Hello everyone. So my twin sister suffers from chronic pain and has been taking vicodin since she was 16, as well as an array of other prescribed drugs for various things like anxiety/depression. She has tried pretty much everything for pain management but the only thing that takes the edge off is vicodin. We have been trying to ween her off of it for almost a year now with ups and downs but no major improvements. We are still trying experimental pain management treatments. We are 21 years old and we just moved in together. I take care of her and I keep her meds because she has a history of abusing them, taking too many each day, then going through withdrawals because she doesn't have enough pills to last her until the next refill. She is physically disabled, unable to drive because she had a seizure recently, and very depressed. Last night I got home and my room was ransacked from her looking for her pills that I have to keep hidden, she found them and took some of them. She has not been her usual very bright and logical self lately and I know its because her addiction has taken over her mind and body. Her emotions and moods are all over the place with major ups and downs. There are a lot of times when she doesn't really make sense, especially when it comes to her trying to negotiate her meds with me. I suppose I'm just looking for any advice at all that anybody feels is relevant. I'm just a young woman and I don't really know what I'm doing when it comes to this situation. I hope I've provided enough information but if not, feel free to ask any questions. This is my first time seeking any help from an outside source regarding my twin's addiction and how to handle it. My long term ideal goal is to someday see her happy and not dependent on vicodin. I'm a naturally kind and trusting person and unfortunately I know that she uses that to her advantage in manipulating me. I want to help her get clean, take care of her, and be firm while still maintaining our relationship. I am terrified that this will effect our twin bond and possible ruin our relationship. This is a lot of responsibility for someone my age and I am feeling overwhelmed. Maybe I should go to counselling or we should go together sometimes? She just started counselling again. Any advice is very appreciated. I just don't really know what I'm doing and I want to be the best sister and caretaker that I can be for her, even if it involves tough love (which I am terrible at).
Hi. First I just want to say that I understand so much of what you are going through. My mother abuses prescription drugs and gets a disability check .. She gets pain pills, anxiety pills, depression pills, sleeping pills, on and on.. Mom runs out of her pills also and has seizures sometimes from xanax withdrawal.. She has over dosed.. Been admitted to mental facilities.. My grandmother currently rations moms pills out to her to try and keep her from abusing..(It doesn't work)
. I have begged and cried.. Nothing helps.. At the moment we aren't speaking at all and she doesn't see me or her grandkids.. Its the only way to keep from arguing with her.. And driving myself crazy (which only half way works.. I'm still out of my mind with worry) the problem with trying to help someone so very close to you (like a twin or a mother) is that they know you so well.. They know exactly how to make you feel guilty and how to manipulate you.. And the problem with trying to help someone who has pills prescribed to them is that, even though they know they are wrong for abusing them and they know deep down they have a problem.. They also feel justified.. "The Dr gave me these pills.. I need them.. I'm better than a common drug addict." My mom flies off the handle if you even insinuate that she is an addict.. Its exhausting! I know you came here for advice because you love her and you are desperate.. You see the person you once knew so well changing before your eyes and it is terrifying.. I wish I had answers to give you but unfortunately I haven't found them myself.. All I know is you can't MAKE an addict better.. You can't hide her pills and hover over her.. You are only driving yourself crazy and she will get her fix regardless.. She has to want to get better.. You can't do it for her.. I know this isn't what you came here looking for but its all I know. The people on this site will always be here to give any advice we can and if nothing else, relate to your pain.. Please keep us updated on your story.. Best of luck to you and your sister.
. I have begged and cried.. Nothing helps.. At the moment we aren't speaking at all and she doesn't see me or her grandkids.. Its the only way to keep from arguing with her.. And driving myself crazy (which only half way works.. I'm still out of my mind with worry) the problem with trying to help someone so very close to you (like a twin or a mother) is that they know you so well.. They know exactly how to make you feel guilty and how to manipulate you.. And the problem with trying to help someone who has pills prescribed to them is that, even though they know they are wrong for abusing them and they know deep down they have a problem.. They also feel justified.. "The Dr gave me these pills.. I need them.. I'm better than a common drug addict." My mom flies off the handle if you even insinuate that she is an addict.. Its exhausting! I know you came here for advice because you love her and you are desperate.. You see the person you once knew so well changing before your eyes and it is terrifying.. I wish I had answers to give you but unfortunately I haven't found them myself.. All I know is you can't MAKE an addict better.. You can't hide her pills and hover over her.. You are only driving yourself crazy and she will get her fix regardless.. She has to want to get better.. You can't do it for her.. I know this isn't what you came here looking for but its all I know. The people on this site will always be here to give any advice we can and if nothing else, relate to your pain.. Please keep us updated on your story.. Best of luck to you and your sister.
