My 28 year old son is an addict. Off and on for 10 years. Just got out of rehab for the 7th time. Again I allowed him back in my home It has only been 3 weeks and he is back at it again. Told him he has to be out of here by 5pm today and he is never welcomed back here. He has been crying and begging all day, I can't handle this. I know I have to do this, but it is so hard. How do you throw your child out on the street with no where to go? I have a friend who did this and a week later her son was found dead, on the sidewalk. She will never forgive herself. So torn here. Would love some input
Thank you
Hi Susan - your son has no desire to get clean obviously , 7 rehabs ? sure why would he if he knows nothing will change- you will be there to look after him ! sorry, sounds harsh, but the reality is your enabling his addiction. you are not going to fix him, no one can - only he can decide he wants to stop and obviously at this point he does not - you need to stick to your plan - he is 28 - time he took responsibility for his life and his choices - he wont change untill everything changes - he needs to be made aware of the consequences of his choices - you need to start looking after yourself - there is a group called Naranon, for the families of addicts, you will get loads of support, help and advice there from people in your circumstances - you cannot live your life like this, wondering when he is going to relapse, back to treatment, relapse and round and round, addicts lie, cheat, steal and manipulate those around then to get the drugs they need ( done it myself, so i know how the game is played) tell him you will help him when he shows he is making a real effort to get clean - actions speak louder than words- do not believe any promises he makes at this stage - he needs to go to NA or get involved in some other recovery program / sober living facility- whatever it takes - only when he has demonstrated to you he is making a real and concerted effort - then re-examine the situation - for now - it is his choice to continue to use - you are not responsible for his addiction or his recovery - his life - his choices - i truly hope he makes the right one - all the best -
Dear Susan,
Your son does not have to choose recovery because he has a "get out of jail free" card - by you taking him in.
He is 28 years old and able to support himself if sober. A sober-living home is a good option for him, as they have strict standards to remain in the home.
I strongly suggest you obtain family support counseling - Al Anon and NAR Anon are good options. If you are a faith-based person, then many churches offer family support. Please don't try this on your own. Addiction is a supernatural problem, and requires a special touch.
Good luck,
Fly
Your son does not have to choose recovery because he has a "get out of jail free" card - by you taking him in.
He is 28 years old and able to support himself if sober. A sober-living home is a good option for him, as they have strict standards to remain in the home.
I strongly suggest you obtain family support counseling - Al Anon and NAR Anon are good options. If you are a faith-based person, then many churches offer family support. Please don't try this on your own. Addiction is a supernatural problem, and requires a special touch.
Good luck,
Fly
