wow i was just thinking christmas is coming then i had this omg feeling its ok for me and other pill takers we can stay away from chemists users etc but christmas is a party time lots of drink and invitations how on earth is any alcoloic suposed to avoid this? yet still have social gatherings it must be real hard. i would love to know how people manage? would be good for new comers to see how others manage at this time of year jackie xxxxx
If I'm not high I can't handle social encounters of any kind, Christmas would be me faking smiles, avoiding conversations and leaving straight after the food with some place to go - home. And that's family, they are the easist of social encounters. except the checkout lady at the supermarket, I dont have to say a word to her so thats sweet! lol
Charmed I can relate.
I'm a recovering alcoholic, I haven't touched alcohol in a few years now. I believe for me it was just so tired of wondering what I did the night before and so I just stay away from it. I've been in many situations where alcohol was there and now it just makes me sick to even look at it. I'm sure I'll get this way with the pills as well.
I'm a recovering alcoholic, I haven't touched alcohol in a few years now. I believe for me it was just so tired of wondering what I did the night before and so I just stay away from it. I've been in many situations where alcohol was there and now it just makes me sick to even look at it. I'm sure I'll get this way with the pills as well.
Hi Jackie, Charmed, and Liz....
I have been sober from alcohol for almost 2 and a half years now. I had to quit my bartending job of 10 years to do it, but that is what it took. Anyway, as to your question about the holidays....I do the same thing...I don't like to go where everyone is drinking...and I tend to isolate and be a hermit most of the time. I work in retail...so I have to be nice and deal with people four days a week for 9 hours....and once I am off work..I just cannot make myself be sociable. I get asked out on dates...but I just am unable to go....even if I accept a date, by the time the day arrives...I find a reason to wimp out. I wish I knew what to do about not wanting to be around people (except my sister who lives close by), and any advice/help you guys come up with would be much appreciated.
I have posted more today than I ever have in the whole 3 months I have been around....must be getting over that shy stage I was in..lol.
God Bless all of you...betz
I have been sober from alcohol for almost 2 and a half years now. I had to quit my bartending job of 10 years to do it, but that is what it took. Anyway, as to your question about the holidays....I do the same thing...I don't like to go where everyone is drinking...and I tend to isolate and be a hermit most of the time. I work in retail...so I have to be nice and deal with people four days a week for 9 hours....and once I am off work..I just cannot make myself be sociable. I get asked out on dates...but I just am unable to go....even if I accept a date, by the time the day arrives...I find a reason to wimp out. I wish I knew what to do about not wanting to be around people (except my sister who lives close by), and any advice/help you guys come up with would be much appreciated.
I have posted more today than I ever have in the whole 3 months I have been around....must be getting over that shy stage I was in..lol.
God Bless all of you...betz
I'm with ya both, Betsy I do what you do, it is some kinda social phobia but I dont understand myself alot of the time, I just have panic attacks and crippling anxiety when I know I have to be somewhere at a certain time. I'm forever rescheduling doctors appts, didn't show up to my counsellor and I juat can't seem to pick up the phone and find another one, I go grocery shopping in the middle of the night, and if i have to be social i have to have a drug supply ready, have to be able to afford it for that day... so I just can't plan ahead really. It can be a horrible way to live, but then again I have come to really like my own company lol
Right so are we saying that if you had a drink problem the socilising is a major issue? well maybe someone should start a acoloics club then somewhere you can go dance the night away with like minded people and drink soft drinks without feeling under presure, Betsy there you go hun a job for you i think a social club for the clean what do you say? And thx for being so open hun its never easy if you shy but just remember we are all in the same boat and im not here to judge just to support you. jackie xxx
it's people, places, things soialising for her trigger alcohol craving, or she's not interested in socialising without alcohool so she had to give up one. I just don't know how to function sober and socialising at any level sober is stressfull for me! Thanks for caring Jackie!
