Me again I can't stop thinking about yesterday and how ugly the day turned out to be...
What hurts me most is that he prefer being with those addicts instead of me. Can someone explain why this is? why he would give up the love of a good woman, even his family for these low lives.. He hadn't seen me in over a month yet he wanted to go back to them.
Has he forgotten everything I have done for him?
What is inside of him? do drugs also take your soul???
Marie,
You have to understand that when a person is in full blown addiction their drug of choice is the primary relationship. They will forsake their children, marriage vows, father, mother, etc. They do not care for anything other than the drugs. I know it is hard to accept but that is exactly what you have to do. The person you knew before the addiction no longer exists. Even if they go into rehab and get clean with a significant amount of sobriety, they will never be that person again. You need to get help for yourself and your childfren. Go to an AL-ANON meetings, get counseling if you can afford it. You are not alone in dealing with these issues, many of us on here are dealing with what you are dealing with. I have had to accept that even though I love my wife and have supported her through the rehab and have continued to support her sobriety that "we" may not make it. It is tragic and I hate to think of the collateral damage that a divorce will have on our family but I have to face that it might be a possibility. We just came out of 109 days of rehab with her, she has been out about 2.5 weeks and she relasped .No she did not go full blown but stole 2 percocets out of her sisters prescription and took them. She told me and called her sponser and plans on telling the counselors, she slipped. I did not beat her up about it , I just told her she was very sick and I hoped she will get better. She did this going to AA meetings everyday.
We can not do it for them. I can't worry about going through everyone's medicine cabinet evrey time we visit someone. Either she will manage it on her own or she won't. But it leaves me with the reality that she could not beat this and I may have to save myself and our child. The thought is heartbreaking but it is the reality of the situation. All I can advise you is to get help for yourself so you can face this with some sanity and make decisions that will help your life and let the addict do the same.
You have to understand that when a person is in full blown addiction their drug of choice is the primary relationship. They will forsake their children, marriage vows, father, mother, etc. They do not care for anything other than the drugs. I know it is hard to accept but that is exactly what you have to do. The person you knew before the addiction no longer exists. Even if they go into rehab and get clean with a significant amount of sobriety, they will never be that person again. You need to get help for yourself and your childfren. Go to an AL-ANON meetings, get counseling if you can afford it. You are not alone in dealing with these issues, many of us on here are dealing with what you are dealing with. I have had to accept that even though I love my wife and have supported her through the rehab and have continued to support her sobriety that "we" may not make it. It is tragic and I hate to think of the collateral damage that a divorce will have on our family but I have to face that it might be a possibility. We just came out of 109 days of rehab with her, she has been out about 2.5 weeks and she relasped .No she did not go full blown but stole 2 percocets out of her sisters prescription and took them. She told me and called her sponser and plans on telling the counselors, she slipped. I did not beat her up about it , I just told her she was very sick and I hoped she will get better. She did this going to AA meetings everyday.
We can not do it for them. I can't worry about going through everyone's medicine cabinet evrey time we visit someone. Either she will manage it on her own or she won't. But it leaves me with the reality that she could not beat this and I may have to save myself and our child. The thought is heartbreaking but it is the reality of the situation. All I can advise you is to get help for yourself so you can face this with some sanity and make decisions that will help your life and let the addict do the same.
Laengr -
I am really sorry to hear about your wife. I am sure after all you have been through, it was a real let down when she relapsed. My bf has been ok so far, but I am so scared about my future with him. He could relapse any day, today, next week, next year, ten years from now. I don't think I can handle going through the heartache of it all again. No, we don't have children together, so, if I break ties, it would be forever. However, I know in your situation, you will have to be in contact with her at least until your child is grown. We all need to think of ourselves more, but I know you are in a difficult situation. No one knows the future is the hardest part for me. I don't like living "one day at a time". I like to be able to have something to look forward to - even if it is years away. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
Marie - the drugs have taken over your boyfriend's mind. He no longer exists. Until he hits bottom and wants help, there is no hope for having a normal relationship with him. Let go of him in your mind - tell yourself he is no longer a part of your life and do something good for yourself today. Worrying about something never solved anything.
I am really sorry to hear about your wife. I am sure after all you have been through, it was a real let down when she relapsed. My bf has been ok so far, but I am so scared about my future with him. He could relapse any day, today, next week, next year, ten years from now. I don't think I can handle going through the heartache of it all again. No, we don't have children together, so, if I break ties, it would be forever. However, I know in your situation, you will have to be in contact with her at least until your child is grown. We all need to think of ourselves more, but I know you are in a difficult situation. No one knows the future is the hardest part for me. I don't like living "one day at a time". I like to be able to have something to look forward to - even if it is years away. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
Marie - the drugs have taken over your boyfriend's mind. He no longer exists. Until he hits bottom and wants help, there is no hope for having a normal relationship with him. Let go of him in your mind - tell yourself he is no longer a part of your life and do something good for yourself today. Worrying about something never solved anything.
Laengr:
I am so sorry to hear about your wife's relapse. That is my greatest fear, but I'm trying to let it go. It's getting easier and easier to do that as the days go on.
You must have been so disappointed and hurt.
The good thing is she didn't hide it and has been honest about it. That is a very good sign. She obviously doesn't want to continue this behaviour.
I hope she gets herself out of this.
Hang in there and let us know how you are doing!
Marie:
You have to let it go. You have to let him go. It is not something we can ever understand as we are not addicts ourselves. You just have to accept what is and not try to make sense of it as it is not a sensible thing.
I'm sorry you are going through this.
Take care,
Mickey
I am so sorry to hear about your wife's relapse. That is my greatest fear, but I'm trying to let it go. It's getting easier and easier to do that as the days go on.
You must have been so disappointed and hurt.
The good thing is she didn't hide it and has been honest about it. That is a very good sign. She obviously doesn't want to continue this behaviour.
I hope she gets herself out of this.
Hang in there and let us know how you are doing!
Marie:
You have to let it go. You have to let him go. It is not something we can ever understand as we are not addicts ourselves. You just have to accept what is and not try to make sense of it as it is not a sensible thing.
I'm sorry you are going through this.
Take care,
Mickey
