Hello everyone. I am new to this forum. Here is a little background on me in nutshell: I am 33 yrs old and have been addicted to hydrocodone for approx. 1 1/2 years. I was trying to get pregnant for the 2nd time (I have a beautiful 3 yr old boy) and was put on fertility meds. I had a bad reaction to the meds and my ovaries swelled up to triple their size. My doctors prescribed hydro to help with the pain. That's when this nightmare/addication started. I did get pregnant however, I had a miscarriage in my first trimester.
I currently take 15 (10mg) a day. I want to be free from these pills. I am so scared right now. I don't know what to do. Should I tell my doctor? Should I try and get off of them myself (I've tried a few times...very hard). I feel so alone and ashamed. From the outside, I appear to have my act together. I am a stay at home mom and have all of the material things anyone could ask for. However, on the inside, it's quite the opposite. I feel so hollow and empty. I wish I did not put myself in this situation. As I mentioned, I have a 3 yr old son and very loving husband. My husband knows about my problem however, I don't think he knows what to do about it. I feel like such a loser as a wife and mother.
So sorry to ramble on. I really don't know what else to do. I would really appreciate it if someone would point me in the right direction and/or tell what steps I should take to get my life on the right track.
Hi there and I'm glad you found us.
Have you ever heard of NA or AA? If you look in your local phone book there are numbers listed to find a meeting near you. There are people there that are just like you and can support you when you need them most.
Have you ever gone cold turkey before? Experienced the withdrawals?
Cowgirl
Have you ever heard of NA or AA? If you look in your local phone book there are numbers listed to find a meeting near you. There are people there that are just like you and can support you when you need them most.
Have you ever gone cold turkey before? Experienced the withdrawals?
Cowgirl
Hi Gloss:
Welcome to the board. The good news is, you don't have to live like this anymore and you never have to feel like this again. Telling your Dr. is an excellent idea. We have all been where you are and are here for you.
Rachel
Welcome to the board Glossdoll... I am glad you are here. Don't be scared... we know exactly what you are going thru and you are not alone in this. I have a 4 yr old little boy and a year ago i got off hydrocodone. I had been taking them ever since he was born. I didn't even know what they were until i was prescribed them after having my son. Have you told your husband you want to quit?
Welcome to the board.
First let me say that you are not a loser.Stay around here and you'll learn that ther are lots of wives and moms here.It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Here are a few options.And trust me,you'll get lots of opions.Keep in mind that what works for one,my not work for all.
You should talk to your Dr.If he is a good Dr. he can help you taper down so the w/ds aren't so bad.But then you need to have lots of support around you.Some like N/A some don't.Your choice.But you will need support.
If you are gonna do this alone, you can get rid of all pills that you have and just start to detox.There is a list of OTC meds that are very helpful and if your intersted i'll find them and bump it up.It'll be in the topics as"OTC Meds" by Rae 73.
But you should cut all your suppliers off now.That way you can't get anymore.
I'll be around a bit if i can help anymore.Or you could email me.
Keep comin back here to post.It helps so much to talk w/ others that have been where you are.
DJ
GAPEACH1003@CS.COM
First let me say that you are not a loser.Stay around here and you'll learn that ther are lots of wives and moms here.It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Here are a few options.And trust me,you'll get lots of opions.Keep in mind that what works for one,my not work for all.
You should talk to your Dr.If he is a good Dr. he can help you taper down so the w/ds aren't so bad.But then you need to have lots of support around you.Some like N/A some don't.Your choice.But you will need support.
If you are gonna do this alone, you can get rid of all pills that you have and just start to detox.There is a list of OTC meds that are very helpful and if your intersted i'll find them and bump it up.It'll be in the topics as"OTC Meds" by Rae 73.
But you should cut all your suppliers off now.That way you can't get anymore.
I'll be around a bit if i can help anymore.Or you could email me.
Keep comin back here to post.It helps so much to talk w/ others that have been where you are.
DJ
GAPEACH1003@CS.COM
Glossdoll
No No,,,,No losers here. Just potential winners. It may take a while but you will get better and you will be a winner. As a matter of fact you are right now just for coming here and asking for help.
Stick around and get comfortable. Share with us all you want. There is nothing you can say that will surprise or shock us. We're here to help each other.
