Hi folks,
I think you'll all find if you read back through my posts you'll see I run hot and cold. I try to talk recovery but usually end up allowing myself to get side tracked
with silly disagreements. Usually because something isn't my way. Hey lets face it, who really enjoys addmitting fault. It's even harder for me because I usually am always right! lmao, just kiddin'..
Anyway, I personally think it's sad that more attention is given to what ever the current drama of the day is, then to the few recovery posts in between.
So, heres my advise for anyone who is serious about getting or staying clean.
For me, this is it as far as posting, my sponsor's advise.
So for you all I say this...And it's what I've been told 1000 times....
1st, stop making excuses and quit using or stop wasting time.
2nd, stop making excuses and go to a damn meeting, get a sponsor and get involved.
3rd, stick with the winners, when you start going enough you'll be able to tell who they are, a hint from me, usually the ones that don't talk because they enjoy the sound of their own voice.
4th, Yes, there are winners posting here too, I wont name them, but if they are clean and sober and have put time together one day at a time, then listen to them.
5th, In my opinion, stop posting about whos right or wrong. If someone posts something from the Big Book of AA or The Basic Text of NA then read it.
Respond to it, post how you feel about it, the go to a meeting and buy or ask for one.
I've seen so many folks post about recovery including myself, then it gets looked over because someone is fighting etc...and thats more fun to coment on,
in reality thats sad.
Now, I will say sorry to anyone I've offended. I know in my heart some things I've done I've done for the right reasons, and some I've justified doing that were wrong. For those I say sorry.
To Sammy I say sorry, Your proof it works if ya' work it, and I was wrong.
To Teresa, I love you and will call you, your proof for me that people can meet on-line and become friends and help eachother. You never have talked to me blowing smoke up my a--. Your honesty is pure and I look foward to a lasting
friendship, and I can't wait to attend a meeting with you.
To Sharon, Kat, Russ, I love you guys, I don't have to tell you that I'm sure.
And I'll talk with you tonight. Russ, your 40 minutes from me, get your a-- over here, we'll do dinner and a meeting! lol
To Terrianne, you know my feelings for you as well. You've been an ear for me on many occasions, things I don't feel comfratable saying out loud to anyone I've been able to say to you.
My on-line experience with recovery talk has taught me alot about myself. It's made me aware of things I need to work on for me. My sponsor keeps telling me I'm not allowed up in my head without adult supervision! I hate to addmit it,
but he always ends up being right.
I seem to always find a way to stick my foot in my mouth on line, and get knocked off my square. My sponsor said, just like when I was useing, why would I continue doing the same thing over and over looking for different results.
This time last year I was in hell, caught up in the grip again after relapsing on my two year anniversary. Well, God willing, I'll have a year again January 12th.
It does work if you work it. My way didn't work, my way only gave me a two year break from hell. This time I take suggestions, do what I'm told and most importantly, make meetings for me, not just try to look like I'm doing good.
Meetings are my medecine, I don't just go to meetings, I use meetings.
If I have a bad day, I get my hand up, if I have a good day, I get my hand up.
I tell people how I got through an obsession or I tell people about a good day because it's just as important to share that being clean and sober is good, it's not a daily struggle to enjoy life.
Well, thats it I guess, I truley do love everyone, I hope you all get this thing.
It's no joke, it's life and death, for me anyway. Happy New Years.......
Take care.....................................God bless........................................Bob
Bob........Good post.....good suggestions. Let me ask you something while we're talking about recovery. I have been clean 40 something days. I'm not actively going to meetings.
Have no friends around me using at all, actually I never did.
I have a loving, supportive immediate family and no money problems or major problems of any sort.
For the most part, I have a wonderful life.
However, I am so depressed I can't function. I make myself get up and do some things, but not much. And I don't enjoy what I do. Is this just part of the recovery? Is it my body adjusting to not having pills? Any thoughts on the subject would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Hi,
First congratulations on your 40 some days. I would say, start going to meetings. It sounds like to me, the only thing that has changed is that your clean now. Thats great but it's not enough. And yes, it is normal, it does take a while to feel right again. It's different for everyone. But, in my opinion, you need to be around people that are, or have been, right where your at now. Just the feed back you'll get alone, on that question at a meeting, I garentee will make you feel better about you and your situation. It's not written anywhere that someone has to have money problems, lose everything etc.. to hit bottom and get clean and or sober. You didn't get addicted over night, and you won't be back to normal, what ever that is, over night either. Having a supportive family and friends is great, but it's not enough. I asked a simular question at a meeting once and was told, if you walk 20 miles into the woods, you gotta walk 20 miles to get back out. There are no elevators in the program, you gotta take the steps.
