She is 45 yrs old, I live in an other state I want to help her the best I can. Before this started she was a very good Mother, caring and loving to anyone in need of help. Now just this week she was locked up for selling her zanx. After talking with her husband, her decline started in 2010. She would call me telling me that her husband would never give her money for things around the house, food, etc. A few years ago she called wanting to borrow $150.00 to pay a traffic ticket, I didn't send it to her. Any way she was locked up 4 times last year for driving with out a DL. and once this year. I did not know about any of it. Her husband told me that he did give her the money to pay the ticket, but instead she made a payment plan, then didn't make the payments.
I called her yesterday to talk to her, got vicemail. She sent me a text message telling me that she's not using and she will call me today. I know she is using something, this beautiful 45 yr old looks to be 65, teeth rottening out , and blaming everything on her husband or some one else. I don't know how to help her. Her Mother passed away in 2008, I'm the only family member outside of her kids and husband that she has. Her younger children are about 13 and 14, they need their mother, not this person she has turned into. Please help me help her
Please look up Al-Anon and/or Nar-Anon in your telephone book or on-line and get to their local meetings. They are friends/family of alcoholics/addicts and they will be able to show you what you can fix and what you can't.
All the best.
Bob R
All the best.
Bob R
In short, you really can't help someone who doesn't want help. The nar-anon meetings are an excellent source of education with understanding people who may be able to help you realize that you can drive yourself insane with the sickness of addiction. I found out that being concerned about a loved one who has an addiction problem becomes a huge problem for yourself. The more you try to "fix" things, the more you will feel helpless. You can only support someone so much after they want to be in recovery. The addict needs to admit the problem and want to stop living the lifestyle they are living. Take the time to read and you will see there are many who have the same unanswered questions with no reasonable answers.
