My young adult son who recently completed a treatment program is becoming very very depressed. He has told me he started self harming again (cutting) like in the past. He knows it is a poor coping skill but he said his depression is crippling.
When at treatment, he was eating healthy and working out, he sounded so good. Now it is so different. He says he isn't drinking or using drugs.
Says the depression, guilt and shame is overwhelming.
He goes to IOP and has an appt. to see a counselor next week but isn't going to tell her that he is self harming.
My counselor told me not to give advice but to listen.. I am having a hard time with that.
Any advice on how to help him through this
I am glad you are seeing a counselor. no advice from me at this time. my son started drinking again. wrecked a car last night - no one injured. wants to die so he and us do not have to suffer thru this anymore. He has told us he appreciates what we have done for him. but he says when he is sober he has issues that are too much to deal with. I think time heals, but it is a slippery slope to get to that point. it does not matter how good everything is going on the outside. job, car, new friends, new opportunities.
Yes, your son sounds like mine. Sober minds bring dangerous thoughts.
I am not sure if he relapsed or not. He is very distant. Said last night about the crippling depression.
Met with sponsor today so hoping and praying he is okay. Not sure what he is up to today. It kills me not knowing .
I am not sure if he relapsed or not. He is very distant. Said last night about the crippling depression.
Met with sponsor today so hoping and praying he is okay. Not sure what he is up to today. It kills me not knowing .
I would rather not know what my addict was doing. I couldn't control what she was doing but when she lived away from me it was easier to breathe.
My daughter is still in.a dual diagnosis rehab. I dred the day that she is released. She wont want me to tell her what to do or who to talk to until she needs me.
I don't want her to need me. These kids who are not kids need to luve their own lives. We need to live ours.
You can encourage your son but what ever happens is up to him
My daughter is still in.a dual diagnosis rehab. I dred the day that she is released. She wont want me to tell her what to do or who to talk to until she needs me.
I don't want her to need me. These kids who are not kids need to luve their own lives. We need to live ours.
You can encourage your son but what ever happens is up to him
My son is the same. It is hard to understand this level of self-destructive behavior. All you can do is let go. I have driven myself crazy trying to come up with ideas, help get into counseling, exercise, etc. Nothing helps and it is not my place any more. Unless he would ask for help or advice, I am trying to back up and move on. Not because I don't care. I would do anything to change how he feels about himself. I have finally realized I am totally powerless.
I don't pretend to understand why these things happen, or why our kids struggle with these demons. But, I am trying to find a peace with letting things go and staying in the moment for me.
Big hugs!
I don't pretend to understand why these things happen, or why our kids struggle with these demons. But, I am trying to find a peace with letting things go and staying in the moment for me.
Big hugs!
How is your son.
trying to keep the faith - I have been a proponent of alternative medicine for many years. some medicines can help emotionally but it takes time and commitment. your son is on the west coast? see if he/you can find a center that does acupuncture, massage, energy healing, homeopathy. It is a long shot. one or two appointments wont change everything and it can be expensive for the first appointments. the mental/emotional stuff takes months or years to work through. but if there your son can embrace something, it might help in the long run. if one modality does not work, try another.
I have nudged my son in this direction for years but he never sticks with it. but I keep trying. we have seen temporary improvements. it usually takes months for me to convince him to go to someone and then he only goes once. when he is in addiction, the alternatives will not work. the street drugs over powers the alternative treatment. that is the tricky part - keep them going to the regular medical, therapist, etc and add in alternatives. usually too much for them to keep up with.... but I wanted to throw it out there. one in a million might be successful.
my son lived on the west coast for a year. he did try acupuncture when he had full - head to toe - psoriasis. and it did work at that time to clear up his skin. but he did not embrace it. only went to two appointments and then quit his job and came home.
another time he was in florida. I found a massage/acupuncture person who was versed in treating addiction. It was only a few blocks from where my son lived... he would not go... acted like he would, but never made an appointment. said he didn't know where it was or couldn't find it or it was too far...
that's the point where it is up to them to walk in the door and follow through.
I have nudged my son in this direction for years but he never sticks with it. but I keep trying. we have seen temporary improvements. it usually takes months for me to convince him to go to someone and then he only goes once. when he is in addiction, the alternatives will not work. the street drugs over powers the alternative treatment. that is the tricky part - keep them going to the regular medical, therapist, etc and add in alternatives. usually too much for them to keep up with.... but I wanted to throw it out there. one in a million might be successful.
my son lived on the west coast for a year. he did try acupuncture when he had full - head to toe - psoriasis. and it did work at that time to clear up his skin. but he did not embrace it. only went to two appointments and then quit his job and came home.
another time he was in florida. I found a massage/acupuncture person who was versed in treating addiction. It was only a few blocks from where my son lived... he would not go... acted like he would, but never made an appointment. said he didn't know where it was or couldn't find it or it was too far...
that's the point where it is up to them to walk in the door and follow through.
Well, I am not sure how my son is doing at this time. As of last weekend he was doing great. Then he seemed to pull away this week. Would not reply to text messages or emails. His birthday was this week and I feel that was a trigger. He never acknowledge our gifts or texts wishing him a Happy Birthday. not even his grandparents. I don't think he went to his IOP one night this week which concerns me. I don't think he has gone to any AA meetings either. We have an agreement which I won't disclose on here for me to know he went.
Today would have been 2 months sober. I do plan on reaching out to him today and asking if we can talk since it has been awhile since I heard his voice.
I am scared. I pray he has not relapsed but is doing okay.
Today would have been 2 months sober. I do plan on reaching out to him today and asking if we can talk since it has been awhile since I heard his voice.
I am scared. I pray he has not relapsed but is doing okay.
I have no advice since it sounds like we are in similar situations, but I wanted you to know that I read your post and I do hope you managed to reach out to your son and that he's doing ok.
