just ran across your site, here's my situation if anyone can offer any help. I was an addict for about 3 yrs or so, went on Methodone for awhile, back to heroin, now recently clean. It's been like 10 days since my last shot, I was hospitalized for my detox so those first few days didn't seem so bad, but now I'm pulling my hair out. I don't know what to do. I have a beautiful 3 yr old daughter who I just can't stop snapping at, and a wonderful boyfriend who unfortunately just doesn't understand because he's never been there. I have no job and no car and have been completely shut off from the world to prevent relapse, so for the 10 hours my bf is at work I'm home by myself thinking about how badly I want to stick something in my arm. I'm not trusted to even get a job because of what I may do when given the opportunity. I want to be a sober, normal person but so far I can't take it. I'm so depressed all the time I've been going back to my teenage habit of "cutting" because it makes me feel just a little bit better. When I was an addict I used to think about how much I wanted to be clean, to be happy because of anything other than what made me happy then, but now I can't be happy for anything. No smiles, no laughs, no happy thoughts of the future. Even slightly suicidal, just sometimes and just a little but the thought has crossed my mind. I've read some posts on here that are so depressing, posts saying it may take years and there are lots of people who cannot forsee a future now that their day doesn't consist of hooking up. So why am I doing this then? I can't be a good mother, girlfriend or person in the state I'm in now, and I don't forsee it getting better. Apparently it really doesn't. Please, I need inspiration, motivation and conversation. Help me!
Amie, 26 yrs old.
Hi Amie, Welcome. It does get better, it might not seem like it at the moment but it does.Anything that is troubling you just post it on here don't keep it to yourself. And why bother? For your kid, that's why and for yourself cause you Can be anything you want to be.I know what you're going through, i've been there myself, but it DOES get better, i promise!! I wish i had some pearls of wisdom to give you, but i don't. Stick around on here as this site has been a great help to me you'll get some really good advice and support here. You're doing the right thing Amie. Stay strong, Kev
Hi Amie,
Well done for getting clean first of all!
I know it's hard but just remember that it's really early days you say 10 days,like Kev said it does get easier, that's the truth. Don't beat yourself up for snapping at your little girl I was like that while moving from Heroin to methadone,really irritable,in fact I was a b****.
Problem is that you can get yourself into a cycle of feeling guilty about the way you are being so go out and use to take the pain away,then feel guilty for using,so go out and do it againg to take the pain away,and so on.
Just keep thinking that what you are doing is for the best for yours and your family's lives.
And again, this site is a great place to come and vent it all off when you do feel s**t. There's always somone here with some experience as to how you are feeling.
Kym x
Well done for getting clean first of all!
I know it's hard but just remember that it's really early days you say 10 days,like Kev said it does get easier, that's the truth. Don't beat yourself up for snapping at your little girl I was like that while moving from Heroin to methadone,really irritable,in fact I was a b****.
Problem is that you can get yourself into a cycle of feeling guilty about the way you are being so go out and use to take the pain away,then feel guilty for using,so go out and do it againg to take the pain away,and so on.
Just keep thinking that what you are doing is for the best for yours and your family's lives.
And again, this site is a great place to come and vent it all off when you do feel s**t. There's always somone here with some experience as to how you are feeling.
Kym x
Arnie, there is definately hope! out of deperation when I came off methadone after 18 years with no other drug help. I taught myself Tai Chi from a video, I did it everyday sometimes twice a day and it taught me how to deap breath and feel more in control, when you come of methadone your nerves are jumpy and breathing allowed me to regain control again, sounds simple, it is but can take practice... worth the effort though. Hang in there Sandy
Aime, Sounds like you are picking up before you pick up........kind of like you are convincing yourself ya might as well use.
Yeah we have all been there..........it sounds like you want this bad too.......so hang tight.........I know we all hate hearing this, BUT........it does get better.
Just we always want it to get better NOW, right?
Tell me to F off if ya want, but no lie Omega Fish Oil helps.......I know, I know when someone said that to me and I was so depressed like you.....I was like "GettaFouttahere".............yo, it can't hurt......it helps with mood......and amino acids and B-Complex.
For the rest of it.........you have to find the one thing keep ya clean.......takes your mind off it..........PLUS as long as you don't use you are a good mom, lover, daughter and friend cause it's a fierce thing you are doing.........stay put when your mate is at work............you're doing good.....hang in there.
Yeah we have all been there..........it sounds like you want this bad too.......so hang tight.........I know we all hate hearing this, BUT........it does get better.
Just we always want it to get better NOW, right?
Tell me to F off if ya want, but no lie Omega Fish Oil helps.......I know, I know when someone said that to me and I was so depressed like you.....I was like "GettaFouttahere".............yo, it can't hurt......it helps with mood......and amino acids and B-Complex.
For the rest of it.........you have to find the one thing keep ya clean.......takes your mind off it..........PLUS as long as you don't use you are a good mom, lover, daughter and friend cause it's a fierce thing you are doing.........stay put when your mate is at work............you're doing good.....hang in there.
Hey Amie...I'm glad you found your way here...you'll find much needed advice and support here. I'm not an addict but the partner/friend of one...you said your partner doesn't understand...no he can't really relate to what you're going through...but if you got a supportive partner then that is great...talk to him...let him be there for you in the little ways that he can.
Good luck with your recovery...you got so much to live for...to fight for...and you got all of us in here backing you all the way.
Maddy x
Good luck with your recovery...you got so much to live for...to fight for...and you got all of us in here backing you all the way.
Maddy x
hey again, thank you guys so much for the words of encouragement. I was feeling really down when I posted yesterday, and today I'm hoping I can be more like my old self. I guess I just have to keep pressing on, right? You all seem so close and supportive of each other and I think that's so important and wonderful. I'll keep checking for more replies and let you all know my progress in another day or so. Thank you again so much, it really means alot to me.
Amie
Amie
Hey Amie,
you sound like your in better spirits today,it takes time to feel okay again... when i got of methadone last time i was feeling quite down,i'd have the odd day when i felt everything was gonna be ok. I was diagnosed with postnatal depression(had a baby 2 months b4) in the end but i think a major part of it was that i was facing a life without drugs,i wasn't used to that. Time is your friend in this case..and of course,us:)
Hope that made sense
Kym x
you sound like your in better spirits today,it takes time to feel okay again... when i got of methadone last time i was feeling quite down,i'd have the odd day when i felt everything was gonna be ok. I was diagnosed with postnatal depression(had a baby 2 months b4) in the end but i think a major part of it was that i was facing a life without drugs,i wasn't used to that. Time is your friend in this case..and of course,us:)
Hope that made sense
Kym x
That IS the major thing Kymbo, dealing with life, stresses, joys,highs, lows WITHOUT drugs. It is hard sometimes, but we need to get on with it, don't we? For years i thought i took drugs cause i like them, but now i realise i was taking them to function. not to worry, where there's a will, there's a way.
Yep, Amie like Kym's and Kev said.......and we got days like that........sometimes weeks like that.........but everytime ya don't pick it up you're getting better.
Glad to hear today is a better day and yeah join us.......these are good people up in here.........you get a bad day........hop on here, K? Heck, even when ya got a great day cause we all need to laugh too.
Glad to hear today is a better day and yeah join us.......these are good people up in here.........you get a bad day........hop on here, K? Heck, even when ya got a great day cause we all need to laugh too.