Charmed lets look at why it so stressfull for you hun maybe together we can come up with something, you need to enjoy life hun jackie xxx
It would take a book, honestly. I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder from being drug raped 18 months ago. To numb the pain that I couldn't handle I smoke P. This social phobia started at the same time as my PTSD but the last couple of months it has really spiralled. Unless I am high, I only go out for emergency's, and don't want visitors when I'm sober either. At first it was just going out partying in town that I avoided cause he was out there, but that slowed down my social life dramatically. Most of the people I considered friends really don't know the meaning of it, I was always feeling so hurt about someone, I realise now that some of this was my bipolar, but my memories are real and they weren't good friend to me. So I learned to like my own company, and I have so much more fun hanging out by myself then hanging out with people who are gonna s*** on me. I still have a few friends that I love and trust, but not many, and there's no one I see regularly, and I still wanna be high when I see them. There is way more to it then this, alot of stuff I am doing and it doesn't make sense rationally but I feel like I have to protect myself. Sorry for babbling... Thanks for caring Jackie
Charmed
Charmed
Charmed your not babbling hun, what an awefull thing to happen to someone and i guess no one can truly understand you if they have not had that same experience are there any support groups for that sort of thing hun? why not consider starting one via the net that way you dont have to go out yet. I was raped at 16 so totaly understand your fear. The only thing i can say to encourage you here is stop being a victim here hun dont let that guy ruin the rest of your life go get councelling if you havent already talk about it as much as you can and remember dont get down get even by enjoying your life ((hugs)) jackie xxxx
Charmed, you said it....I just am not comfortable at social functions unless I was drinking. And haven't wanted to venture out much since I have been sober. I think a big part of me being such a hermit is that I haven't met anyone I would like to get close to yet. One of the things I do love about being sober is that I make way, way better choices and don't end up with some guy in my bed the next morning that I can't remember who the hell he is. Maybe I am just not ready. And Jackie....starting a club for sober people...hmmmmm.....who knows?
Thanks Jackie,
Luv, that is so horrible that you were raped! Do you still think about it all? Did you get over the fear? How did you cope with everything? I never thought about searching online for a support forum, I wonder if they do have them? My fear of stuff is just getting worse and I have no understanding of stuff, I am gonna force myself to pick up that phone and book another appt with a counsellor!
Hey Betsy,
I know what you mean about making better decisions sober, I kinda feel like Ive made so many bad ones it doesnt even matter anymore, what more could life throw me? Not much left that would hurt. Socialising I just cannot do sober and dont want to do sober it is horrible. Do you get out at all?
Hugs
Charmed
Luv, that is so horrible that you were raped! Do you still think about it all? Did you get over the fear? How did you cope with everything? I never thought about searching online for a support forum, I wonder if they do have them? My fear of stuff is just getting worse and I have no understanding of stuff, I am gonna force myself to pick up that phone and book another appt with a counsellor!
Hey Betsy,
I know what you mean about making better decisions sober, I kinda feel like Ive made so many bad ones it doesnt even matter anymore, what more could life throw me? Not much left that would hurt. Socialising I just cannot do sober and dont want to do sober it is horrible. Do you get out at all?
Hugs
Charmed
Hi Charmed, actually...no, I don't get out much but it is my own choice. I manage a little store from 11a.m. til 8 p.m. 4 days a week. On my days off I have to do the normal grown up things like laundry, shopping, taking car for maintenance, yada, yada, yada...just things that for me are huge and for most people are just routine everyday living chores. It is very hard for me to explain but I guess we all know the feeling called "false confidence" that drugs/alcohol gives us. For the longest time, after I got sober...I found I was not comfortable making eye contact with people. Isn't that strange? When I was a dancer and a bartender....eye contact was how you made your money for the most part. I have only been living here (middle Tennessee) for 4 years and only sober for 28 months. Maybe when I meet someone that I actually would like to hang out with and know better, my hermit mode will stop and I will be more receptive to socializing. Most of the people I met when I first came here were my customers at the bar where I worked and when I got sober I quit that job and quit the people as well. They weren't really friends anyway...and most of them are alcoholic. The only one I stay in touch with is another former bartender who worked with me. Anyway...sorry for babbling....hope your day is great. I am off today...I just hope I can get myself out of the house! xoxo
Hey Betsy,
I feel the same, just doing normal everyday things that most people consider normal I struggle to do, I just want to be high or sleep. It might be hard for you to meet mr right while hibernating. I've given up on meeting mr right. I hope you are doing well, I will let you know how the counselling goes.
Hugs
Charmed
I feel the same, just doing normal everyday things that most people consider normal I struggle to do, I just want to be high or sleep. It might be hard for you to meet mr right while hibernating. I've given up on meeting mr right. I hope you are doing well, I will let you know how the counselling goes.
Hugs
Charmed
Hi Charmed,
Wow, I can't believe someone understands how hard it is for me to make myself do even the most normal mundane stuff. Good thing I have a job to go to or I would never get out...lol. Do let me know how counselling goes...if this same issue (getting out) comes up, I would like any thoughts or advice you have. As far as Mr. Right goes...you sound just like my sister....she seems to think that I have to get out of the house, too....lol. I do meet a few guys where I work, but so far no one I would date. My standards are different sober, and that is a good thing! And another thing that factors in is that at my age there are very few (good) men available. I will be 52 Friday...so...you see my point. Enough about me...chat you soon. xoxo
Wow, I can't believe someone understands how hard it is for me to make myself do even the most normal mundane stuff. Good thing I have a job to go to or I would never get out...lol. Do let me know how counselling goes...if this same issue (getting out) comes up, I would like any thoughts or advice you have. As far as Mr. Right goes...you sound just like my sister....she seems to think that I have to get out of the house, too....lol. I do meet a few guys where I work, but so far no one I would date. My standards are different sober, and that is a good thing! And another thing that factors in is that at my age there are very few (good) men available. I will be 52 Friday...so...you see my point. Enough about me...chat you soon. xoxo
Charmed, I have gone through a very similar experience -very, very violent, but that's all I'm willing to say about it (I don't like giving this stranger power over me still). I know how you feel. I am either the "social butterfly" or I fear being around people. Both of these are common for victims like us... when I am the "queen bee", it's often b/c I am putting up a front (or I am drunk or high). When I am completely sober, I have no interest in talking to anyone. Nothing anyone says interests me & I often sit on the side by myself (I have been called a snob on numerous occasions, but this is not true... b/c of my job and my life, I often have to be friendly and sweet to every person I meet & it's getting harder and harder to fake that).
