Steve Wildsmith is a recovering addict and the Weekend editor for The Daily Times.
New Year Offers Hope
By Steve Wildsmith
As a new year dawns, so too does hope bloom.
For those struggling with drugs and alcohol, Jan. 1 is a time when resolutions are made to change our behavior or stop what we're doing altogether.
What I didn't understand before coming into the rooms of recovery, however, is that it takes more than just making a resolution and relying on willpower to make it work. If addiction were just a matter of willpower, we could put down the drugs, get through the withdrawal and simply leave them alone.
Unfortunately, addiction goes beyond just the drugs, and to keep from returning to that old way of life, we must address the reasons we use drugs in the first place. It's a process of self-discovery that may seem too painful to endure, but the blessing of being in a 12-Step recovery program is that we don't have to go through that process alone.
Before coming to recovery, I tried many times to simply stop getting high and walk away from the dope. Because that was all I did I never examined what was wrong on the inside, never tried to fill that empty black pit in my soul with something other than chemicals my efforts were never successful.
It wasn't until I found a group of fellow addicts staying clean one day at a time was I able to put down the drugs and begin some work on myself. There's strength in numbers, and believe me as addicts facing a cunning, baffling, powerful force like addiction, we need all of the strength we can get.
The recovery process works because, as our literature states, "the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parallel." As a newcomer, I found people who felt like I did, who thought like I did, who had experienced the same things I had. I didn't have to try and explain why, exactly, drugs had such a hold on my life and my soul; they knew, because they were just like me. I didn't have to explain the crazy, irrational thoughts that went through my head, because they experienced those same thoughts. I didn't have to hide who I was or bury my feelings, because they were just like me.
As a recovering addict, it works the other way as well. Nothing, absolutely nothing, adds to my peace of mind and my feeling of self-worth like being able to help someone in need. Whether it's stopping to help a broken-down motorist on the side of the road or simply lending an ear to someone who needs to talk about their problems, helping others is a way for me to get out of my head and give a part of myself to someone else. And doing that for newcomers to recovery is even better, because it allows me to give back what was so freely given to me by those who came before me into the program. It helps me to stay clean one more day.
When I first came to recovery, my predecessors taught me that I have a choice in everything I do today. They told me that I never had to get high again. They showed me that through willingness and open-mindedness, I could find the tools and the courage to face what was wrong on the inside of me instead of forever trying to numb it with drugs.
Making that choice to join the local recovery community and to stop getting high was a difficult one. The withdrawal was painful, and the first few months as my mind and body adjusted to life on life's terms without self-medicating were difficult. But regardless of how miserable I felt, getting clean and staying clean was a choice.
And it's a choice I continue to make every day. I never have to get high again if I don't want to. I never have to go back to that misery and that existence. I never have to stare at my own reflection in the mirror and loathe what I see. I never have to let guilt and shame behind my dishonorable actions consume me. I never have to go to bed at night, praying to die in my sleep and cursing God the next morning because I'm still alive.
I have a choice today, and so does every other addict. Regardless of what day of the year it is, we can choose to embrace a new way of life. We can crawl out of the darkness within ourselves and toward the light, and we don't have to do it alone.
Thank you
Wendy
Wendy
Good post. Thanks, Shantel
Thank you CO...
Not having to do this alone saves my butt daily....I thank God he lead me to the rooms and I was open and willing enough to stay....
xoxo
Not having to do this alone saves my butt daily....I thank God he lead me to the rooms and I was open and willing enough to stay....
xoxo
I'm with Stacey, not having to do this alone is my Godsend. I don't have to fight anymore. Thanks Kathy, you always find the greatest stuff.
