Well, it's not really mine..but maybe I can get some advice here. Three things.
First is one of my brothers. He has been taking Xanax for over 15 years....a week ago, I was with him and he told me his Doctor had at first refused to refill his prescription and he kind of freaked and the doctor refilled it but said it was the last time (and it is..I am sure). So he got his script and feels ok but I asked him what he planned on doing in 30 days when his scrip is up (right around Christmas) and he has no idea. I asked him if he wanted me to find some treatment for him and he said yes and when I did, he basically wrote it off..thinking he is going to be ok..well, I know he won't be..and nothing I say can make him see otherwise..and this guy saw what I went through when I quit Xanax..I'm pretty concerned..he takes more than I ever did and for much longer, so I know he is in for a pretty rough ride..I am afraid for him, his job..everything..I have to be invloved..he is my brother..I can't let him hang out in the wind like this but he won't listen or act and he certainly knows better..he's feeling confident because he has the drugs right now..in a couple more weeks.he won't..
The other is a friend of mine. Some might remembber me writing about this guy. I hadn't seen him in many years and he found me through a mutual friend. He was one of my best friends for a long time. Anyway, so again, last week, we were hanging out and ANOTHER brother of mine, who was there mentioned that at one time, I was addicted to Xanax and then to Vicodin (my brother is very descete..NOT..but more on that later)..anyway, he was here with his wife and she started asking questions and so I proceeded to talk about it for 20-30 minutes..and how strongly I felt about it and how wrong it was and how f***ed up it is..he was sitting there..and he was looking at me like I was from outer space or something..I thought he was being kind of judgemental or whatever..but I gave them the gory details..then he annouces out of no where that it's time for his medication and pulls out 7 7.5 Vicodins and a valium and swallows them right in front of me..now..it didn't trigger anything in me except to wonder what the hell was wrong with him..he told he had pain issues..he probably does..who knows..but to take that many is obviosuly a problem and to do it in front of a recovering addict demonstrates a lack of understanding on his part regarding the addictions he is actually in..then my brother tells him I get scripts from my doctor all the time that I don't fill and he says if I ever want to, I can get them filled and sell them to him..(like that will ever happen..no thanks)..THEN he tells me to ask my doctor for Oxy's..now this is just wacked..I like him a lot..he needs help though..I certainly don't want to sound preachy to him because if he is in pain, he is in pain, but he's an addict obviously and more out of control than he thinks..
And lastly, my discreet brothers wife is just about as discreet as him..hehe..but anyway, some people know I quit drinking a while back for health reasons and two things have happened since then that bugs me..one is whenever I go to his house (or he comes here) he asks me if it is ok if he has a beer..WTF do I care if he has a beer? It's never a problem with me..I don't care as ling as he doesn't get wasted and get in a car..but anyway..not real long ago, we were all together with a bunch of people and his wife annouces how PROUD she is of me that I have stopped drinking and to keep it up..blah blah blah..you know..what bugged me was she was totalyl drunk when she said it..hehe..but more so like it was ever some kind of problem to begin with, which it wasn't. I'm sure it stems from my Xanax addiction and subsequent detox and withdrawal but I felt kind of labeled...if you know what I mean..
Anyway..all these drugs and booze around and it never affected me for a second except make me concerned for people I care about. Is that weird and what do I do? Cutting them out of my life is in no way, shape or form and option. Chance of relapse- 0%
Danny, you know as well as I do that the first guy you talked about isn't being honest with his dr or you. I think it's irresponsible for that dr to just cut him loose with something that is so scary to cold turkey off of but again, this guy probably isn't being that honest with the dr.
Best gift you can give him is to tell it to him straight. Don't sugar coat it, tell him what's to come and then it's his call.
Best gift you can give him is to tell it to him straight. Don't sugar coat it, tell him what's to come and then it's his call.
Lisa, I did..in fact, he was there when I was going through it (thats nice..a Xanax addixt watching a Xanax addict quit..wonder how I ever did that..) and you know I was pretty loopy..he seems to think he is invincible or exempt or something..I know what is going to happen..around Christmas, he is going to freak and start going nuts..I tried to convince him to go into treatment now..the sooner the better but that fell on deaf ears..I guess I am in for a wonderful Christmas..I know he is..
Yes, Danny you are in a really tough stop with your brother. Xanax is powerful stuff. From all that I have heard it sounds much worse than coming off opiates, considering it can be life threatning.
You are doing the right thing by getting involved and I agree 100 percent that you could never just walk away from someone in need like this.
You sound like a really great guy, who really is trying to help.
Do you know how much he is taking per day? and how long the month's supply will last him? Does he buy if off the street as well?
