No one here is any better or worse off than the next. You're reaching out for help and that's all that matters. You have to want to quit to be able to do it. No one is perfect at it, we all slip or relapse...it just happends. But you never give up, you keep coming back.
So, now I have to ask you... do you want to quit? Are you trying to justify your use and protect it? Or do you truely want off of the roller coaster?
Taking the amount that you are now, your w/d won't be as bad as those who have been taking substantially more than that. You will be uncomfortable but you won't die. You'll need support from friends and family and I think that you would really embrace a 12 step program. You're such a sweetiepie with a big heart, that you would benefit from a women's group and have so much to offer.
This board will always be here for you but we can't hug you and give you that face to face time that you need. We all need to feel loved and supported through this..we can' do it alone.
Hang in there darlin... keep posting and don't feel for one minute that you don't belong here. I look forward to your posts.
Cowgirl
I'm glad you shared your story and why would any of us look down on you? We are all the same. No one here is any better or worse off than the next. You're reaching out for help and that's all that matters. You have to want to quit to be able to do it. No one is perfect at it, we all slip or relapse...it just happends. But you never give up, you keep coming back.
So, now I have to ask you... do you want to quit? Are you trying to justify your use and protect it? Or do you truely want off of the roller coaster?
Taking the amount that you are now, your w/d won't be as bad as those who have been taking substantially more than that. You will be uncomfortable but you won't die. You'll need support from friends and family and I think that you would really embrace a 12 step program. You're such a sweetiepie with a big heart, that you would benefit from a women's group and have so much to offer.
This board will always be here for you but we can't hug you and give you that face to face time that you need. We all need to feel loved and supported through this..we can' do it alone.
Hang in there darlin... keep posting and don't feel for one minute that you don't belong here. I look forward to your posts.
Cowgirl
Are you seriously a computer engineer?? You couldn't tell by the way you type and all your incomplete sentances (no offence but that's the truth).
I completely agree with Cowgirl. Do you even want to get off pills? You say that you enjoy them too much to stop them? So I don't exactly know why you are here then? People come here to get help to get off pills cause they hate what the pills are doing to them and they lives, not because they like taking the pills. To some people here they might even find that as a tigger so say you like taking pills.
In all honesty maybe this board isn't the best place for you. That's just my opinion though. From what I can remember you have posted here for the longest time that you need a plan but haven't started anything yet and you still like taking pills??
So I'm not really sure what you asking from us? Do you require attention? Do you want us to say it's ok to take pills??? I guess I'm confused here....
Well thats my .02..
I completely agree with Cowgirl. Do you even want to get off pills? You say that you enjoy them too much to stop them? So I don't exactly know why you are here then? People come here to get help to get off pills cause they hate what the pills are doing to them and they lives, not because they like taking the pills. To some people here they might even find that as a tigger so say you like taking pills.
In all honesty maybe this board isn't the best place for you. That's just my opinion though. From what I can remember you have posted here for the longest time that you need a plan but haven't started anything yet and you still like taking pills??
So I'm not really sure what you asking from us? Do you require attention? Do you want us to say it's ok to take pills??? I guess I'm confused here....
Well thats my .02..
I think she said her husband was a computer engineer. Keep coming back.
Yspearing, I didn't get sick taking pills, I got sick of having to take them to function. I was tired of planning my life around them. I hated waking up each morning and pills being my first thought. (let's not forget the cost). It's good that you've cut down, but that's just a start. Imagine life without those things! Try to picture what it would be like to be the person you were before they became essential to you. Without taking the neccessary steps, you're cutting down will only be temporary. You will progress. Get to a meeting, listen to the stories there, get a better understanding of your disease. This disease is for life, it won't go away. Take the plunge and seek recovery. Some part of you wants this, it's why you are here. You've taken the first and very crucial steps. You've admitted you have a problem, you've even made the effort to cut back. The goal here has to be getting clean now. You can do this! Follow in the footsteps of those gone before you. Good luck! Much love, Kat
YES my spouse is the computer engner i no my spelling is bad so sorry why do some people make you feel sad thank you all but i guess im still confused about it all thats why I didnt want to post people like the second post she or he was bitter about me no I dont want the attention i just want to belong somewhere with caring peolpe but ther always someone out ther that is jugementel thats what hurts your I need to stop nwo not day later but im being honest but like that person said what are yoiu doing here if youi dont want sobierty.. think about it and what you say can hurt people love you all AND WHAT I WANT IS TO STOP BUT PEOPLE LIKE THAT make ithard to post becaue i do feel bad thank you cowgirl when i read your poptes they give me this inner peace your so good at what you say and alot of others yspearing
Ok Y I have been reading the thread that you started and I must say if I read it right you went from 25 to 30 a day down to 4 to 6 a day and then I think you went down to 4 to 6 halves a day. Do I got it......If this is the case then you are almost there. You also said that you moved and after you moved you started cutting down. So I wonder what are you missing in your life you seem sad and unsure of yourself. Now I am not judging you but if your are sad maybe that and the pain you feel are helping the pills keep there hold on you. It seems like you are taking very good care of yourself aside from the pills. So I pose these questions what do you think might be missing in your life or what maybe should you get rid of on your life? Also Cowgirl is RIGHT you need some kind on AA/NA. I think not only would you benefit but I think you would have alot to give in return. You should go now even though you are still taking the pills. The pills should not stop you, just go and be honest.
