dear friends,
about 2 years ago i meet a man who i fell in love with little did i know the world he lived in until i was head over heals. i don't understand his addictions and how to help him. first he don't think he has an addiction, he has used it all i believe and now is using hydrocodome, from oxy, crack, coke, pers, etc. he thinks he has all kinds of illments so he can use these pills. when he withdraws it is awful and it seems he changes from one pill to another and think he is cured of the need for one. but always relapses, he disappears for days at a time, never has money and is always sick. please help me. i don't know how to help him. he is 41 and has used since he was 17. the pills has intervered with our personal life to his life totally. thanks for any input.
Welcome! We copied your message to the families/partners of addicts forum where you will also receive great input. Here is a link to the other forum: Families/Partners of Addicts
Hello New,
Yes, the families site will be helpful to you, but I'll try here. You clearly know he seems to have a fairly significant problem. If he is visibly withdrawing, then yes he does. And I'd bet he's either in a very lonely dark place, or on his way. But until he wants to stop, he won't. That realization comes to us all at different times. Have you discussed this with him? Told him you 'see' what he goes through when he runs out? He might just think he's got it all under control. Or he probably thinks like we all did, that the withdrawals can't be survived. You're probably going to have to face that you need to take care of you. Addicts can't see past their own need. We hurt everyone and then justify it all day long. I'd talk to him and if you get a negative (hostile) response, I'd really consider telling you'll be there when he's ready to change his life. You need to protect yourself. Don't give him money. Don't cover for him. Let him know you count. I wish you the best of luck New...Beck
Yes, the families site will be helpful to you, but I'll try here. You clearly know he seems to have a fairly significant problem. If he is visibly withdrawing, then yes he does. And I'd bet he's either in a very lonely dark place, or on his way. But until he wants to stop, he won't. That realization comes to us all at different times. Have you discussed this with him? Told him you 'see' what he goes through when he runs out? He might just think he's got it all under control. Or he probably thinks like we all did, that the withdrawals can't be survived. You're probably going to have to face that you need to take care of you. Addicts can't see past their own need. We hurt everyone and then justify it all day long. I'd talk to him and if you get a negative (hostile) response, I'd really consider telling you'll be there when he's ready to change his life. You need to protect yourself. Don't give him money. Don't cover for him. Let him know you count. I wish you the best of luck New...Beck
