On Edge

I AM KNOW STARTING TO REALLY SEE CLEARLY ON HOW MY ADDITION HAS TORN MY FAMILY APART. I HAD A NICK NAME MOBSTER MOM. HOW SICK IS THAT. I HAVE LOST EVERYTHING. I LOST MY KIDS, HOUSE, MONEY , CARS ETC!!!! BUT NOW I GET TO REBUILD MY LIFE WITHOUT USING EVERYTHING AS ANOTHER REASON IT'S OKAY TO USE. I CAN'T WAIT TO GO TO TREATMENT. BECUASE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LIVE NORMAL WITHOUT DRUGS. I HAVE BEEN CLEAN FOR 14 DAYS. FOR THE LAST ALMOST 5 YEARS MY ADDITION WAS OXYCONTIN. 15-20 80mg A DAY, USING THE NEEDLE. I FEEL LIKE A BABY WHO HAS TO LEARN ALL OVER AGAIN. BUT THIS TIME RIGHT. I HAVE ALOT OF WORK TO DO ON MY SELF FIRST, THEN ON GETTING MY ONE CHILD BACK FROM MY SIS. AND THEN MY 2 KIDS FROM THEIR DAD. I HAVE ALOT OF WRONGS TO UNDO. AND CRIMINAL CHARGES TOO. BUT IN TIME IF I DO THE RIGHT WORK I WILL GET THINGS BACK SLOWLY BUT SURLY. I LOVE MY KIDS VERY MUCH, BUT THEY DESERVE ME CLEAN AND AWAY FROM A MOBSTERS LIFE. I'M SCARED!!!!!!!!
Hey Lizzie,

If you keep doing the next right thing I'm sure you will get your life back. Rehab probably is a great idea. Hang in there and Good luck to you.

Love,
Liz
Lizzie;

I'm sorry for all of the pain you've had to endure as a result of this addiction. Yet I admire your courage in tackling this head-on! Take it one day at a time and life will get better. You already have 14 days - that is huge!

It's normal to be scared...getting clean forces us to step outside of ourselves and confront our demons. No more hiding behind drugs. But it's necessary if we plan to stay clean. Recovery can be a wonderful thing, and while it's not always easy, the rewards are so worth it. My experience has shown me that "I can't do this alone". Reach out to others for help - there's no need to do this alone.

I wish you all the best.

Jim
Gawd Jim, what a funny avitar.........only you could get away with that one.
Hey Lizzie,

Congratulations on 14 days. That's huge. I'm so glad to hear you're going to rehab. One thing you'll learn there is to take one day at a time. Right now I would focus on getting physically and mentally well. The rest will fall into place. I'm sure there is a sense of urgency to reunite with your kids. But try not to over load yourself emotionally. Give yourself a chane to heal and learn new ways to stay clean. It will be a pleasure to watch your progress!

Beck