Stay Strong.......
Tina
Stay Strong.......
Tina
Yspearing,
Wow I'm so glad you wrote all that. Listen do not let people intimidate ya here okay???? You as well as everyone else has a right to be here. Your opening up is awesome and it's all part of the process honey. Some people have rough edges. It's okay, keep writing anyway. Don't allow others here to scare ya off. You belong here as much as the next guy. Take what is helpful to you and leave the rest behind. So many people here have walked this whole thing out. It's not easy coming off but man you are doing great in cutting back. So what ..... now you are at a place where you can't cut back too much more without coming off and you are not sure you are ready. So keep writing and reading and maybe one day soon you will say okay now I'm there. It is a disease and you have to be the one to stop. Noone can do it for you and you already know this. You can do it and we all are pulling for you to do it soon. I want to see you free and I know you can do it. You just have to jump off the high dive and you've been watching the view from up there for awhile now. When the time is right you will drop them and they will fall away from you and that will be that. You may struggle psychologically, it's okay that's why there are groups, womans groups, mixed gps, internet, you'll need it. At this point you will look within and know you need more support. You will build it. First you just got want off them and you are inching your way to this point. Notice this cuz it's important. Then keep awareness here with life as it is. All of us quit when it was our time. You will too and life always supports us when we allow it. Supporting might mean sometime negative happens to get us to quit. Whatever the case you keep coming here and writing what you want cuz it's all okay. You are learning, gathering support, sharing and helping. We are here and support you. One day Yspearing you will be telling someone with alot of questions how you stopped and you will help them. For now you need to support you! Okay!
Love,
PM
Wow I'm so glad you wrote all that. Listen do not let people intimidate ya here okay???? You as well as everyone else has a right to be here. Your opening up is awesome and it's all part of the process honey. Some people have rough edges. It's okay, keep writing anyway. Don't allow others here to scare ya off. You belong here as much as the next guy. Take what is helpful to you and leave the rest behind. So many people here have walked this whole thing out. It's not easy coming off but man you are doing great in cutting back. So what ..... now you are at a place where you can't cut back too much more without coming off and you are not sure you are ready. So keep writing and reading and maybe one day soon you will say okay now I'm there. It is a disease and you have to be the one to stop. Noone can do it for you and you already know this. You can do it and we all are pulling for you to do it soon. I want to see you free and I know you can do it. You just have to jump off the high dive and you've been watching the view from up there for awhile now. When the time is right you will drop them and they will fall away from you and that will be that. You may struggle psychologically, it's okay that's why there are groups, womans groups, mixed gps, internet, you'll need it. At this point you will look within and know you need more support. You will build it. First you just got want off them and you are inching your way to this point. Notice this cuz it's important. Then keep awareness here with life as it is. All of us quit when it was our time. You will too and life always supports us when we allow it. Supporting might mean sometime negative happens to get us to quit. Whatever the case you keep coming here and writing what you want cuz it's all okay. You are learning, gathering support, sharing and helping. We are here and support you. One day Yspearing you will be telling someone with alot of questions how you stopped and you will help them. For now you need to support you! Okay!
Love,
PM
THANK YOU ALL I was scared to look at the postes thinking that person was going to give me the boot thank you cowgirl pregnant mom mieteyes and all again kat love you thanks for your patints lovr yspearing and also when i said they make me happy not happy nomal just feeling ok but inside very sad abusive mom my frinds hurt me alot im giver not a taker love
I knew it Y I knew that it was more that just back pain. I just didn't know how to ask in my post without scaring you away. I bet that if you find someone to talk to about what really hurts inside you will find that those pills really don't matter much at all. You take care and take it one day at a time. Sometimes people have a story behind the story and once they start to get it out things start to get better. If you need anyone all you have to do is post......we will respond.
Take care........sending along bunches of hugs for you!
Tina
Take care........sending along bunches of hugs for you!
Tina
yspearing,
Don't be afraid to post your feelings. How are you doing? How far are you with tapering? Just know that it is only a week of feeling bad, weird, horrible...then you start to get back to feeling sort of like yourself. I am on day 6 and this afternoon I found myself actually joking around like my ole self. One thing is bad is that my kneee pain is screaming and this a.m. my back was screaming too. All the pains that have been numbed are coming out. I just took some Asprin. I am still on the Phenergan.....I swear, if that stuff causes addiction I will freak out.
Keep on the site and keep on talking it makes you sane.l
Don't be afraid to post your feelings. How are you doing? How far are you with tapering? Just know that it is only a week of feeling bad, weird, horrible...then you start to get back to feeling sort of like yourself. I am on day 6 and this afternoon I found myself actually joking around like my ole self. One thing is bad is that my kneee pain is screaming and this a.m. my back was screaming too. All the pains that have been numbed are coming out. I just took some Asprin. I am still on the Phenergan.....I swear, if that stuff causes addiction I will freak out.
