So, 4 months ago, i fell in love with an 18 year old boy who was a recovering heroin addict. I really didnt understand the seriousness of that decision... He still did some drugs and talked about his past life of drugs a lot.. Things were good until communication failed, he started hanging with bad influences, and i didnt know to recognize the warning signs.
I went on a 2 week vacation, came home with no contact from him, and then his mom called me saying he had relapsed and was in the hospital with an overdose. he almost died. And he had been lying to me for over a month that he had relapsed. He was a month away from being a year clean, but he left his moms house and became unstable in his home and work, and suboxen treatment, not to mention NA meeting attendance.
i smoke pot, and have offered to quit for him, but i dont know how it feels to be that much of an addict. im beginning now to realize the depth of the issue and the serious implications in my future with him. I am religious, and i know that a relationship with God is his only chance for full recovery. this is his second time in rehab- he went willingly, saying he wants to get better. But who knows if he is just saying what he wants us all to hear.
My family and his family are supporting him. However, this is his last chance with his family before he is homeless and probably kills himself with another big shot. i want to see the man he can be. i am willing to go to meetings and support him in any way. i just dont know what i can do that will really help. i know i cant change him, i cant fix him, and now i cant even remotely trust him. its an emotional hell for a 17 year old girl. So some support and guidance in all of this would be great. i want to attend family support groups too so i can better my ability to help him.
Also, is it bad for him to smoke pot or cigarettes? will it make him want to relapse and just do something harder?
This requires a complete 180 lifestyle change and character change for him. and hes the only one who can do it. Prayers are very needed here.
Also, is it smart for him to move? I almost wish he could have a longer impatient time or just leave this area and all its connections and temptations. A 5 day rehab isnt going to do much if he hasnt hit rock bottom or feel the complete desire to change.
All responses here will be greatly appreciated. Its hard to be so betrayed by someone, and manage to keep your walls up so they cant hurt you again, while trying to support them. But im one of 2 good people in his life who wants to see him happy , healthy, and successful, so i cant abandon him, regardless of what any one else thinks. But there is also an uneasy point where i have to look out for myself, my own temptations, and my own future. I want him to be a part of my future (im still very young and immature and i know it), but a life with an addict is a huge sacrifice to make.
Thank you and prayers to everyone struggling and blessings on everyone who fights each day with so much strength.
Emma:
You will have to understand what an addict truly is .. and what a co-dependant is.
Read through the threads here about the addict/alcoholics and the people that are affected.
The addict/alcoholic is obsessed with booze & drugs
The co-dependants are obsessed with the addict/alcoholic.
Neither has a clear view of their problem.
All the best.
Bob R
You will have to understand what an addict truly is .. and what a co-dependant is.
Read through the threads here about the addict/alcoholics and the people that are affected.
The addict/alcoholic is obsessed with booze & drugs
The co-dependants are obsessed with the addict/alcoholic.
Neither has a clear view of their problem.
All the best.
Bob R
i think for your age your a wiseone you talk like you know what your saying so i gather youve done your reasearch it is a very admerable thing your doin but like you said he hasnt hit rock bottom, desperation the desire to change people dont change things there willing to tolerate! sometimes someone can be an enabler where they love the person an give them money when they click an/or ask for it knowing its for drugs not saying this is your situation i believe in tough love (sometimes) aww its difficult i wish you all the best an remember theres always people out here to talk to
