Hi - I'm a 25 year old woman who just found out my 26 year old boyfriend has a problem with percocets. I knew he would take them evey once in a while (maybe once or twice a month recreationally), but I had no idea that there was a problem. This has apparently been going of for more that 1.5 years. He said he kept this from me because he was ashamed of himself and he didn't want me to be any more stressed out than I already am... But, now his secret his out. He was eating around 5 percocets a day (not sure of dosage). He has admitted his problem and has made an appointement with a doctor to seek treatment. And, he has tried to decrease his dosage on his own and is experience withdrawal symptoms (anxiety, shakiness, short temper, etc). I need some advice on how to deal with him. I want him to know that I am here for him and that I will do anything I can to help him. I've told him this but want to actually show him. I've found his withdrawal behavior to be very hard to deal with. I don't want to hurt his feelings and make things worse. Does anyone have any advice for how to effectively and successfully deal with him. THANKS!!!
Well, your at the right place. Welcome!
I want to say that your an awesome person
for taking it so well. Just know it's not your
fault in anyway. I am on both sides of this.
I am a recovering addict and my husband
is an addict/acoholic. Your support is a
huge asset to his recovery. My best advice
is now that you know stay as involved as you
can. I would go with to the Dr's app. with him.
I would ask randomly how many pills did you take?
How are you doing with the pills? It was hard for me
to start talking about it. So when I was asked it was
a relief cause I would just let it all come out and was
happy about being honest.
I want to say that your an awesome person
for taking it so well. Just know it's not your
fault in anyway. I am on both sides of this.
I am a recovering addict and my husband
is an addict/acoholic. Your support is a
huge asset to his recovery. My best advice
is now that you know stay as involved as you
can. I would go with to the Dr's app. with him.
I would ask randomly how many pills did you take?
How are you doing with the pills? It was hard for me
to start talking about it. So when I was asked it was
a relief cause I would just let it all come out and was
happy about being honest.
Thank you! I understand that this is not going to be an easy time for him or me. I am trying to prepare myself, but I've never dealt with this before and to be honest, the whole situation scares the hell out of me because I don't know what to expect...! For example, last night I was talking to him, and I asked that he be open and honest with me about his situation and that he keep me updated on his "progress" and/or "relapses". He got a little mad because I used the term "relapse". He said, "don't say relapse, because that's not what it is". I tried to explain that because I'm not educated on this issue, I may not always say the "correct" thing and I may not always know what I'm talking about at all, but that ultimately I just wanted to help. Then, he apologized and said that the withdrawal was causing him to have a short temper and to be on edge, which I understand. I don't want to come off like I'm trying to be some therapists - which I'm clealy not. I just want him to feel comfortable talking to me about it in a boyfriend/girlfriend way ...
just as he needs to take this one day at a time as to not be overwhelmed right now.. just concentrating on just not using and waiting to feel better... you need to do the same in that you need to be there without saying a whole lot... just let him know that you expect.. ( dont use that word harshly of course..) honesty with him and that you want to be educated about this.. that you are in this with him and will be there when he needs you... the w/d is the part were you really cant do much for him and talking really esp for men isnt what is on there minds... tell him that if he wants to use to feel better to talk to you or someone first... that should be the first priority....
Has he looked into meetings... how bout you..?.. alanon meetings for the spouses or significant others of addicts/alcoholics...
This isnt gonna be easy for you or him.. just hang in there and know that he will be flooded with alot of emotion that he had numbed for a while... just be matter of fact about his disease and when he shares.. being to judgemental or too babyfied takes away the male dignity and ego.. ( at least that was what was shared by the men in rehab...)
Good Luck... oh and ask him what he needs... it is new to him too
Teresa
Has he looked into meetings... how bout you..?.. alanon meetings for the spouses or significant others of addicts/alcoholics...
This isnt gonna be easy for you or him.. just hang in there and know that he will be flooded with alot of emotion that he had numbed for a while... just be matter of fact about his disease and when he shares.. being to judgemental or too babyfied takes away the male dignity and ego.. ( at least that was what was shared by the men in rehab...)
Good Luck... oh and ask him what he needs... it is new to him too
Teresa
Thanks again - I needed some insight from an outside party (if that is possible...?). Today was the first time I posted, but you'll probably be hearing from me more often as I embark on this difficult journey. I don't think I can do it by myself; I'm going to look into the meetings for spouses/sig others this week - that hadn't even occurred to me.