I pretty much quit drinking a few years ago (I was never an alcoholic; I just got tired of getting drunk and going out and partying and all of that) and now I'm off the pain pills, too.... and because I've relied on those things so much to make me the "fun" me, now I'm really not interested in going anywhere that requires me to be social.
If anyone knows how you feel, it's me
I pretty much quit drinking a few years ago (I was never an alcoholic; I just got tired of getting drunk and going out and partying and all of that) and now I'm off the pain pills, too.... and because I've relied on those things so much to make me the "fun" me, now I'm really not interested in going anywhere that requires me to be social.
If anyone knows how you feel, it's me
Charmed and Danielle.....I feel the same way as Danielle does...for so long I had to be nice and friendly and sweet to everyone and it was fun because I was drunk and high all the time. I was the social one...the life of the party and then I got sober. Now I just have absolutely no interest in seeing people..it is enough that I deal in retail all day long...the last thing I want is to see anyone or even talk on the phone when I get home. Who knows...maybe this will change with time....even if there were a support for people like me....I would never be able to get out of the house to go there...lol....xoxoxox
Hey guys,
I think we are all in the same boat here, but I live alone and don't work. My "pretend I am happy mode" is reserved for cigarette and grocery runs, all other social time I have to be high for. I know my life is deteriorating, but I also enjoy getting high and I am so thankful to live alone, not require a job and not have to interact with other people when I'm not high. I feel safe in my little world, have lost faith in others, am happy I think, not unhappy anyway. I feel like there is only unhappiness in any other life awaiting me and have kind of come to accept this life and embrace it. But cause I know it is bad for me I am going to try counselling, I don't know how and I don't want to but I know I gotta. I am just so scared of what is out there.
Thanks for your post guys, i thought I was some freak living like this, a happy freak none the less...lol
hugs
charmed
I think we are all in the same boat here, but I live alone and don't work. My "pretend I am happy mode" is reserved for cigarette and grocery runs, all other social time I have to be high for. I know my life is deteriorating, but I also enjoy getting high and I am so thankful to live alone, not require a job and not have to interact with other people when I'm not high. I feel safe in my little world, have lost faith in others, am happy I think, not unhappy anyway. I feel like there is only unhappiness in any other life awaiting me and have kind of come to accept this life and embrace it. But cause I know it is bad for me I am going to try counselling, I don't know how and I don't want to but I know I gotta. I am just so scared of what is out there.
Thanks for your post guys, i thought I was some freak living like this, a happy freak none the less...lol
hugs
charmed
I didn't like counseling, though others swear by it. I am a "self-help" junkie... I will read every book, every article about whatever pertains to me.
I am most comfortable in my small circle. I have my husband, my son, my sisters, my dogs... and a few close friends. These people love me and don't judge me. Everyone else, including other family members, I have to "pretend" all the time. I hate the fakeness, but everyone around me is so fake, so it's hard to be real... They all look down on addicts (and ask, of all things, what do I have to be depressed about), yet they all have skeletons or problems that are a lot worse than using. Maybe they drink or they verbally abuse others or they cheat people out of money at their job or they're emotionally unattached...
I'm a writer, so the best therapy for me is writing down my feelings.. that's why these posts have been a lifesaver. I don't think I could have made it this far without all of your help.
I am most comfortable in my small circle. I have my husband, my son, my sisters, my dogs... and a few close friends. These people love me and don't judge me. Everyone else, including other family members, I have to "pretend" all the time. I hate the fakeness, but everyone around me is so fake, so it's hard to be real... They all look down on addicts (and ask, of all things, what do I have to be depressed about), yet they all have skeletons or problems that are a lot worse than using. Maybe they drink or they verbally abuse others or they cheat people out of money at their job or they're emotionally unattached...
I'm a writer, so the best therapy for me is writing down my feelings.. that's why these posts have been a lifesaver. I don't think I could have made it this far without all of your help.
Hey Danielle,
What do you write?
Hugs
C
What do you write?
Hugs
C
