I'm new to this board and I have no one to talk to. I decided I would post here because I need to talk to people that are going through the same thing. I started taking pain meds mostly percs about 1 yr ago. I had a disease called endometriosis. My doctor started perscribing me them, I'm sure thats how alot of you started. It sucks, especially when you sit and think back to those days wondering why and how did I get into this. Thinking "if I had known then what I know now" lol I here that alot.... But it's true. I never once in a million years would have thought that at age 21 I would be so heavily into a little pill. I'm a big believer in god and in the devil, and I believe that when we incounter an addiction, that the devil has gotten us. I hate to finally admit it but he's gotten me. I've tried and tried to drop these things but as soon as I start feeling leg pain, and start thinking about them forget it I'm back to where I started. I used to think my life was so bad growing up, and I had so many problems. I was a cutter, bulimic, suicidal, and severely depressed. I was locked up in a mental hospital for 3 weeks when I was 14yrs old. As soon as I start to pick myself up I'm back down lower than before. But I guess they say that it's when you get your lowest thats when you'll start to rise back up. Well hello I've been at the bottom for a long time now lol. I just want to stop. I've heard that there's a patch that they have out called duregesic patches, it is a pain med but it doesn't give you that euphoric feeling. When I get insurance I'm gonna see if my doc. thinks wearing those would be a good idea. I don't really care about the feeling anymore, I just need my sleep and I know how the physical part of withdrawing is. So If I can get those I can taper off the right way. Just a thought I'm not a doctor so I could be totally wrong........ Sorry for babbling like I said I just someone to talk to........ I wish the best of luck for you all.......
- stacy
Stacy the doc can answer the pain questions for you, but are you on an anti depressant for the depression? Im 43 now and I was hospitalized when I was 15 for depression, I lived with it for years until a few years ago when I got on an anti depressant that worked for me. I think that was one of the resona I got hooked on percs, they got rid of anxiety and depression.
Good luck
JohnDee
Good luck
JohnDee
Stacy, I agree with John. I'd ask the Doc about a good anti-depressant. They don't "kick in" right away. Takes a couple of weeks, but I bet it would help you a lot. And STAY AWAY from the patches. I wore one for only two weeks, realized what it was doing and ripped it off. A TON of people get addicted to them, so if you want to help yourself, run from those. I didn't even know what it was when the Doc gave it to me. But they are big trouble, please believe me.
Stacy, so many people get hooked on pain pills after taking them for legitimate reasons... You are not alone & you did nothing wrong. I also started taking Norco b/c of severe pain, but then realized that I loved how they worked on my depression, my mood swings, my irritability, my fatigue.... To me, they were magic little pills; great mood elevators.... But now, after almost 3 years, I am battling a full-fledged addiction, one that I break for a little bit and then relapse right back into.....
You did the right thing by coming to this site for support.... I wish you the best.
Danielle
You did the right thing by coming to this site for support.... I wish you the best.
Danielle
Please dont beat your self up for being in this pridicament it happens to the best of us.you might want to find an addiction specialist in your area , it depends on how your relationship is with your present dr. Not to scare you at all but I believe that unless the DR is a shrink or an addiction=ologist once you tell them your an addict they legally cannot write you anything narcotic to wean you off. Now that doesnt mean the DR wont, but you know him or her best. I went back on antidepressents again last week ,seem to stay on 6 months or so then get off and back on anyway this board is a fantastic place to get help and talk to others in your situation I felt blessed when I found it just over a month ago Keep on posting and stop beating your self up take a day just for you to be good to your self Best Ray
Hi stacy, welcome to the board. I echo the other posters...it isn't something to beat yourself up for. You are now entering the solution...
Good luck,
Kerry
Good luck,
Kerry
Hi my name is Mitzy aka Jasmine eaither is fine and i wanted to welcome u to the board, there is much love here, your in a good safe place know, and i was thinking maybe your doctor can wean u off the pills???, if not maybe rehab where they cam medically detox you might judt be your best idea, if your doctor will not hekp you, nut i can bot see why not bring that he put you on them?, well welcome again and take care...