Welcome
Frank
Welcome to the board you are already getting super advice .You have some options here and the best thing you can do is try to decide what you think might work best for you and go ahead and get started to you can really enjoy the holidays the sooner the better!! I would callmy dr.first thing and make an appt to talk to them face to face .You will get through this and once you get off the pills you never have to feel this way again!! We have all been there and are always willing to help just ask the questions and someone will help.Start asking God to help you find your way that would be a really good start.Cristina
Wow...thanks to everyone for the very warm welcome and encouragement (I really, really need it).
Here are answers to a few of the questions:
Yes, my husband knows I want to quit. He's aware that I have been trying to taper.
I have never been to a NA meeting
I have never stopped cold turkey. The longest period I've gone without pills was 30 hours. By that time, I had no energy, sweating, very irritible. I am so scared of the w/d's. I'm so afraid of having to go through them. Just thinking about them makes me want to throw up!
Here are answers to a few of the questions:
Yes, my husband knows I want to quit. He's aware that I have been trying to taper.
I have never been to a NA meeting
I have never stopped cold turkey. The longest period I've gone without pills was 30 hours. By that time, I had no energy, sweating, very irritible. I am so scared of the w/d's. I'm so afraid of having to go through them. Just thinking about them makes me want to throw up!
W/Ds do suck.But you can get thru them.We were all so scared of w/ds too.At least i was.I had it built up that i was gonna die.LOL But i struggled thru it as did everyone else.5-7 days is the worst for most people.Well,thats what has been reported anyway.But after that you should start feeling much better.
Good luck to you.And keep coming back.Let us know how you are.
DJ
Good luck to you.And keep coming back.Let us know how you are.
DJ
Doll
The w/ds are not fun at all but I really think we talk our self into thinking that they will be a lot worse that they really are. Have you ever had a bad flu and it lasted for 3-4 days. Ok I'm sure you have so look at it like that. You know you're going to feel bad but you will get over it. Hot baths help and I'm sure someone will bump up a list of otc meds that may help. You can do it and we will all be right there with you.
Frank
Well, first off i want to tell you that i am proud of you for admitting you have a problem. I am very glad to hear that your husband knows about what is going on... hopefully that will make things easier on you. I would call my dr (if that's where you are getting them from) and tell him you want to get off of them. He may want to put you on a taper plan. Then, I would look in the phone book and find a narcotics anonymous meeting or an alcoholics anonymous meeting. Try to get to a meeting as soon as possible... you will need some face to face support and you will find lots of caring and understanding people at those meetings. You don't even have to talk if you don't want to... just listen. You will most likely find people who have stories similar to your own. Ask your husband to go with you if you would feel more comfortable with him there. I am not going to tell you that wd's are a piece of cake... cuz you and i both know they are not. You will experience sweating, chills, diarrhea, headache, some nausea, and "an out of it feeling" for the next 5 days or so. There is a list of OTC meds that Rae has posted and i will bump them for you. The weekend is the perfect time to start wd's bc your husband can take care of your child (ren?). You will need lots of rest and be sure to drink lots of water. Explain all of this to your husband... so he will know what to expect. I am here for you and you can do this... i promise... hang in there. Do you have anymore pills left or have you run out? If you have some, how do you feel about getting rid of them?
Love and God Bless,
Bri :)
Love and God Bless,
Bri :)
Hey Doll,
Welcome to the board. You are most definitely not a loser. You will find that there are many many, wives, mothers, husbands, dads, young people, and older people, here in this forum. I'm a 32 yr old wife and mother of three, and it took me three years of popping pills to realize that it just wasn't working for me anymore. Lortab 10's were my drug of choice as well. Withdrawals suck and there's no way to avoid them, but the good news is, they don't last forever. The list of OTC meds help, but its still a rough ride for a few days. You can do it, though. You've already got some great advice, so I won't repeat it. Stay determined and keep posting. It helps. I'm glad you're here.