Good luck to you, have a great and safe New Year!
Take care.......................................God bless......................................Bob
First congratulations on your 40 some days. I would say, start going to meetings. It sounds like to me, the only thing that has changed is that your clean now. Thats great but it's not enough. And yes, it is normal, it does take a while to feel right again. It's different for everyone. But, in my opinion, you need to be around people that are, or have been, right where your at now. Just the feed back you'll get alone, on that question at a meeting, I garentee will make you feel better about you and your situation. It's not written anywhere that someone has to have money problems, lose everything etc.. to hit bottom and get clean and or sober. You didn't get addicted over night, and you won't be back to normal, what ever that is, over night either. Having a supportive family and friends is great, but it's not enough. I asked a simular question at a meeting once and was told, if you walk 20 miles into the woods, you gotta walk 20 miles to get back out. There are no elevators in the program, you gotta take the steps.
Good luck to you, have a great and safe New Year!
Take care.......................................God bless......................................Bob
Ok,
LMAO, my sponsor just now called me, asked what I was up too. I said I just posted! lol He said click off or hes gonna kick my a++! lol
Take care everyone....Happy New Years..........God bless....................Bob
LMAO, my sponsor just now called me, asked what I was up too. I said I just posted! lol He said click off or hes gonna kick my a++! lol
Take care everyone....Happy New Years..........God bless....................Bob
LOL Ok, thanks for the reply. Have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR yourself!
Dear Mom, alot of people need to go on an anti depressant too. I understand it takes up to a year for us to get completly back to normal from the damage we've done to ourselves. You would certainly have nothing to lose from trying it. I tried Paxil but it made me feel funny, (for lack of a better word), but I know for some it works well. There are other one's out here that people swear by but I can't recall the name. Good luck! Love, Kat
Kat........I started on Prozac today because I have them here. I have been thinking about going to my Dr., telling my story, and maybe starting on a different one. But......I am reluctant to do so since I have done this so far on my own and hate to tell my Dr. of 12 years about my addiction. Sick, huh? I know. If I want to help myself I need to get over all the b.s.
I was really just wondering if this is a normal state to be in at this stage. In the beginning of my clean days, I was very happy and "normal" ??? This black cloud just seems to have blown up in the last 2 weeks. Thanks!
Bob - I think you have some good insight at times. Where the wheels fall off is when you impose your values on other people. I'm not "working it", don't want to "work it", and will never "work it". It's not my style. Now, I don't impose that on anyone. As a matter of fact, I will always include it as an option when I give advice. It's just not for me and I get sick to death when I hear it every 10 seconds. A fact: 12% of all people that begin working a program don't make it. That's a cold, hard fact. I deal in science and that's data. I'm not into 12 steps, 6 steps, 40 steps or 3 steps. Don't like being preached to about it either. At times, people only need a kind word or information about meds here. It's not that I "don't get it" which is surely what I will here back. It's a cop-out for the people that think "12 steps" and "meetings" are the only way. There are different ways to "skin a cat". I don't believe in tapering but I'll be damned if I will impose my position on other people....because it works for THEM, and guess what, I'm glad as heck for them! If they have to piss up a tree to stop, I am happy.
Some people can be spiritual in other ways whether you pray to Buddha, Jesus, Allah, or Frank Zappa.
Now, you have a lot of kind things to say and it would be nice if you stayed because you have been a good friend to many people here and you also have a lot of seniority...personally, I think your sponsor is hosing you on this point. Don't let someone else impose their will on you. It's your choice to stay. No one else's. It's a cop-out to say that your sponsor thinks you should leave the site. Does he/she pay your internet bill? It's your call. And please, if anything, don't take this personally!! Have some eggnog and enjoy the New Year. It's about "fresh starts" and the people in our lives...be it on a website, or your "inner circle" of friends.
Some people can be spiritual in other ways whether you pray to Buddha, Jesus, Allah, or Frank Zappa.
Now, you have a lot of kind things to say and it would be nice if you stayed because you have been a good friend to many people here and you also have a lot of seniority...personally, I think your sponsor is hosing you on this point. Don't let someone else impose their will on you. It's your choice to stay. No one else's. It's a cop-out to say that your sponsor thinks you should leave the site. Does he/she pay your internet bill? It's your call. And please, if anything, don't take this personally!! Have some eggnog and enjoy the New Year. It's about "fresh starts" and the people in our lives...be it on a website, or your "inner circle" of friends.