Oh yeah by the way if you need help to detox at home let me know and i can tell you what worked well for me whilr i was detoxing at home all alone off of Methadone!!ahhhh nightmeare.. i was on it for being addicted to vics..
take care and let me know, mitzy, aka Jasmine eaither is ok...
take care and let me know, mitzy, aka Jasmine eaither is ok...
thanks everyone for your replys, I just wrote another post tonight saying no one has responded to my posts, but then I read the one I had the other day. So sorry I should find out the situation before I open my big fat mouth lol.
I've done the whole anti depressant thing since I was 13, I've been on prozac, effecor, norontin, zoloft and any else you can name. I was diagnosed with bi polar disorder about a year ago. I would deffinitly try again, since those didn't work due to my smoking pot, but now I've tapered down ALOT I do it once in a while, I have no desire to. But I also have no health insurance, and anti depressants are like $200 + with no insurance. I can't help but beat myself up for it, sometimes I feel so gross and disqusted with myself. I have no confidence or self esteem, sometimes Id rather die. I know I need to stop, but a part of me (my evil side lol) tells me I never will but I guess thats the addiction talking. I have so many things I would like to do, one is going back to school to study Psycology lol go figure, I need to analyze myself before anyone else. I need to start going to work everyday, in which I can't because If I have no pills I'm not going.....My life is so sad, I'm so sorry for burdening everyone with my problems when you all have your own. I just need to get it out sometimes. My boyfriend doesn't understand, well I shouldn't say that he tries I just don't let him in, he's addicted to, and I don't love him anymore, thats another addiction I'm dealing with. I've been with him for almost 4 yrs and i can't even have a normal conversation with him, I can't even kiss him. But when I leave and move home with my parents I end up missing him. So I come back. It's an addiction........ I need help.
thanks for all of your responses
hope you guys are doing good, and remember stay strong.
I heard In a song along time ago, a quote I like to use alot it's
"If you can make it through the night there's a brighter day, everything will be alright if you hold on, it's a struggle everyday gotta roll on." It's from Tupac Shakur.........
- stacy
I've done the whole anti depressant thing since I was 13, I've been on prozac, effecor, norontin, zoloft and any else you can name. I was diagnosed with bi polar disorder about a year ago. I would deffinitly try again, since those didn't work due to my smoking pot, but now I've tapered down ALOT I do it once in a while, I have no desire to. But I also have no health insurance, and anti depressants are like $200 + with no insurance. I can't help but beat myself up for it, sometimes I feel so gross and disqusted with myself. I have no confidence or self esteem, sometimes Id rather die. I know I need to stop, but a part of me (my evil side lol) tells me I never will but I guess thats the addiction talking. I have so many things I would like to do, one is going back to school to study Psycology lol go figure, I need to analyze myself before anyone else. I need to start going to work everyday, in which I can't because If I have no pills I'm not going.....My life is so sad, I'm so sorry for burdening everyone with my problems when you all have your own. I just need to get it out sometimes. My boyfriend doesn't understand, well I shouldn't say that he tries I just don't let him in, he's addicted to, and I don't love him anymore, thats another addiction I'm dealing with. I've been with him for almost 4 yrs and i can't even have a normal conversation with him, I can't even kiss him. But when I leave and move home with my parents I end up missing him. So I come back. It's an addiction........ I need help.
thanks for all of your responses
hope you guys are doing good, and remember stay strong.
I heard In a song along time ago, a quote I like to use alot it's
"If you can make it through the night there's a brighter day, everything will be alright if you hold on, it's a struggle everyday gotta roll on." It's from Tupac Shakur.........
- stacy
Stacy, he also says..."don't cry, dry your eyes, you gotta keep your head up.."
(okay, okay, i admit it, his cd is in my car...it is 10 years old, but I still like him...lol...)
