Hi, I just recently retired from the Air Force after 28 years. I have two grown boys that live near me in Ohio and they are doing great. My wife now, who grew up with me in Ohio, was living out in Nevada when we met up again 6 years ago on Facebook. Long story short she moved here and left her two boys at their dads in the hope they would move here one day. They were 12 and 16 at the time. But now they are 18 and 22. The oldest was in a bunch of trouble and did move here from Nevada to live with us for 2 years. He straightened up, moved back to Nevada and is doing good. The problem is her 18 year old. He is on meth bad. Shooting up, doing other drugs. Lying, stealing from everyone he knows, manipulating his dad and grandmother out there in Nevada. She blames me for convincing her to move her 6 years ago. I thought they would eventually move here for her but they didn't. The boys dad and grandmother enable the 18 year old. They feed him and help him with money. He doesn't work, dropped out of school, disappears for days on end and then sleeps for days upon his return.
Now she says that we have to move back to Nevada. So she can be close and try to help her son. I am convinced there is nothing we can do for him out there. All his triggers and friends are there. His enabling dad and grandmother are there. The only way I can help him is if he comes and stays here in Ohio. He is here now for Thanksgiving. Everyone I know says don't move out to Nevada (All of my family including her parents). He will only steal you blind and cause nothing but heartache. He will manipulate his mother and the whole move will be a financial ruin. My wife implies to me that we move or we divorce. I don't know what to do. Any Advice?
This is a topic with your wife that you can not win. She has guilt that has nothing to do with you. Love her and keep telling her it is not her fault. Encourage her to go to Al non. I to have children from a previous marriage and they went off the rails due to no fault of ours. It has taken years for there step dad and me to accept this. There is always hope but she will not be able to save him. You need to be strong enough to save yourselves.
Someone told me every addict takes 10 people hostage with them.
Get her to read Let me fall by myself on the left hand side under the heading Most Popular Topic's it has helped me.
Take care of your wife and yourself.
Someone told me every addict takes 10 people hostage with them.
Get her to read Let me fall by myself on the left hand side under the heading Most Popular Topic's it has helped me.
Take care of your wife and yourself.
