I went to a meeting about two hours ago. Different part of town, different group (smoking--~gasp~), different time of day/night. I just felt I needed a meeting. It was my first time at that meeting and I've been going to meetings for almost a year. I didn't know anybody. It was un-nerving--almost as much so as going to my FIRST meeting long ago. I'd forgotten that sense of not knowing--the anxiety of new faces. Yep, even after going to meetings every single day for almost a year, I was a bit anxious--but I did it. And the sense of ease was just the same as it was the first day. Sort of a nice, refreshing, new look at the same thing. It's scary, but its SOOO worth it if I'm Honest, Open and Willing. Looking for the similarities rather than the differences...
Thanks.
When I try out a new meeting I feel the same way! My head starts thinking, will they think I'm a newcomer, will they think I'm a visitor, will they think I'm on a court card....will they think, think, think, oh brother.......it's all about me, me, me...then my Sponsor says "its none of your business what anybody else thinks about you"...........not that that's your experience, but it got me to thinking ~ LOL!
Stinkin' Thinkin' Leads to Drinkin'...
In addition to partying/drinking, I was always very good at learning quickly. I have a number of degrees as a result because, as I found out in my youth, I couldn't compete with skills of craftsmanship, or working with my hands, or athletic prowess. Thinking was something I was good AT! Now, someone says, "You think too much," and I just have to laugh. My BEST thinking got me where I am today....
Think too much, drink too much.
EDIT: I just remembered what a person said at the meeting last night. Step #1 was being discussed and they were talking about finally accepting the powerlessness of the disease. They said that they worked the program and stopped buying self-help books. THAT was poignant, I thought, because that "hole" that couldn't be filled has been completed for me, too, in the simplicity of The Program of AA.
In addition to partying/drinking, I was always very good at learning quickly. I have a number of degrees as a result because, as I found out in my youth, I couldn't compete with skills of craftsmanship, or working with my hands, or athletic prowess. Thinking was something I was good AT! Now, someone says, "You think too much," and I just have to laugh. My BEST thinking got me where I am today....
Think too much, drink too much.
EDIT: I just remembered what a person said at the meeting last night. Step #1 was being discussed and they were talking about finally accepting the powerlessness of the disease. They said that they worked the program and stopped buying self-help books. THAT was poignant, I thought, because that "hole" that couldn't be filled has been completed for me, too, in the simplicity of The Program of AA.
