My son will be 28 on October 14th.i know all of you have been through this pain in one form or another. I will try and keep it brief. He and our family have been struggling with his drug addiction since he was around 17. He has anxiety and depression,and told me his first experience with drugs was around age 17,when someone gave him a Xanax. He said one day several years later, someone suggested he try a Roxie because they were out of Xanax. This was around 2006-2008 when our town suffered from an Opiate epidemic, and young people began to die from mixing prescription drugs.In 2011, my son's addiction was so severe I tried to move to North Carolina to save him. You know that was a huge disaster. He returned on his own without me. He eventually overdosed, and had lost all signs of life and the paramedics had to revive him. He had no heartbeat and no pulse. My beautiful baby boy...my little ninja turtle tried to take his own life. He has hated life for a long time and tells us he only stays alive to keep me from dying inside. They saved his life that day, and I quit my job in NC, sold my home in Florida because I thought it would save his life. Our family moved him to the next town, did an intervention and got him into detox. I will leave out all the details that leads up to the current situation, It is the same struggle you have been through. Fast forward to today. He has been actively psychotic for a week. He finally admitted that he has been using Meth for 6 months, He has stolen from me again and is so lost we can't reach him...and I thought nothing could be worse than pills. HA!
My question is this...my son has always hated being alive. His father is mentally ill with a psychotic mood disorder, and my son is predisposed to mental health issues. He tells me he is staying alive for me. He says the only way he can tolerate life is high. "sobriety is not an option" Of course I would never tell him to kill himself, but I can't wrap my brain and heart around this suicidal stuff. Is it selfish of me to keep asking him to not die? How much of this is manipulation? It sounds so horrible to even ask this
I cant help you with the drug part as i am only just learning about this myself as my brother is in the early stages. but with depression i have mental illness and have been suicidal. i have been in and out of hospital many times.
when i get depressed i will feel a tension headache that is very painful. i will find myself pacing and angry and i will want to snap at everyone. i feel alone and so much pain i want it to end i just want help. i am stuck in my own world things give me no joy it just feels like a dream. i see my loved ones concerned and its like im in a cloud.
it still gets through to me that they care and i feel inside that i dont waant to be alone. but i cant express how i feel because all i can think about is myself and its a effort to not take it out on them. the thing is however much pain i felt i always knew that there where better days.
maybe i felt upset all the time maybe i didnt feel like living but the pain varried. some days i could play games and enjoy them. some days i could walk outside and see my friends. other days i couldnt bear to see anyone but i could still enjoy games. other days i may not be able to enjoy anything but i could still rest and eat and i didnt feel suicidal i had thoughts about death but not really like i wanted to do it.
perhaps dont say to your son dont die. but concentrate on reminding him that there are different levels of pain some more bearable then others and some days are good or great. concentrate on showing him what is good in life cause we have trouble seeing it. you need to be his possitive thoughts because we dont have them and thats how we get out of our illness.
you are not doing wrong by saying dont die but you need to show him theres a reason to live even it its just a nice meal in the day the little things help. i suggest you try mental health posts and do a bit of research of your own. it really helps
i hope i helped
starlia
when i get depressed i will feel a tension headache that is very painful. i will find myself pacing and angry and i will want to snap at everyone. i feel alone and so much pain i want it to end i just want help. i am stuck in my own world things give me no joy it just feels like a dream. i see my loved ones concerned and its like im in a cloud.
it still gets through to me that they care and i feel inside that i dont waant to be alone. but i cant express how i feel because all i can think about is myself and its a effort to not take it out on them. the thing is however much pain i felt i always knew that there where better days.
maybe i felt upset all the time maybe i didnt feel like living but the pain varried. some days i could play games and enjoy them. some days i could walk outside and see my friends. other days i couldnt bear to see anyone but i could still enjoy games. other days i may not be able to enjoy anything but i could still rest and eat and i didnt feel suicidal i had thoughts about death but not really like i wanted to do it.
perhaps dont say to your son dont die. but concentrate on reminding him that there are different levels of pain some more bearable then others and some days are good or great. concentrate on showing him what is good in life cause we have trouble seeing it. you need to be his possitive thoughts because we dont have them and thats how we get out of our illness.
you are not doing wrong by saying dont die but you need to show him theres a reason to live even it its just a nice meal in the day the little things help. i suggest you try mental health posts and do a bit of research of your own. it really helps
i hope i helped
starlia
Hello susi:
I was a psyche ward suicidal hopeless drunk/addict for years and came to recovery in 1989.
I drove into the recovery home driveway with a gun to my head and went in to hear what they had to say as I had nothing to lose. I was 45 yrs old..... I am 70 today. It works !!
