before three days ago i had been clean for just over three weeks.
three days ago one of my close friends [who is still heavily using] showed up at my place because her parents kicked her out of her house.
since she has been here, i have used again.
i have made the decision NOT to use from this point forward, but whenever i am around her, she makes me feel like i want to.
i don't know what to do.
i am torn!
she is such a close friend and i don't want to turn her away because she might end up on the street or something, but at the same time, she is keeping me from being one hundred percent clean.
if i let her stay, and she stops using, she will be going through very bad withdrawals for about a week, and i don't have the time to look after her. if she doesn't stop using, and she stays, i am afraid that i might start using with her again.
what should i do????
tell her to leave or let her stay?
any thoughts would help me SOOOOO much right now.
cheers
amnesia.
My opinion
Help your friend find somewhere else to stay, you will use together again it is inevitable. I hate saying this but you have to be selfish to beat this thing
Neon
Help your friend find somewhere else to stay, you will use together again it is inevitable. I hate saying this but you have to be selfish to beat this thing
Neon
amnesia
The only people I am friends with now do not drink or drug. I have to worry about myself and my sobriety first. I had to move something like 1500 miles from my home to get away from my friends because EVERYONE I knew abused pills. Unfortunately the move didn't work and I continued using for a while but that's another story. My point is I had to change people, places and things until I was secure enough in my sobriety to be around triggers again and if I knew someone was using pills that was the only thing on my mind. That doesn't happen today but in early sobriety I am sure I would have done the same thing you did. Let your friend go until you are well enough to offer help. There is a saying in AA "you can't give away what you haven't got" which means basically if you aren't clean, you can't help another get clean. Sometimes we have to put ourselves first.
12 stepper
The only people I am friends with now do not drink or drug. I have to worry about myself and my sobriety first. I had to move something like 1500 miles from my home to get away from my friends because EVERYONE I knew abused pills. Unfortunately the move didn't work and I continued using for a while but that's another story. My point is I had to change people, places and things until I was secure enough in my sobriety to be around triggers again and if I knew someone was using pills that was the only thing on my mind. That doesn't happen today but in early sobriety I am sure I would have done the same thing you did. Let your friend go until you are well enough to offer help. There is a saying in AA "you can't give away what you haven't got" which means basically if you aren't clean, you can't help another get clean. Sometimes we have to put ourselves first.
12 stepper
Who is more important? You or your friend? I realize how difficult this may be for you........but you must put YOUR recovery first.......
Hugs, Russell
Hugs, Russell
Your own recovery, at the end of the day, will help your freind more. I know this is hurting you and I am so sorry
peace and love
Paul
peace and love
Paul
thanks to everyone who replied to my post.
i know that i should just tell my friend to leave, but that is SOOO much easier said than done.
she's not here now, i think she went to work for the evening.
work is an hour of hitch hiking away, so maybe she will be gone for the night and i will be able to think about all of this a little more.
it makes me sad that i could be this weak.
that something as simple as an old friend could push me to do ANY kind of drug again, let alone THAT drug.
that's how it goes though, right.
thanks again
happy sailing
=)
amnesia
i know that i should just tell my friend to leave, but that is SOOO much easier said than done.
she's not here now, i think she went to work for the evening.
work is an hour of hitch hiking away, so maybe she will be gone for the night and i will be able to think about all of this a little more.
it makes me sad that i could be this weak.
that something as simple as an old friend could push me to do ANY kind of drug again, let alone THAT drug.
that's how it goes though, right.
thanks again
happy sailing
=)
amnesia
amnesia.
My partner is an addict with 30 days clean time after abusing for 10 years. To stay clean she has to be totally focused on recovery, This involves her being incredibly selfish. This is the way it has to be.
Tell your friend to leave. Tou will be able to help her more when you have substantial clean time. Be a role model, not an accomplice.
My partner is an addict with 30 days clean time after abusing for 10 years. To stay clean she has to be totally focused on recovery, This involves her being incredibly selfish. This is the way it has to be.
Tell your friend to leave. Tou will be able to help her more when you have substantial clean time. Be a role model, not an accomplice.
Dear Amnesia, First of all...it is NOT selfish to want to stay alive and for someone in recovery, it truly is a matter of life or death. Your friend will understand (maybe not at first) but in the end....she will. You will lose your self respect and your sobriety if you allow her to hang out with you. None of us are so strong that we can be around someone using and not be tempted and/or give in. You certainly do not need this so early in your recovery. Help her by finding her somewhere else to go. And don't feel guilty...if she is a friend for real, she will understand that you had to do this. Good luck to you and to her...God Bless!
Amnesia
If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting. The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
12 stepper
If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting. The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
12 stepper