Hey Mom, that's what happened to me too!!! When I first got clean I was just fine, not a problem one. It seems like at certain points we get a little crazy, like 30, 60, 90 days and so on. I don't know why. I never expected that to happen to me. I thought I was doing just great. Suddenly this depression type thing hit me. It does pass though, I promise. We just have to ride it out. I swear by my fourth day of w/d, I felt just fine. Anyway, if this depression continues, I would recommend talking to your dr about a change. Take care, Love, Kat
Hey Eddie, meetings and the steps really helped me, but personally, I don't care how anybody does it as long as they find their way. Most of us are so happy when we find the way to get clean, that we just can't help sharing it in hopes others will be able to also. Your way is just as valuable as anyone else's. I found the support and guidance to be exactly what I needed. But hey, you could show people your way too!! Tell everyone how you got clean and how you stay that way. There may be some out there that need exactly what you have to say. All each one of us can do is try. I might just need what you know myself as well. Thanks, love, Kat
Hey Eddie, meetings and the steps really helped me, but personally, I don't care how anybody does it as long as they find their way. Most of us are so happy when we find the way to get clean, that we just can't help sharing it in hopes others will be able to also. Your way is just as valuable as anyone else's. I found the support and guidance to be exactly what I needed. But hey, you could show people your way too!! Tell everyone how you got clean and how you stay that way. There may be some out there that need exactly what you have to say. All each one of us can do is try. I might just need what you know myself as well. Thanks, love, Kat
Good job Kat - You nailed it. A program works for you and you are not imposing it on others. That's awesome! I hear what you are saying loud and clear!!
LMAO,
Eddie, thanks for your views. My wife saw your post so I thought I'd just say this. I'm allergic to any mind altering substance. When I drink I usually break out.
Most of the time I break out in handcuffs!! lol Your views are valid, I don't mean to come off like I was preaching. I can only say what works for me. My way, which I've tried a million times, only gets me drunk and high. For me, getting involved in a program of recovery is so much more than just not picking up. I find what I've learned so far has made my life more enjoyable. And I've only scratched the surface. I also still have so much work to do on myself, that has nothing to do with a drink or drug. Things I might add I look foward to changing.
I use a sponsor, who has also become my best friend, because hes someone thats been where I'm at. It's not that he doesn't want me to post, nor does he run my life. I didn't mean for it to sound like that. But he gives me suggestions on how to handle what ever it is I may ask him about, and it's my choice whether or not I want to follow them. Now in this case, if coming here to the board frustrates me at times, he just says well, don't go. lol Sometimes, we as addicts, or me I should say, need direction, even on things that to most people would seem silly. Usually it's a "DUH" kind of thing, and sometimes it's more in
depth than that. But, for me it's changing alot more than just not drinking and drugging. Thanks again Eddie, Happy New Years to you....
Take care......................................God bless.....................................Bob
Eddie, thanks for your views. My wife saw your post so I thought I'd just say this. I'm allergic to any mind altering substance. When I drink I usually break out.
Most of the time I break out in handcuffs!! lol Your views are valid, I don't mean to come off like I was preaching. I can only say what works for me. My way, which I've tried a million times, only gets me drunk and high. For me, getting involved in a program of recovery is so much more than just not picking up. I find what I've learned so far has made my life more enjoyable. And I've only scratched the surface. I also still have so much work to do on myself, that has nothing to do with a drink or drug. Things I might add I look foward to changing.
I use a sponsor, who has also become my best friend, because hes someone thats been where I'm at. It's not that he doesn't want me to post, nor does he run my life. I didn't mean for it to sound like that. But he gives me suggestions on how to handle what ever it is I may ask him about, and it's my choice whether or not I want to follow them. Now in this case, if coming here to the board frustrates me at times, he just says well, don't go. lol Sometimes, we as addicts, or me I should say, need direction, even on things that to most people would seem silly. Usually it's a "DUH" kind of thing, and sometimes it's more in
depth than that. But, for me it's changing alot more than just not drinking and drugging. Thanks again Eddie, Happy New Years to you....
Take care......................................God bless.....................................Bob
Kat...thanks so much for sharing your experience. That's what I needed to hear...that the depression may just be part of "it". It's alway nice to know others have been there, too. THanks again and I hope you have a safe and happy New Year! Be careful!!!