Keep on the site and keep on talking it makes you sane.l
KAT - I did some research and if the Phenergan has codeine in it (expectorant), it IS a narcotic. Back off of it as soon as you don't feel nauseous.
EDDIE,
The Phenergan does not have codeine in it. My doctor would not prescribe me with anything with an "opiate" in it. I hate him. I just wondered because it seemed like I took some this a.m. and was feeling better, then this afternnon, the foggy feeling is back. I just hate it. Thanks for the research.
The Phenergan does not have codeine in it. My doctor would not prescribe me with anything with an "opiate" in it. I hate him. I just wondered because it seemed like I took some this a.m. and was feeling better, then this afternnon, the foggy feeling is back. I just hate it. Thanks for the research.
Y,
Please e-mail me for non judgemental constructive support and friendship whenever you need it - cinderella98584@hotmail.com
Rilla
Please e-mail me for non judgemental constructive support and friendship whenever you need it - cinderella98584@hotmail.com
Rilla
THANK YOU RILLE I JUST TO YOU SWEETIE WILL TALK TOMORREW OK LOVE YSPEARING IPOSTED TO YOU ON THE OTHER THEARD
Wait a minute...I have avoided any s*** on this board. But I think that is unfair what you said, Kiwi.
If quitting and staying sober was easy, there WOULDN'T BE ANY DAMN SUPPORT GROUPS TO DO IT. I am not slamming you, I don't want any fights, but that wasn't nice.
I think that she can reach out for help. I don't think that cowgirl was attacking her. She was asking her down in her soul if she was ready...right? I honestly don't think that one is ready until they are done. She was being honest. She is kind on here, and she is asking for help.
For me, I wouldn't have quit if the pills made me feel good...None of us would, I am sure.
Y, hang in there. You will be ready and why don't you go to meetings? I swear, even if you are using, just go. You don't even have to talk. Just listen for the similarities. You will see hope there. And when you are ready, you will do it. And we will love you until then.
kerry
If quitting and staying sober was easy, there WOULDN'T BE ANY DAMN SUPPORT GROUPS TO DO IT. I am not slamming you, I don't want any fights, but that wasn't nice.
I think that she can reach out for help. I don't think that cowgirl was attacking her. She was asking her down in her soul if she was ready...right? I honestly don't think that one is ready until they are done. She was being honest. She is kind on here, and she is asking for help.
For me, I wouldn't have quit if the pills made me feel good...None of us would, I am sure.
Y, hang in there. You will be ready and why don't you go to meetings? I swear, even if you are using, just go. You don't even have to talk. Just listen for the similarities. You will see hope there. And when you are ready, you will do it. And we will love you until then.
kerry
I was really hoping someone would point that out. Kiwi has been judgemental and non supportive in a few threads I have read now. I am knew here and didn't feel it my place to say anything, but it's people like that who make new people to the board shy away from asking for help. Just glad I wasn't the only one thinking how rude that was.
Rilla
Rilla
Excuse me?
I'm not being rude? I'm not calling anyone names.
All I am doing is saying it how it is. This is reality after all. This is life, not some little mind game.
My personality is direct and to the point. I don't beat around the bush. I am here to help people as they have always helped me and for that I am greatful. But at the end of the day people are responsible for their actions....
I don't go out of my way to hurt anyone but at the sametime SOME people seem to blame everything else except themselves for their addictions and that's 100% wrong. Or some people even say they LIKE their addictions??? I mean come on???
I'm not gonna change for anyone. No one should. I'f I can help I will but if someone is lying or blaming someone/something they shouldn't i'll post my .02 cents too.
Bye
I'm not being rude? I'm not calling anyone names.
All I am doing is saying it how it is. This is reality after all. This is life, not some little mind game.
My personality is direct and to the point. I don't beat around the bush. I am here to help people as they have always helped me and for that I am greatful. But at the end of the day people are responsible for their actions....
I don't go out of my way to hurt anyone but at the sametime SOME people seem to blame everything else except themselves for their addictions and that's 100% wrong. Or some people even say they LIKE their addictions??? I mean come on???
I'm not gonna change for anyone. No one should. I'f I can help I will but if someone is lying or blaming someone/something they shouldn't i'll post my .02 cents too.
Bye
"Are you seriously a computer engineer?? You couldn't tell by the way you type and all your incomplete sentances "
You said this before you said anything else - that is rude and not your place to judge anyone on there capabilities because of how they type! I applaud you for your matter of fact personality, this just may not be the place for it at the cost of others fragile states. All I am asking you is to think about how people may take what you say before you type it. A lot of these people are on the brink of harming themselves and comments like the one you made above may not seem bad to you but may mean the world to them - OK
Thanks
Rilla
You said this before you said anything else - that is rude and not your place to judge anyone on there capabilities because of how they type! I applaud you for your matter of fact personality, this just may not be the place for it at the cost of others fragile states. All I am asking you is to think about how people may take what you say before you type it. A lot of these people are on the brink of harming themselves and comments like the one you made above may not seem bad to you but may mean the world to them - OK
Thanks
Rilla