Hugs,
DeNae
Welcome to the board. You are most definitely not a loser. You will find that there are many many, wives, mothers, husbands, dads, young people, and older people, here in this forum. I'm a 32 yr old wife and mother of three, and it took me three years of popping pills to realize that it just wasn't working for me anymore. Lortab 10's were my drug of choice as well. Withdrawals suck and there's no way to avoid them, but the good news is, they don't last forever. The list of OTC meds help, but its still a rough ride for a few days. You can do it, though. You've already got some great advice, so I won't repeat it. Stay determined and keep posting. It helps. I'm glad you're here.
Hugs,
DeNae
Hey Doll,
You have made the first step and admitted you have a problem..man that was one hard step to take for me. I also am a 40 yo mom of two, with a great husband...I was on vico for a few years then on to methadone, today is my 19th day of being off of them, I won't suga coat it for you, IT SUX big time thru wd.......I swore I was gonna die starting my 3rd , 4tth day...but I kept fighting it..
I got some great herbs to take, took ALOT of hot bathes, and just rested,,,Thank god I don't work..I feel for those who work and have to go thru it..
hang in there.and let me tell you another great thing..........this board helped me EVERYDAY get to my next....there are some great people on here......keep in mind everyone has their on opionion, so use what works for you, but read them all...there is good in every post....don't let folks discourage you.keep your head raised high, and think in about 2 weeks you will be laughing and start feeling like the you that you want to be.....
you are welcome to email if you choose: krazishyone@aol.com
Congrats on your first step....Admitting and wanting to do somehting about it
You have made the first step and admitted you have a problem..man that was one hard step to take for me. I also am a 40 yo mom of two, with a great husband...I was on vico for a few years then on to methadone, today is my 19th day of being off of them, I won't suga coat it for you, IT SUX big time thru wd.......I swore I was gonna die starting my 3rd , 4tth day...but I kept fighting it..
I got some great herbs to take, took ALOT of hot bathes, and just rested,,,Thank god I don't work..I feel for those who work and have to go thru it..
hang in there.and let me tell you another great thing..........this board helped me EVERYDAY get to my next....there are some great people on here......keep in mind everyone has their on opionion, so use what works for you, but read them all...there is good in every post....don't let folks discourage you.keep your head raised high, and think in about 2 weeks you will be laughing and start feeling like the you that you want to be.....
you are welcome to email if you choose: krazishyone@aol.com
Congrats on your first step....Admitting and wanting to do somehting about it
just wanted to pop in and say Welcome to the Board!
Congratulations on deciding that the pills aren't working for you anymore!
Congratulations on deciding that the pills aren't working for you anymore!
Glossdoll,
Welcome to the board! In my opinion I would 1st start with your doctor before you make any decisions..Just sit down and be honest with him. You could tell him you've been taking more than prescribed and you need to be put on a taper schedule, this way he will only give you so many a month and you will have to make due and stick to the plan or you'll just run out early and be screwed..Your not a loser... Your an addict and everyone on this board is either an addict or a recoverying addict.... I am stay at home mom 32 yrs old with 3 children.. I know I am not a loser well at least I hope not:-0) I've had the beautiful home, pool , mercedes bla bla bla none of that matters when you feel horrible about yourself huh? I have been addicted to percocet, methadone and vicodin over the past 10 years or so....I had the best material things money could buy and lost a lot of it in the past due to drug addiction and other problems.I have since gotten most of them back now but I have been down and out and I know what your going through and how you feel..
I have been clean now for 8 months and lortab 10's were my drug of choice this last time I quit... Lortab, vicodin, hydro all the same thing..I tapered off and just quit and the withdrawl lasted about a week or so.. Wveryone is different but one thing is for sure " it will pass".. You will get better and you will survive it!! Yeah it was no walk in the park but I sucked it up and got through it.. I took motrin, hot bathes, Immodium AD, multi-vitamins, B-12, Comtrex flu therapy.That worked some for me. Nothing is going to take all the flu-like symptoms away.. Remember talk to your doctor because even some of the OTC medication may be harmful & nobody here knows your medical history....
One more option that may or may not be of interest to you is Suboxone..
