My son is 23 and a heroin addict. He recently went through a program and was very successful, however, within the past 2 wks has relapsed. He refuses to go for help, wants to detox by himself, has been very remorseful today about his behavior. I am trying not to be an enabler, stopped giving him money, etc. I don't know what to do to encourage medical attention for his withdrawl. He overdosed a week ago and in October. This last time required cpr, there may not be a thrid. As a parent, what can I do to help convince him to go for treatment. This is something he is not going to be able to do on his own. Help!
oh dear, you cant convince him of anything, it is sad but he has to make his own decision the only thing you can do is you, it sounds like a flip statement but honestly its true, immerse yourself in books like melody beatty's codependent no more...as a parent you feel helpless and want to fix it, y0u cant...do not enable and honestly watch y0ur stuff, money, jewelry it will be gone
He's only at the beginning of his journey, detox is actually the easy part...staying clean is the hard part. If he is not involved in a program of some sort, or in therapy with an addiction specialist, or taking care of his spiritual fitness, he will find it difficult to stay on the right road. This is not a journey for wimps and walking the road alone is tough. You can't make him do anything, but you need to understand that he has altered his brain chemistry and his brain sends him all kinds of false information telling him what his 'needs' are. Take care of you and let him take care of him...there isn't much you can do anyway, except love him and offer emotional support. Have firm boundaries about what's okay and what's not and then stick to them...don't be a doormat. He is very capable of reaching for and having recovery if that's what he wants.
Peace ~ MomNMore
Peace ~ MomNMore
Hi,
I am currently going through the exact same thing, my 29 yr old son is an Oxy addict and I recently allowed him in to my home to detox. It was the worst 10 days of my life! I sit here today and wonder why I actually allowed him to come here and almost die in my home.
Then I find out yesterday, that he has relapsed! He spent 2 wks here, went home and right back to using!
So, I too am left wondering what to do! But there is one thing I do know for sure... that I can't save my son! As much as I love him and want to help him (or should I say enable him) I can't help someone who refuses to help themselves. I learned more about myself in the 2 weeks that he was here, then I have learned about his drug addiction for the past 12 yrs.
I know now, that I can no longer go on allowing his addiction have a hold on my life, because he loves drugs more than anything else in his life!
I truly do feel your pain, and can understand some of what you are going through, but the bottom line here is, as terrible as this sounds,You cannot save or help your son, if you let yourself crash and burn, (I almost did), you will be no good for yourself or the rest of your family!
I am recently new here and reached out for similar help, I got some good advice from this site and you have come to the right place! I realized that I wasn't alone and neither are you!
I would be happy to offer any advice I can :)
ConcernedMom
I am currently going through the exact same thing, my 29 yr old son is an Oxy addict and I recently allowed him in to my home to detox. It was the worst 10 days of my life! I sit here today and wonder why I actually allowed him to come here and almost die in my home.
Then I find out yesterday, that he has relapsed! He spent 2 wks here, went home and right back to using!
So, I too am left wondering what to do! But there is one thing I do know for sure... that I can't save my son! As much as I love him and want to help him (or should I say enable him) I can't help someone who refuses to help themselves. I learned more about myself in the 2 weeks that he was here, then I have learned about his drug addiction for the past 12 yrs.
I know now, that I can no longer go on allowing his addiction have a hold on my life, because he loves drugs more than anything else in his life!
I truly do feel your pain, and can understand some of what you are going through, but the bottom line here is, as terrible as this sounds,You cannot save or help your son, if you let yourself crash and burn, (I almost did), you will be no good for yourself or the rest of your family!
I am recently new here and reached out for similar help, I got some good advice from this site and you have come to the right place! I realized that I wasn't alone and neither are you!
I would be happy to offer any advice I can :)
ConcernedMom
I appreciate everyone's advice. I am trying to go day by day. This addiction is consuming me, finding it difficult to focus at work, worrying every day what is going to happen next, afraid my son is going to die. Each day is a blessing, watching the struggle is so painful because I want to help, but know this is something he must do on his own. I tell him each day, when he is ready for help, let me know and I will be there in a heartbeat, but most of all how much I love him. Other than that, I don't know what else to do. I am going to get some books on addiction and begin my journey of recovery. I am grateful to hear from others going through this same heartbreaking journey. May God bless you all.
I broke out of that mode by going back to doing things I liked doing. If you don't you will make yourself sick. You might find help from a support group as well.
habits are difficult to break, and I am talking about family, not the addict. the first few times I started doing mundane things like a movie, or shopping or out of town for a day I was panicked..you don't realize the damage mentally and physically that has been happening to you..force yourself, break your own pattern of destruction MomG mom of a heroin addict that is currently in prison