Anyway, you aren't the only one who feels like that. I have some of the feelings you do...Depression is a b****..and can make us do anything to feel better; boyfriends for security (did that one), pills, whatever.
Do you have any meetings in your area? AA is good, even if y ou don't drink. To me, it is the same disease...
You might want to try to find one, and go. When you find someone with a similar story, you might want to get their number....
Just a thought. Hang in there, it will get better. Sobriety isn't always pretty, but it sorta gives you more hope to make things better than when you are using. JMHO...
Kerry
(okay, okay, i admit it, his cd is in my car...it is 10 years old, but I still like him...lol...)
Anyway, you aren't the only one who feels like that. I have some of the feelings you do...Depression is a b****..and can make us do anything to feel better; boyfriends for security (did that one), pills, whatever.
Do you have any meetings in your area? AA is good, even if y ou don't drink. To me, it is the same disease...
You might want to try to find one, and go. When you find someone with a similar story, you might want to get their number....
Just a thought. Hang in there, it will get better. Sobriety isn't always pretty, but it sorta gives you more hope to make things better than when you are using. JMHO...
Kerry
I think you need to try and find out if suboxone is in your area , my husband has been doing about 20 pills of oxycontin aday and suboxone has a blocker in it so you cant get high from it and you are not sick either.
I know what you're going through. I've been on pain meds for about 3-4 years now. I have pancreatitis and I've been taking them since 8th grade. It gets hard to function after a while. My doctor is suggesting toradol or methadone. Maybe you could try one of those.
Diva, Toradol is a non-narcotic anti-inflammatory that works great for a lot of people. For me, it only works combined with an opiate, but maybe that's because my body was already addicted to the narcotics (they would give me toradol injections every 6 hrs when I had meningitis and demerol or percocet every 4 hrs).
Try the toradol for the pain.... I don't know how your doctor will do that since I thought it had to be injected (I could be wrong), but it IS really helpful.
Stacy, I get so depressed right now I don't know which way is up.... but I'm reading a book on addiction and it says that in most cases, the depression goes away once the addict is off of the drugs... it's the guilt and shame and chemical imbalances and everything else associated with being addicted to a narcotic that makes depression worse. I was diagnosed as bipolar way before I ever got addicted to drugs, but I know that my suicidal tendencies and despair are worse now than they've ever been.... You feel all alone in this mess....
As far as the boyfriend thing.... you are right about that being an addiction as well. Sometimes we get caught up in the drama and either don't feel like we deserve to be with a "good" person or we get so bored when things are great that we do something to scew that up... Yes, I'm speaking from experience.... My husband and I had a back and forth relationship for YEARS before we were married... all we ever did was break up, get back together, break up..... then after 6 years we finally tied the knot and he has been excellent in so many ways... and now I am the one that's bored and looking at other people and doing things I shouldn't be doing.....
Good luck in all of this...
Try the toradol for the pain.... I don't know how your doctor will do that since I thought it had to be injected (I could be wrong), but it IS really helpful.
Stacy, I get so depressed right now I don't know which way is up.... but I'm reading a book on addiction and it says that in most cases, the depression goes away once the addict is off of the drugs... it's the guilt and shame and chemical imbalances and everything else associated with being addicted to a narcotic that makes depression worse. I was diagnosed as bipolar way before I ever got addicted to drugs, but I know that my suicidal tendencies and despair are worse now than they've ever been.... You feel all alone in this mess....
As far as the boyfriend thing.... you are right about that being an addiction as well. Sometimes we get caught up in the drama and either don't feel like we deserve to be with a "good" person or we get so bored when things are great that we do something to scew that up... Yes, I'm speaking from experience.... My husband and I had a back and forth relationship for YEARS before we were married... all we ever did was break up, get back together, break up..... then after 6 years we finally tied the knot and he has been excellent in so many ways... and now I am the one that's bored and looking at other people and doing things I shouldn't be doing.....
Good luck in all of this...