In my opnion and if you were me I would consider it, especially because you are taking 15 --10's a day...You would have to be in withdrawl for like 15 -24 hours then when you take your 1st sub pill it would stop withdrawls. It would make you feel normal again..I am sure there is sub doctor's in your area or your doctor may be able to write it I don't know..I have seen it work better for those that used it short term like 7-10 weeks and tapered off it properly with a doctor's supervison. Like going from 2mg to 1 mg then to 1/2 and a 1/4 mg to disssolving dust under their tongue.. over a period of a month or 2 like I said..That's just my opinion though and I have read a lot about it and my ex-husband was on it for 7 weeks because of a vicodin addiction and he was able to get off the sub with very little to no withdrawl symptoms at all..Just giving you another option to consider..
Last but not least I do not attend meetings but some here do.. It has helped many people stay clean. It may benefit you.. They would give you #'s of people to call at the meeting and you would have outside support to turn to if you ever feel like your going to relapse and start taking pills again. I don't think you have to be clean to go to a meeting either just being there and having a desire to quit is good enough. There is also the rehab, counseling and the out-patient route... Or if you went with suboxone they usually set you up with some kind of therapist to work with if your interested in that!!
Good luck and remember you not alone.. Stick around! Read and post often it helps! Educate yourself some about addiction and consider all the different options available to you...The most important thing is you've admitted you have a problem now it's time to change it before it gets worse because it will...Take care! Rae
Welcome to the board! In my opinion I would 1st start with your doctor before you make any decisions..Just sit down and be honest with him. You could tell him you've been taking more than prescribed and you need to be put on a taper schedule, this way he will only give you so many a month and you will have to make due and stick to the plan or you'll just run out early and be screwed..Your not a loser... Your an addict and everyone on this board is either an addict or a recoverying addict.... I am stay at home mom 32 yrs old with 3 children.. I know I am not a loser well at least I hope not:-0) I've had the beautiful home, pool , mercedes bla bla bla none of that matters when you feel horrible about yourself huh? I have been addicted to percocet, methadone and vicodin over the past 10 years or so....I had the best material things money could buy and lost a lot of it in the past due to drug addiction and other problems.I have since gotten most of them back now but I have been down and out and I know what your going through and how you feel..
I have been clean now for 8 months and lortab 10's were my drug of choice this last time I quit... Lortab, vicodin, hydro all the same thing..I tapered off and just quit and the withdrawl lasted about a week or so.. Wveryone is different but one thing is for sure " it will pass".. You will get better and you will survive it!! Yeah it was no walk in the park but I sucked it up and got through it.. I took motrin, hot bathes, Immodium AD, multi-vitamins, B-12, Comtrex flu therapy.That worked some for me. Nothing is going to take all the flu-like symptoms away.. Remember talk to your doctor because even some of the OTC medication may be harmful & nobody here knows your medical history....
One more option that may or may not be of interest to you is Suboxone..
In my opnion and if you were me I would consider it, especially because you are taking 15 --10's a day...You would have to be in withdrawl for like 15 -24 hours then when you take your 1st sub pill it would stop withdrawls. It would make you feel normal again..I am sure there is sub doctor's in your area or your doctor may be able to write it I don't know..I have seen it work better for those that used it short term like 7-10 weeks and tapered off it properly with a doctor's supervison. Like going from 2mg to 1 mg then to 1/2 and a 1/4 mg to disssolving dust under their tongue.. over a period of a month or 2 like I said..That's just my opinion though and I have read a lot about it and my ex-husband was on it for 7 weeks because of a vicodin addiction and he was able to get off the sub with very little to no withdrawl symptoms at all..Just giving you another option to consider..
Last but not least I do not attend meetings but some here do.. It has helped many people stay clean. It may benefit you.. They would give you #'s of people to call at the meeting and you would have outside support to turn to if you ever feel like your going to relapse and start taking pills again. I don't think you have to be clean to go to a meeting either just being there and having a desire to quit is good enough. There is also the rehab, counseling and the out-patient route... Or if you went with suboxone they usually set you up with some kind of therapist to work with if your interested in that!!
Good luck and remember you not alone.. Stick around! Read and post often it helps! Educate yourself some about addiction and consider all the different options available to you...The most important thing is you've admitted you have a problem now it's time to change it before it gets worse because it will...Take care! Rae
The OTC med list was very,very helpful. I also suggest tapering, that is what I did and w/d didn't seem as bad as prior times.I have been clean for about a month.
Glossdoll...WELCOME I remember my first post like it was yesterday.I was so scared.I never before here reacged out & admitted I was/am an addict.The love & support I got from here I know has made me a better person.
