Ok, So I Told Him

Pain Pills
1
Hi all...Earlier this week had posted that I had met someone. Still tapering and wasn't sure if it is fair to get into a relationship right now. Anyway....we were talking the other night and I spilled the beans. He was very supportive and all. THEN he drops the bomb..............................................................................................................................................up until Sept he was using Crack. I was some what shocked I guess to say the least. I don't want to be a hypocrite but now I"m really debating being a relationship with this person. He is in recovery and I'm on my way. Ughhhhhhhh what to do what to do

I trust you. Should I end this one. I'm afraid if he starts again and I can't be supportive being the way I am and if it makes me use more again....ughhhh

bc
2
B.C Just my opinion You need to be 100% focused on your recovery. i would not enter into a relationship with anybody. An addict RUN

Jeff
3
Run, Run far away......I mean seriously what do you want ??? to start useing with him? I like many here was a full blown junkie. i thought i was fine for sooo long because ,my god i don't look like a dope head, i have a great job, i make nice $, i have a beautiful home.....I would NEVER...EVER.. get involved with someone like me
4
Probably best to not get involved with him right now.
5
It sounds like right now you, have already thought about and know what you should do............... but i would have to agree with everyone else. You are the most important person right now..........dont be mean or nasty to him, but just tell the truth..........that you dont know if you can be supportive if something happend, because of your recovory in process!! just follow your gut.
Hope you are doing ok with all this, im sorry that it cant all be easier

HUGS girl

pants
6
I know its a double standard but with me when I found out my ex had a worse problem than myself, it was too much for me, you have to have strong recovery for yourself to even begin to think about someone with 90 days recovery, recovery or just not using? If you are still tapering the whole recovery process for you is just beginning and honestly you should focus on yourself right now. I think in your hearts of hearts you know what you should do but if you are like me i like lots of different opinions even though my mind was made up before I asked for it!!

Take Care

Carol
7
Most treatment center therapist will suggest to not get in a relationship till you are a least one year clean and that is working a program such as a 12 step program. However, I have seen several couples that used together then got in recovery together. Its tough they tell me. I did not even consider dating anyone till I was one year clean....... If your working a recovery program addressing the underlying issues of addiction as well as he then you might have a chance.
If neither one are working a program I would run as fast as I can.....
Our common welfare must come first..... If you are getting clean and begin to work a 12 step program all kinds of things come out in that first year.. your whole outlook on life will begin to change and you might not even be attracted to this person then....... Two of my best friends our in recovery together and they stuggle ever day but they work their program and have kids....
If I was you I would bail take care of my addiction first. Your higher power will find you someone that compliments you and is healhty for you...... Even then it will be a struggle.......
8
I haven't been on this board for a long time, but I am having a similar issue. I have been on sub since late march to kick a oxy and bag habit. It was my ex that introduced me to all the drugs and though i can't soley blame him, if he hadn't been around I wouldn't have been exposed to it. Anyway i finally left him in august and have been happy ever since. In mid october I met a guy and we really hit it off we've been really close ever since but I am still on sub. very little doses..i was self weaning i'm on about 1mg a day....but i feel guilty keeping it from him. He broke up with his last girlfriend because of her habit, although she didn't want to clean up, and I was hoping to just quit the sub and move on. well i tried this week and it was bad. I was hot and cold, awful leg cramps and so on. my ex gave me two 8mg sub which will last me antoher few weeeks so maybe this time I can wean off slower.....I am so stressed out because support would be so helpful but I am ashamed and don't want to dissappoint him. He doesn't do anything but drink.. I don't know what to do, tell him or try and get off it for good on my own.....sorry didn't mean to write a book...i hope you decide what is best for you too. I know i wouldn't ever want to date someone that was still activily using drugs and not in recovery but that makes me a hypocrite....good luck
9
Hi you beautiful ppl

I have heard things that I have already thought in my head. I knew the answer before I even typed it out.

I need to rid myself of him. I'll do my best not to hurt him too bad. He's a nice guy, but u r right, I need to be in focus on my own recovery.

I think someone asked me if he was in recovery or just not using, i think the answer is just not using. The thought entered my mind that what if sometime I'm over at his place and he and his roomies decided to do some. I would figure it would be just this once........ya right. Hell no, not doing that!!! I know me. I'm not that strong.

Thanks all for making me see what I already knew.

hugs,
bc
10
i know you will do the right thing!!! you are doing great!

Pants