Need Help, The Love On My Life Is Using?

Families / Partners of Addicts
1
So I met my boyfriend and instantly we fell in love but he told me he had a past with the wrong people and heroin, and told me he went out of town to get clean, and that he is clean and doesn't even smoke weed. We got to know each other better and better and we fell in love. He wanted commitment very quickly and was all on board for a relationship. All my friends thought i was crazy considering his past with heroin and he didn't graduate high school and still lives with his dad. They told me I deserve so much better and that a heroin addiction never goes away. Our second date I got in the car and I was looking for a cig burner to charge a phone, so I looked in the center compartment, and I saw a used spoon and needles. I asked him and he said those were left in his car from a friend he was giving a ride to, and I told him that he shouldn't even be around those people if they use heroin. I was sketched out but I believed him because he was too good to be true. He told me I was perfect and how he wants a good girl like me to keep him in line and to be around instead of his drug addict friends. We kept dating then I found weed in his room and he admitted to smoking weed which I don't have a big problem with, but on our first dates he told me he didn't smoke? But oh well. He gets angry very quickly when I approach him with suspicion about drugs, so i just ignored the fact that my friends were telling me not to go for it or ask him about it. I stayed a week with him at his house, and he wanted to have a baby with me and wants to marry me and move in permanently. He dragged me along to go to LA with his druggie friend to go "pick up something" but neither of them would elaborate what we were doing there. They were being really shady and on the phone constantly with some random guy, and I knew the friend was going to pick up drugs. We went to the slums of LA and to a warehouse with graffiti all over and my boyfriend stayed in the car with me while the friend went in. I just wonder if my boyfriend isn't using then why does he want to be involved in shady deals? I would be at home and he would leave saying he has to go give someone a ride somewhere, and leave for a few hours, so I read his texts on his phone and they were all about drugs and buying "cookies". I cleaned his room and founds needles, and spoons and cans, and I confront him about it and he says his friends left that at his house because they don't want to be caught with that on them. He admitted to smoking heroin while we were in a fight, and he told me he smoked meth but I assumed he was joking because he jokes a lot about that stuff. He is extremely violent and calls me b**** and c*** and says very offensive things and pretends to choke me and rape and hurt me but then he says he is joking and says "awww baby I love you". I guess that is his sense of humor. He gave me his old phone to get ahold of him because my phone is broken right now, and I looked at the google search history and there were searches such as "Can you mix suboxone and meth" and "If you shoot up and miss do you still get high" and constant searches about heroin. He acts clean in person and trustworthy but in his texts and search history it is all about heroin and drugs. He tells me he was that person 4 years ago and not now. But I just don't know what to believe. Please help
2
The fact that you are even asking the question says it all- you know the answer-get out of that relationship - why are you searching his phone ?- you dont trust him- do you want to be in a relationship with someone you dont trust-what happens if you get arrested if you are with him when he is "collecting something" do you think the cops will believe you, that you were only along for the ride? if this guy loved you would he put you in this danger? can you love someone who calls you a C..t- ? i think you know yourself that you deserve better than that- get out now-put it behind you and move on with your life- do you want to get involved in the world of a junkie and addiction and all that is involved with that-nothing but a world of pain-DONT LET THIS GUY DESTROY YOUR LIFE-listen to your friends-
3
Celestial,

Travelin' Man said it all and very well.


Get away from this person! He is lying through his teeth to you, as most addicts will and it wouldn't surprise me one bit if it came down to you or him he'd throw you under the bus without a second thought.

If you are in a vehicle with him and you are stopped by the police and he has drugs of any sort in the car you BOTH will go to jail. Is that how you want to live? What if he picks up a whole bunch of heroin or other drugs?? Are you prepared to go to jail possibly for YEARS? Dragging you to a bad side of town to do who-knows -what is also NOT something a loving caring person does with someone they say they care about. He doesn't care about you sweetie, count your blessings that you have friends who can see past his lies and have your best interests at heart. It may hurt for a little while but when you find someone who isn't a mean, rude person and drug addict you will be happy with the decision you have made today. (not all people who do drugs are mean, rude, thoughtless people. We have a disease and while it does ,on occasion, make us do things we normally wouldn't do, this guy has more problems than just his drug addiction)

How can you think this guy is kidding if he chokes you, pretends to rape you??? calls you a c*^t and a b***h, and has a violent temper and then says "only kidding?" ???????? Seriously???? The minute he lays a hand on you in anger or otherwise it is time for you to call the police and put an end to this scumbags rule over you! You deserve a man who will treat you with respect and love.
Hang tough honey, we care about what happens to you. Please go to the Families/partners of Addicts board here too. There's lots of wonderful people there too to help you.


granny
4
Sorry honey. RUN.....NOW, DON'T LOOK BACK
5
Because we love and care about them we are prone to believing every lie they tell usbut it's crystal clear.that he is lying to you. I've been.through the same. I know how hard it is to deal with it. Do what is best for you.
6
So update: I texted.him today asking him what he was up to, and he said he was driving back from LA with the heroin addicted friend. So I was guessing he was making another "special trip". I decided to confront him over text message about the issue with him and the drugs and how I know why him and his friend go on these trips to LA, and I asked him if he is doing drugs and he said no and that he is saying clean for me and himself and I told him that he shouldn't be hanging out with his friends that do heroin because it could pressure him, and I suggested another one of his friends to hang out with and I asked him if this other friend is clean, and his response was "Yes, he only does it on occasion like me" I am confused by that answer, and I told him I am willing to help him and he was thanking me for not running because of his problems, and he promised he isn't doing drugs.
7
Oh and I am only confronting him over text because of his anger problems and I don't want him to hurt me.
8
Listen to yourself-you are afraid he will hurt you if you confront him in person? PLEASE do yourself a favour and RUN (as the previous poster said) away from this guy- WHAT is in this relationship for YOU ? you do not owe this guy anything-you have nothing to feel guilty about- it is called SELF PRESERVATION- do you think this guy would admit to you he was using drugs-YOU ARE BEING USED-we (addicts) lie, cheat and steal to get what we want- we will use anyone who is useful to us- please listen to the people that have responded to you on this site-we know what we are talking about-we know the dangers and tragedies associated with addiction- FINISH WITH THIS GUY-protect yourself-surround yourself with family and friends who REALLY care about you- YOU MUST TAKE CARE of YOU !!!!!!!!! -
9
He is definitely lying to you. Back off as soon as you can.