I started (another) new job Monday. I'm driving a delivery van. (for a florist) I can't believe someone has actually handed me the keys to thier vehicle + gave me a Visa card for gasoline and upkeep and they gave me a company cell phone. It's been a long time since I've been in a position of trust. It's scary. I'm so afraid that I'll screw up! Of course, my employer,s don't know that I'm an addict and I'm for sure not going to tell them! But I know how easy it is to sabotage myself!! This has got to be the easiest job I've ever had and I'm not getting any younger, so I'd like to keep this one. I've been through 8 jobs in 2006. This will make the 9th. I need to figure out what makes me quit jobs and stop doing that!! I need to set boundaries for myself and stick to them. When I start a new job, I'm always eager to please and I'll volunteer for extra work and extra days and before you know it, I'm working harder than anybody else in my department and getting paid the least! Then, I get disgusted and I quit. I definitely need to learn to say, "NO".
Peace,
Shirley
Shirley,
That's fabulous. Good for you. You're not an addict. You're a recovering addict.
Yeah, that trust thing blows ya away. You have to trust you as much as your employer. It sounds like a good job too. You're making people happy with that delivery of flowers. Has to beat pizza delivery. All people bugging ya bout orders and all. Then ZILCH for a tip. Oh, that'd freak me out. LOL You surely can keep this job. Without a doubt.
I give you credit you go out and get them jobs. My big fear I think is rejection or GASP it not being up to my potential which is a laugh. I got 0 potential. So, yeah you need the plan. PLUS you see what plays out and maybe you can catch it this time as far as going overboard and not getting reciprocated.
Self-sabotage is what we do best. You deserve a great job you like. You got the understanding what happens. That's excellent. Work with that. I'm proud of ya, Shirley.
That's fabulous. Good for you. You're not an addict. You're a recovering addict.
Yeah, that trust thing blows ya away. You have to trust you as much as your employer. It sounds like a good job too. You're making people happy with that delivery of flowers. Has to beat pizza delivery. All people bugging ya bout orders and all. Then ZILCH for a tip. Oh, that'd freak me out. LOL You surely can keep this job. Without a doubt.
I give you credit you go out and get them jobs. My big fear I think is rejection or GASP it not being up to my potential which is a laugh. I got 0 potential. So, yeah you need the plan. PLUS you see what plays out and maybe you can catch it this time as far as going overboard and not getting reciprocated.
Self-sabotage is what we do best. You deserve a great job you like. You got the understanding what happens. That's excellent. Work with that. I'm proud of ya, Shirley.
Thanks for the feed-back, Bryn. Like I said, It's scary being in a position of trust but it's kind of neat too. A few years ago I would've applied for this job but for different reasons. I would've jost worked long enough to get that company credit card. LOL. Now... Today.... I know I can be trusted with things like that but I still can't see how anyone else could trust me. I feel like there's a sign on my fore-head or something.I guess I feel guilty for some of the things I had to do for my dope and I feel like people should be able to see my guilt or something! Does that make any sense. And when I feel like an employer or anybody (for that matter) is starting to like me and trust me, I screw it up as quick as I can. I think I need therapy. I've been giving it alot of thought. I can't go on screwing myself like this. I'd like to meet a guy someday and maybe have a relationship or get back with my husband but it won't work as long as I feel like this. Thanks for letting me ramble.
Peace,
Shirley
Peace,
Shirley
Anytime, Shirley........oh, yeah could you imagine with a cell, and a wheel, and a credit card when you were using?
You make perfect sense.....I think we all feel like we got JUNKIE ADDICT pasted to our forehead and people have Sidey senses....LOL.....I swore anyone walked past me knew I was a recovering addict......they trust you so you have to trust you.
Therapy would be excellent.........it helps a tremendous deal......I loved it.
Kind of let's you vent without being judged and ya figure yourself out.
Hope work went well today......deliver me some flowers will ya.....LOL....my favorite are Thai Lillies......I ain't a flower person.....but Thai Lillies just get to me......hang on Shirley and your relationship with you will come through and then you can absolutely work on it with a good person.
You make perfect sense.....I think we all feel like we got JUNKIE ADDICT pasted to our forehead and people have Sidey senses....LOL.....I swore anyone walked past me knew I was a recovering addict......they trust you so you have to trust you.
Therapy would be excellent.........it helps a tremendous deal......I loved it.
Kind of let's you vent without being judged and ya figure yourself out.
Hope work went well today......deliver me some flowers will ya.....LOL....my favorite are Thai Lillies......I ain't a flower person.....but Thai Lillies just get to me......hang on Shirley and your relationship with you will come through and then you can absolutely work on it with a good person.
Drive Carefully-
Being around the smell of fresh flowers all day should be pleasent at least.
best of luck
jack
Being around the smell of fresh flowers all day should be pleasent at least.
best of luck
jack
Alright..Shirley..my Bukowski..Buddy..nice one on the job...stick with&chill just do whats required.Youll be runnin things in no time.Happy Christmas......DAVEY
Thanks guys! It's really a fun job and it's nice to make people smile all day. I did get yelled at yesterday. A rent-a-cop didn't like my driving! (his problem, not mine) I've got enough problems. LOL.
Peace,
Shirley
Peace,
Shirley