Hey Mom, I just scrolled back up and checked your clean time. You really are at this strange milestone. When I went through those periods I was fortunate enough to have a friend who guided me and explained. I'm pretty sure if my memory is correct, that somewhere around your clean time I experience my first taste of the feeling of impending doom. It was horrible. I was just fine, felt great, w/d a mere memory, and suddenly was struck with this feeling like something terrible was about to happen. Nothing specific really, it's actually kind of hard to explain. Once I found out this was common, it didn't bother me so much. I felt it once or twice after that but had the tools to handle it then. My understanding is our bodies will be going through changes for some time to come. I hope it helps you to know that the things you feel are felt by most everyone at some point, regardless of what they are. Just know, you will feel better, and you will be okay. Hope you have a great new year. Love, Kat
Kat and Mom, I had that as well...I felt so depressed, and doom was my middle name.
Just hang on Mom, and know that you have to let your body return to normal...it just takes time. I thought for sure that at 6 weeks (am I right on your time??) that I was going to feel like that forever..I wanted to jump off the cliff...but it does get better. Actually, that is one of the things that took me out, so be careful. IT WILL GET BETTER....
I kinda wish that I had surrounded myself with people recovering from pills...I go to aa and those people feel pretty darn good in 3 days..ha ha..pills take so much longer.
Just try to be proud of yourself, Lady. You have made a major accomplishment...
Six weeks is the hardest of it all..
Happy New Year to all...
And Bob, Happy New Year to you...it takes a lot of guts to post what you did...
Happy Birthday to you soon...
Kerry
Just hang on Mom, and know that you have to let your body return to normal...it just takes time. I thought for sure that at 6 weeks (am I right on your time??) that I was going to feel like that forever..I wanted to jump off the cliff...but it does get better. Actually, that is one of the things that took me out, so be careful. IT WILL GET BETTER....
I kinda wish that I had surrounded myself with people recovering from pills...I go to aa and those people feel pretty darn good in 3 days..ha ha..pills take so much longer.
Just try to be proud of yourself, Lady. You have made a major accomplishment...
Six weeks is the hardest of it all..Happy New Year to all...
And Bob, Happy New Year to you...it takes a lot of guts to post what you did...
Happy Birthday to you soon...
Kerry
Kat and LB...thanks again. I will hang on. I must admit that even though I'm not thinking about using, I worry the day will come when I do. Again, it's just comforting to know that it is probably just part of the process and will pass. I was not a depressed person before the addiction started, but many things have happened during my 8 years on pills that I have not dealt with. It is all weighing down on me now and trying to sort through all the feelings and anger has left me like this. I will stay strong,though, and try to make myself get to some meetings.
Happy New Year to you both. I wish you and yours a healthy and peaceful 2005.
With lots of love and hope, Carol
DEAR TMOM HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!Can I help in anyway??????mj
Hey MJ...just posted to you on your other thread!
Do you remember in Gone With The Wind where Rhett takes Scarlett's head between his hands and says he wishes he could remove all the thoughts and memories of Ashley from her mind? If only that worked, you could help me! LOL
Maybe the electric shock therapy being talked about on here a few days ago.
Seriously, I know there are things that we all must deal with in life. I need my butt kicked because I look around and see so many who have so much worse things to deal with. I need to just get off my pity pot and get on with it, and I will! Soon! For today, I will try to stay upbeat for my little boy and husband and not take a pill. That should do it,huh? You have a good one!!! Is there anything I can do for you?
First miss mom I want you to know THAT GONE WITH THE WIND IS MY ALL TIME FAVORITE MOVIE EVER!!!!Followed by sayanora,and guess whos comming to dinner.HUMMMMMM what you can do for me?????Just keep chating with me and if I can make you feel just alittle better or put a small smile on your face that is the best thing to do for me......I love my family like that too.You know how Rhett says "You get your strenghth from the red dirt of Tara" that is what my B/F and daughter are to me....mj
MJ..... I grew up in Clayton Co., which is where Tara was. Jonesboro to be exact. Everything around there was named Tara this or that. LOL I loved the movie and have seen it many, many times. My daughter had a friend who, at 17, had never seen it!!! And this girl was born and raised in GA. Sinful! By 17 my daughter could recite the entire dialog of the movie. We immediately pulled it out and made her friend watch it.
Did you and your girls ever see Anne of Green Gables? It another of our favorites and I HIGHLY recommend it for your 12 year old if she hasn't seen it.
No I don't think I've even seen that whats it about.My youngest12 likes Gone with the Wind have you ever seen Guess whos comming to dinner?It has spence tracy and k hepburn.I just got her book for Christmas she was such a great lady and the love story with spencer is so sweet....mj