You are doing the right thing by getting involved and I agree 100 percent that you could never just walk away from someone in need like this.
You sound like a really great guy, who really is trying to help.
Do you know how much he is taking per day? and how long the month's supply will last him? Does he buy if off the street as well?
Your friend could be my best friend, you brother my sister could fit there atleast that is what I see.
But see you lived it, as I watched it all the way to the end, that end.....that hell it becomes that no one seems to sees, wants to see, will allow themselves to see until it is basically done for them. Until they get that they are losing thier souls.
Different people, situations, but the same story.
What do you do, nothing as there really isn't anything anyone can do.
You love, be there, but they have to DO, they have to WANT to change, and they have to do all the work.
You opened the door with your brother when he is READY, he may come to you, then maybe you can steer him in the right direction but ultimately everything will be all him.
With your friend you did the same thing, opened the door. When he is READY he may come to you as well.
In it all you come first, always remember that...
Now the sil....she needs a b**** smacking....lol. Oh I could go on for hours about the most f*cked up things I have heard with my family. I always got why don't you drink, like it was stupid I didn't or that is so great that you don't drink.
I know my sisters seen the worst of me when they were young, thought it might be obvious why I didn't drink, and if I were to, you should see the f*cked up things that come out then. I have to laugh, cause see s*** like that is avoiding the obvious, and is way to much in that denial of sorts. She said what she did to compare you out. As she is not as bad as you were. It makes her feel better about herself. That is how she will keep herself chained. Is she an alcoholic Danny? Cause comparing out is a bad sign. My husband use to do that. Look at this one he is doing this, that. I always looked at is as a way of showing me how bad he really was, not who he was talking about......
Enjoy the day,
Love,
Tina
But see you lived it, as I watched it all the way to the end, that end.....that hell it becomes that no one seems to sees, wants to see, will allow themselves to see until it is basically done for them. Until they get that they are losing thier souls.
Different people, situations, but the same story.
What do you do, nothing as there really isn't anything anyone can do.
You love, be there, but they have to DO, they have to WANT to change, and they have to do all the work.
You opened the door with your brother when he is READY, he may come to you, then maybe you can steer him in the right direction but ultimately everything will be all him.
With your friend you did the same thing, opened the door. When he is READY he may come to you as well.
In it all you come first, always remember that...
Now the sil....she needs a b**** smacking....lol. Oh I could go on for hours about the most f*cked up things I have heard with my family. I always got why don't you drink, like it was stupid I didn't or that is so great that you don't drink.
I know my sisters seen the worst of me when they were young, thought it might be obvious why I didn't drink, and if I were to, you should see the f*cked up things that come out then. I have to laugh, cause see s*** like that is avoiding the obvious, and is way to much in that denial of sorts. She said what she did to compare you out. As she is not as bad as you were. It makes her feel better about herself. That is how she will keep herself chained. Is she an alcoholic Danny? Cause comparing out is a bad sign. My husband use to do that. Look at this one he is doing this, that. I always looked at is as a way of showing me how bad he really was, not who he was talking about......
Enjoy the day,
Love,
Tina
Java- No he doesn't get them off the street..his supply last 30 days exactly..I'm afraid he WILL try off the street or an on line pharm if he doesn't get a refill rather than detox and rehab..and that is a slippery slope obviously..
Hey Tina- Not sure if she is alcoholic but she enjoys her cocktails..could be but doubtful..just not diplomatic..thats for sure..it's like they walk on eggshells sometimes and other times it's "let the world know"...not that I am ashamed of anything but it's not something I would walk around bragging about..it bugs me because it's really no ones business and people who I barely know were there and they were all looking at me..very uncomfortable..like I needed a reason not to drink alcohol or something..I just kept my mouth shut and had another V-8 but I mentioned it to my brother and told him to knock it off..everyone there besides me was basicaly pretty wasted..I find it amusing because they walk and talk like idiots..I'm sure I was there once myself..
Oh, and another thing I forgot..back at the end of July, I was in the hospital and some friends came to see me and asked if I needed anything and told them to grab some stuff from my place..it turns out another one of my friends found a Vicodin script I had (in a pile of scripts that I never fill) and took it and filled it himself, under my name and my insurance..it was for 120 of them..that pissed me off too..he went to my local Walgreens..they know me there...so he had quite the party for himself..I haven't said anything but I probably should..he's a good friend though..they know I don't take the stuff and I wouldn't miss it but it still pisses me off
Hey Tina- Not sure if she is alcoholic but she enjoys her cocktails..could be but doubtful..just not diplomatic..thats for sure..it's like they walk on eggshells sometimes and other times it's "let the world know"...not that I am ashamed of anything but it's not something I would walk around bragging about..it bugs me because it's really no ones business and people who I barely know were there and they were all looking at me..very uncomfortable..like I needed a reason not to drink alcohol or something..I just kept my mouth shut and had another V-8 but I mentioned it to my brother and told him to knock it off..everyone there besides me was basicaly pretty wasted..I find it amusing because they walk and talk like idiots..I'm sure I was there once myself..
