well then. im finally off probation everyone! yes sir! and my 2 years was saturday! but new problems no bounderies. me and my boyfriend have been fightin over my EX thats been outta the picture for 6 months now. he hates him fo good reason hes the one i did H with. but now with all this fightin and no one to tell me i cant do drugs anymore im slippin. i feel myself wantin things i REALLY shouldnt want at all.Things that r gonna ruin me again.i dont kno what to do.
Hey DeS, Good going on getting over your probation.
You're not alone there. The feelings and all. Time to do it for YOU! Not for the courts, your honey or anyone else.
Your loved one probably senses it or ya plain out are telling the truth. There's always that pull, ya know? Self-sabatoge. Plus if the old one is out the picture for 6 months how come you're fighting over him? He been around?
Easiest way I can tell ya is just keep going like you're still on parole. Just keep going and more time racks up. You're kind of "picking up before ya pick up" ya know? The thought before the action. Nothing but trouble ahead. Best wishes and keep coming back if ya like cause everyone here has been there. It's good ya wrote about it. means ya care.
You're not alone there. The feelings and all. Time to do it for YOU! Not for the courts, your honey or anyone else.
Your loved one probably senses it or ya plain out are telling the truth. There's always that pull, ya know? Self-sabatoge. Plus if the old one is out the picture for 6 months how come you're fighting over him? He been around?
Easiest way I can tell ya is just keep going like you're still on parole. Just keep going and more time racks up. You're kind of "picking up before ya pick up" ya know? The thought before the action. Nothing but trouble ahead. Best wishes and keep coming back if ya like cause everyone here has been there. It's good ya wrote about it. means ya care.
Hey Des i'm in the same boat the 1st 8 months clean i had methadone to fall back on then shortly after getting off the methadone I got pregnant "would not use carring a baby" now babies born & no more methadone to fall on I think about it all the time somedays. I don't have anyone to answer to but, me. It's super easy to look back and only see the "nice" things about using. I've been away from h nearly 2 years having that space between me and it I have to make a effort to remember why i quit how bad things were. My fiance is no support at all he don't like to even hear me talk about dope. I never went to NA meetings i do honestly do this alone only 4 me. I want it still YES but, I want what i have now more. I remember the sickness the depression the lies, stealing, pawning, the never feeling okay till i shot up and having to do that 3-4 times a day to not feel down. I remeber the week in the hospital nealy losing my arm to infection. I see my kids leaving with my mom cause childrens services ordered a drug test. I don't want to go to jail i still have old track marks to remind me not to do it again. It would be all to easy to do it I will not waste what i earned. It took too many times of relaspe to get here. I remember the early days of trying to stop thinking i could do it 1-2 times a week and be okay. I can't it's all or nothing with me and H. You can always go back it'll all be there the hardest part is staying sober not getting sober.