I can understand you being afraid.Youve been living like this for almost 2 years now & it probaly feels normal to you.I think it is awesome that you realize you have a problem & need help.Alot of folks never make it that far.So I see youve already got alot of good advice.I dont think anyone has asked.Are you getting your pills through a DR?If so as hard as it may be you should think about asking for his/her help.Some people feel they cant do that & thats ok too.
Have you thought about when & how you would like to stop.
I hope you stick around I know this board can be the difference.If I can be of any help please let me know.....mj
By the way congraudations on your beautiful baby!!!!
I can understand you being afraid.Youve been living like this for almost 2 years now & it probaly feels normal to you.I think it is awesome that you realize you have a problem & need help.Alot of folks never make it that far.So I see youve already got alot of good advice.I dont think anyone has asked.Are you getting your pills through a DR?If so as hard as it may be you should think about asking for his/her help.Some people feel they cant do that & thats ok too.
Have you thought about when & how you would like to stop.
I hope you stick around I know this board can be the difference.If I can be of any help please let me know.....mj
By the way congraudations on your beautiful baby!!!!
I too am in your situation. I know I have to quit. I started taking them for back problems but quite honestly I have not needed anything as strong as lortab but hey my Doctor gave them to me so I took them. Now I take them just to function. I usually only take them at night almost to reward myself for everything I do during the day. I usually take 3 hydros 2-3 somas and 10 222s a night. At different times of my life I have taken more and less. I have been taking them for over 15 years with little breaks when I could not obtain them. You and I can do this. I am being completly honest here I am not quitting yet as we are going on vacation and I cant have wds then. But I now I have to quit. I am very moody I am superwoman on them can clean my house do my laundry throw parties for all the neigborhood etc. I often wondered how I would be able to pick myself up without them but do you want to know the truth after the wds passed and I could actually function I had a ton of energy. I even had a phot taken for my husband with my boys and I looked so much better. So my head tells me I would be better off without them but for some reason I relapsed and am now worse thant before. Stick it out if I can do it with 15 years of abuse so can you. I often wished something like kidney or liver problems would occur that would make me quit right? But I know me I would problably just complain and get pain pills so lets hang in and do this together ok
Roxy
Roxy
Dear Roxy I have been reading your post since you started to post again.I feel like you may need to forgive yourself.You are doing the right thing by comming here.Your right the people here can make a BIG difference.I can tell you the reason you slipped is simple.Even though your body felt good etc.being an addict that is never good enough & you probaly felt like something is missing.Thats the way drugs can have such a hold on us,by making us feel that fake happiness.Im glad your back(sort of)I hope we get to talk more.....mj
MJ
Thanks for your support. Your right but I can't figure out what that thing is. I have a wonderful life the big house great cars and never want for anything. My kids are very respectful and well liked. I am very involved in both of their activities although the little one is only two. So I often sit here and say Ok so what is my problem why do I need the drugs. Truthfully besides my parents divorce when I was young I've been pretty blessed. I think I just take the pills because I like how I feel on them. I remember thinking so what is wrong with taking these pills. I can get everything done that I need to and the house looks great and they are something to look forward to. I kept actually thinking I wish they were legal, now is that F---- up or what???? I just need to remember the bad stuff too. The mood swings, the always thinking of where your going to get your next ones the shame in stealing them and the fact that food just holds no interest to me, I really want to get past this and I will damnit I will!!!!
Thanks for your support. Your right but I can't figure out what that thing is. I have a wonderful life the big house great cars and never want for anything. My kids are very respectful and well liked. I am very involved in both of their activities although the little one is only two. So I often sit here and say Ok so what is my problem why do I need the drugs. Truthfully besides my parents divorce when I was young I've been pretty blessed. I think I just take the pills because I like how I feel on them. I remember thinking so what is wrong with taking these pills. I can get everything done that I need to and the house looks great and they are something to look forward to. I kept actually thinking I wish they were legal, now is that F---- up or what???? I just need to remember the bad stuff too. The mood swings, the always thinking of where your going to get your next ones the shame in stealing them and the fact that food just holds no interest to me, I really want to get past this and I will damnit I will!!!!