Danielle....do you mean tramadol(ultram)....if so this drug should never be taken by someone who was addicted to opiates. They....the docs....say it is not addictive but it is in opiate dependant people......
Read wrong somewhere never heard of the drug you are talking about Danielle but don't take the drug tramadol really not good from what you read on here
Read wrong somewhere never heard of the drug you are talking about Danielle but don't take the drug tramadol really not good from what you read on here
No, I meant Toradol.... Tramadol and Toradol are two separate drugs....
Maybe Diva meant her doctor wanted to put her on Tramadol, but I was talking about toradol... I've had it for two separate surgeries, both times for pain associated with inflammation.
I, too, have heard horror stories about Tramadol (Ultram).... it seems that that one is even worse addiction-wise than hydrocodone.....
Maybe Diva meant her doctor wanted to put her on Tramadol, but I was talking about toradol... I've had it for two separate surgeries, both times for pain associated with inflammation.
I, too, have heard horror stories about Tramadol (Ultram).... it seems that that one is even worse addiction-wise than hydrocodone.....
Toradol DOES come in pill form, but when I looked it up, the info says you shouldn't use it for more than 5 days, so this might not be right for you.... Like I said, talk to your doctor about all of your options
I was speaking of toradol too. I've taken ultram for a short period of time a while back. It wasn't too bad, but I only took it for a day or two..
Stacy,
I really feel for you and know what you are going through. I am 30 Started taking vicoden about three years ago for jaw pain. I got very addicted. I ended up losing my business and a lot of people in my life. I know the boyfriend thing too I did the same thing. It is another addiction. I have been off for a few months now and am feeling much better. I would like to share with you how I did it and some pointers. I don't believe it is true what I read on another posting that a dr can not give you more once you say you are addicted to ween you off. As I am iin the middle of a law suit for over prescribing and if that were true my lawyer would have found it. My Dr. was prescribing me about 100 about ever 4 to 5 days for more then a year. It ruined my life. I do have a lot to share that may help you or someone else in your situation. I will leave my secondary email address for you to email me (Stacy only please or others seeking help, no jokes please this is not funny). You can email me @ caligal2802@yahoo.com. I will do my best to tell you what I know and help. Hope to hear from you. In the mean time you will be in my prayers. KT
I really feel for you and know what you are going through. I am 30 Started taking vicoden about three years ago for jaw pain. I got very addicted. I ended up losing my business and a lot of people in my life. I know the boyfriend thing too I did the same thing. It is another addiction. I have been off for a few months now and am feeling much better. I would like to share with you how I did it and some pointers. I don't believe it is true what I read on another posting that a dr can not give you more once you say you are addicted to ween you off. As I am iin the middle of a law suit for over prescribing and if that were true my lawyer would have found it. My Dr. was prescribing me about 100 about ever 4 to 5 days for more then a year. It ruined my life. I do have a lot to share that may help you or someone else in your situation. I will leave my secondary email address for you to email me (Stacy only please or others seeking help, no jokes please this is not funny). You can email me @ caligal2802@yahoo.com. I will do my best to tell you what I know and help. Hope to hear from you. In the mean time you will be in my prayers. KT
KT, I am trying so hard to get off of painkillers once and for all right now.... If you want to email me, my address is danni80419@aol.com
Please read this carefully and help me in anyway possible. I started taking vicodine and lortab 7.5 about year and a half ago. I was having alot of pain do to my edometriosis. And that was what my doctor prescribed to me. Now that I have had my hystercomy and I am not in any more pain, I still I have to take them, I've tried to come off them by myself but can't. I really need help! I have a 7 year old daughter and she needs me. I just need to know where to start at. Please, I baggeth you if you can help,please reply. I have to have at least 5 or 6 a day to function. Nobody knows in my family. except my husband and he is so supporting and will do anything to help. It is Sunday 12-19-04 And I've already took 2 today, when I first got up. I don't want to do methedone, I've lost 2 close family members from methedone and them mixing it with xanax. I will be checking back soon, so I hope at least one person can help me get started!