Oh, and another thing I forgot..back at the end of July, I was in the hospital and some friends came to see me and asked if I needed anything and told them to grab some stuff from my place..it turns out another one of my friends found a Vicodin script I had (in a pile of scripts that I never fill) and took it and filled it himself, under my name and my insurance..it was for 120 of them..that pissed me off too..he went to my local Walgreens..they know me there...so he had quite the party for himself..I haven't said anything but I probably should..he's a good friend though..they know I don't take the stuff and I wouldn't miss it but it still pisses me off
Anyway..all these drugs and booze around and it never affected me for a second except make me concerned for people I care about. Is that weird and what do I do? Cutting them out of my life is in no way, shape or form and option. Chance of relapse- 0%
you know what na says about people and places to avoid when using is involved and you say cutting them out your life is not an option... i understand that is diificult to do, and i have using friends that i just cant cut out of my life either, but what i do is never go to their homes where it triggers old memories of my using days at their home and when i want to see them, it has to be at my house and they are not allowed to use drugs or alcohol around me.
chance of relapse is never 0 % this disease is with us for life and so is the chance of relapse. your doing a great job bullwinkle k-9 lover
you know what na says about people and places to avoid when using is involved and you say cutting them out your life is not an option... i understand that is diificult to do, and i have using friends that i just cant cut out of my life either, but what i do is never go to their homes where it triggers old memories of my using days at their home and when i want to see them, it has to be at my house and they are not allowed to use drugs or alcohol around me.
chance of relapse is never 0 % this disease is with us for life and so is the chance of relapse. your doing a great job bullwinkle k-9 lover
he took 7..(seven )...7.5 vicodin and a valium..........at the same time?
I used to do that and more, Thumps. On a regular basis. Scary, I know.
Danny, if you are triggered around your brother, you have to take care of you first. Him second. People close to me abuse drugs and alcohol and there's only so much I can do for them or be around them. It's sad, but it's the way it is. If the situation were reversed, I would expect the same.
You're a good guy.
Lisa
Danny, if you are triggered around your brother, you have to take care of you first. Him second. People close to me abuse drugs and alcohol and there's only so much I can do for them or be around them. It's sad, but it's the way it is. If the situation were reversed, I would expect the same.
You're a good guy.
Lisa
Bullwinkle quotes-"Anyway..all these drugs and booze around and it never affected me for a second."
That scares me Danny.I think addiction can be very clever.It may give you that illusion,a false sense of security,and then BAM.
Putting yourself in the middle of that insanity is dangerous,no matter how long you've been clean.
You can't divorce you're family but you can set up some clear boundries.
I know you want to help but being in the same car on fire won't help you get people out.Your example of being sober and clean will shine through.They will know where to come for help.
Good Luck
That scares me Danny.I think addiction can be very clever.It may give you that illusion,a false sense of security,and then BAM.
Putting yourself in the middle of that insanity is dangerous,no matter how long you've been clean.
You can't divorce you're family but you can set up some clear boundries.
I know you want to help but being in the same car on fire won't help you get people out.Your example of being sober and clean will shine through.They will know where to come for help.
Good Luck
Danny,
Let's start with your brother. Is he able to get an appt with another doctor for xanax? One that will work out a taper schedule with him? How about an addiction specialist? That seems like the only thing left to do besides rehab or out-patient treatment of some kind.
I am sorry he is in this situation. Benzo withdrawl is pretty dangerous, as you know. He could have seizures. Let us know how that works out for him. I would tell him to start cutting back and make them last a little longer. Instead of taking 3 pills a day maybe he could cut back to 2 pills?
Next, your other brother volunteered you to be a drug dealer. LOL I am sorry but I had to laugh when I read that. You said your friend "then he annouces out of no where that it's time for his medication and pulls out 7 7.5 Vicodins and a valium and swallows them right in front of me..now..it didn't trigger anything in me except to wonder what the hell was wrong with him..
That is what I was thinking. How rude of him. I mean go in the bathroom and swallow your pills. He is in denial and was being very rude to do that in your face. Expecially after you told him your were a recoverying addict. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? GEEZ.
Nope there is NO way you can cut these people out of your life. You said there is 0% chance of relapse. So your stuck with them. It's your family-LOL What can you do?
Have a great Monday.