Here is a copy of AA's HOW IT WORKS .. substitute your drug of choice where it says alcohol.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10..._howitworks.pdf
I committed to AA/NA the best I could (I didn't drink/use and I went to meetings) and things slowly got better as described in AA's THE PROMISES http://aawadistrict46.weebly.com/th...ses-of-a-a.html
I have come to see, in my case at least, that recovery is not for those that need it and not for those that want it .. but for those that DO it.
Your son is almost 28 now and on his own. It is up to him to read HOW IT WORKS and commit or not.
Al-Anon and Narc-Anon would help you with your life. They are in your local phone book.
All the best.
Bob R
I was a psyche ward suicidal hopeless drunk/addict for years and came to recovery in 1989.
I drove into the recovery home driveway with a gun to my head and went in to hear what they had to say as I had nothing to lose. I was 45 yrs old..... I am 70 today. It works !!
Here is a copy of AA's HOW IT WORKS .. substitute your drug of choice where it says alcohol.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10..._howitworks.pdf
I committed to AA/NA the best I could (I didn't drink/use and I went to meetings) and things slowly got better as described in AA's THE PROMISES http://aawadistrict46.weebly.com/th...ses-of-a-a.html
I have come to see, in my case at least, that recovery is not for those that need it and not for those that want it .. but for those that DO it.
Your son is almost 28 now and on his own. It is up to him to read HOW IT WORKS and commit or not.
Al-Anon and Narc-Anon would help you with your life. They are in your local phone book.
All the best.
Bob R
Ditto to Papa Bear.
I have known addicts who have gone to that point as Papa Bear and got into recovery. I have also known addicts who get to that point and gave in to suicide.
Your son is now 28, knows he has mental illness/addictions. What decisions he makes is on him. Take care and live YOUR life. Alanon was a great educational tool for me and my addict daughter.
Good Luck
I have known addicts who have gone to that point as Papa Bear and got into recovery. I have also known addicts who get to that point and gave in to suicide.
Your son is now 28, knows he has mental illness/addictions. What decisions he makes is on him. Take care and live YOUR life. Alanon was a great educational tool for me and my addict daughter.
Good Luck
I understand where you are. I have two sons, one is an alcoholic and the youngest has chosen methamphetamine, thank goodness never injecting anything. My youngest has been incarcerated at least 1/2 his life and I have also been through hell and back. It is a roller coaster ride for us moms so hang on and continue praying and loving them. Joining Al anon may be something to help you. We just started attending it as we are at the end of our rope with this son. I love him but emotionally and mentally neither his step father nor I can handle his extreme emotional junk anymore, verbally abusing others and blaming others. Check out Al anon and another suggestion to meet with someone at your church or find a loving church. They also offer help too.
I know quite a bit about depression.
I have this in my genes and we have quite a few suicide in the family.
I am not sure your son is trying to manipulate you.
He probably really does not really enjoy being in this world and this is whay he takes drugs to escape or self medicate.
The turth is that no one can hep us really.
I am sure that he must appreciate your love and if he did not have this he would even feel worse.
I think that the only way to change is to get tired of being in that situation and the change comes from within.
Of course there is always hope but it take a great deal of work and will power.
A person must find a purpose for living.
I am not sure if he is open to this but maybe he needs to find a good therapist and also a good doctor who can diagnose him.
Sometimes the right medications can help for some disorders such as Bipolar....
You can only try to direct him but the effort must come from him.
There is no way we can stop a person from taking their lives.
I have been there and even though I had all the support I could get at the time I did not want to be here.
I remember the only thing that helped me is that I would pray a lot and also tried to go to support groups....
Never had an addiction but I have been suicidal and very depressed.
I wish you and your son all the best.
I have this in my genes and we have quite a few suicide in the family.
I am not sure your son is trying to manipulate you.
He probably really does not really enjoy being in this world and this is whay he takes drugs to escape or self medicate.
The turth is that no one can hep us really.
I am sure that he must appreciate your love and if he did not have this he would even feel worse.
I think that the only way to change is to get tired of being in that situation and the change comes from within.
Of course there is always hope but it take a great deal of work and will power.
A person must find a purpose for living.
I am not sure if he is open to this but maybe he needs to find a good therapist and also a good doctor who can diagnose him.
Sometimes the right medications can help for some disorders such as Bipolar....
You can only try to direct him but the effort must come from him.
There is no way we can stop a person from taking their lives.
I have been there and even though I had all the support I could get at the time I did not want to be here.
I remember the only thing that helped me is that I would pray a lot and also tried to go to support groups....
Never had an addiction but I have been suicidal and very depressed.
I wish you and your son all the best.
