my step son uses weed almost every day.he will not look for a job.he tries to make money by making music and trying to sell crack.he is not making much at either.he is 25 years old.his mother seems to let him go like this.he will not do any thing around the house.take out garbage,feed his 4dogs,or buy food for themnor does he contribute any money to the house for bills.his mother fusses at him but takes no action. ineed some advice. ihink the weed has him messed up where he has no motivation to be responsible.please reply.
Ransby, I suggest you also post this on the friends and family forum. Your step son's behaviour certainly appears to be consistent with what used to be called the "anti motivational syndrome" associated with pot smokers. If he is smoking crack, then he is on an entirely different and more serious level of addiction.
The people on the friends and family forum are great at discussing how to set limts around the bad behaviour of someone who is dependent on drugs (i.e., an addict). Addicts rarely seek help until they become so uncomforable in their addictive behaviour as to be forced to look at it and want to change it. Even then it often takes countless failed attempts to quit their substance of choice. If the addict is into the deeper stages of addiction (as was I when I quit) he can also expect some pretty turbulent times in the beginning while he learns to live without the dope.
No one can force an addict to go through this process. All we can to protect ourselves and avoid enabling the addict. Needless to say, this can also cause some serious collateral damage in your marriage. I am out of my depth on matters relating to friends and family and have probably said too much already. Best to get some advice from those who really know the lay of the land, over on the F&F board.
Good luck.
August
The people on the friends and family forum are great at discussing how to set limts around the bad behaviour of someone who is dependent on drugs (i.e., an addict). Addicts rarely seek help until they become so uncomforable in their addictive behaviour as to be forced to look at it and want to change it. Even then it often takes countless failed attempts to quit their substance of choice. If the addict is into the deeper stages of addiction (as was I when I quit) he can also expect some pretty turbulent times in the beginning while he learns to live without the dope.
No one can force an addict to go through this process. All we can to protect ourselves and avoid enabling the addict. Needless to say, this can also cause some serious collateral damage in your marriage. I am out of my depth on matters relating to friends and family and have probably said too much already. Best to get some advice from those who really know the lay of the land, over on the F&F board.
Good luck.
August