Let's start with your brother. Is he able to get an appt with another doctor for xanax? One that will work out a taper schedule with him? How about an addiction specialist? That seems like the only thing left to do besides rehab or out-patient treatment of some kind.
I am sorry he is in this situation. Benzo withdrawl is pretty dangerous, as you know. He could have seizures. Let us know how that works out for him. I would tell him to start cutting back and make them last a little longer. Instead of taking 3 pills a day maybe he could cut back to 2 pills?
Next, your other brother volunteered you to be a drug dealer. LOL I am sorry but I had to laugh when I read that. You said your friend "then he annouces out of no where that it's time for his medication and pulls out 7 7.5 Vicodins and a valium and swallows them right in front of me..now..it didn't trigger anything in me except to wonder what the hell was wrong with him..
That is what I was thinking. How rude of him. I mean go in the bathroom and swallow your pills. He is in denial and was being very rude to do that in your face. Expecially after you told him your were a recoverying addict. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? GEEZ.
Nope there is NO way you can cut these people out of your life. You said there is 0% chance of relapse. So your stuck with them. It's your family-LOL What can you do?
Have a great Monday.
I have to laugh also, people who know my husband has not drank in over 20 yrs still will offer him a beer. He will say ' what part of my 30 day stay' did you not get. lol
I don't blame them, they either forgot or they think he can have just one or two and he will be ok. Our friends drink around us, he races, nature of the beast, but It doesn't mean he has too, and he doesn't.
If alcohol seen on tv, in the store, it is everywhere doesn't trigger him nothing will.
He has simply chosen to not drink again. He reminds me a lot of you Danny.
I don't blame them, they either forgot or they think he can have just one or two and he will be ok. Our friends drink around us, he races, nature of the beast, but It doesn't mean he has too, and he doesn't.
If alcohol seen on tv, in the store, it is everywhere doesn't trigger him nothing will.
He has simply chosen to not drink again. He reminds me a lot of you Danny.
Lisa- Naw, it's not a trigger. The whole drug thing is around me all the time and I knew that when I started my sobriety. I have to much to lose with my kids and stuff if I get all stupid and relapsed.
Tim- Nope..can't divorce the family..I want to take my Xanax brother and wring his neck though..hehe...you know how it is..as long as you have the drug, you think it's going to be a piece of cake to quit because you're all brave and stuff and I know in a couple of weeks, he's going to be bouncing off the walls..I also noticed he has been taking a lot of time off from work..so that also worries me..I don't want this to affect his job, which as we all know, it certainly can..
Rae- Nope- No appointment..no chance..his only option I think would be rehab to help him stop..he is just to far along..15 years or so is a long time..he said he was going to cut back and taper himself, which is almost impossible using Xanax because of the half life..I suggested Valium and also sent him the Ashton Manual but like I said above..when using.."there is always tomorrow"..
Ya, my friend is in total denial..I think thats why his wife was so interested in what I had to say..she obviously knows there is a problem but he rationalizes it because he has some pain issues..well..nothing is so painful that you need 7 Vic's at one time..I told him he no longer even knows his true pain level and he laughed...plus a valium to round out that little cocktail..
I obviously can't divorce my family..we are all pretty tight...
Tim- Nope..can't divorce the family..I want to take my Xanax brother and wring his neck though..hehe...you know how it is..as long as you have the drug, you think it's going to be a piece of cake to quit because you're all brave and stuff and I know in a couple of weeks, he's going to be bouncing off the walls..I also noticed he has been taking a lot of time off from work..so that also worries me..I don't want this to affect his job, which as we all know, it certainly can..
Rae- Nope- No appointment..no chance..his only option I think would be rehab to help him stop..he is just to far along..15 years or so is a long time..he said he was going to cut back and taper himself, which is almost impossible using Xanax because of the half life..I suggested Valium and also sent him the Ashton Manual but like I said above..when using.."there is always tomorrow"..
Ya, my friend is in total denial..I think thats why his wife was so interested in what I had to say..she obviously knows there is a problem but he rationalizes it because he has some pain issues..well..nothing is so painful that you need 7 Vic's at one time..I told him he no longer even knows his true pain level and he laughed...plus a valium to round out that little cocktail..
I obviously can't divorce my family..we are all pretty tight...
Danny
It's possible your brother isn't worried about the doc cutting him off because he knows he can buy them on the street. Or he is happily living in denial. Or already has 2 or 3 other doctors writing him scripts.
It's possible your brother isn't worried about the doc cutting him off because he knows he can buy them on the street. Or he is happily living in denial. Or already has 2 or 3 other doctors writing him scripts.
Kat- He has no idea how to buy them off the street so yes, he's in happy denial I'm sure.
