I know this is what Jack has been telling me for years...but im really confused in some ways...i dont know really what is better in a way...i know its long...and been talked about before...but im getting sooo confused now on which side maybe is right...anyone got any opinions again on this ? this is from the watchdog mmt forum:...
ooops...didnt mean to make it THAT long...heres the short of it...
.... science has discovered that with long term opiate addiction (opiates meaning heroin, vicodin, morphine, oxycontin, etc), the brain's natural production of endorphins is shut down. Some patients, especially those with short term addiction histories, will be able, after a few weeks or months of abstinence, to get their natural endorphins back into good working order again, and will begin to gradually improve. However, for many, the damage done is permanent.
This has been demonstrated in many scientific studies involving CT scans of the addicted brain. For these patients, no amount of abstinence, group therapy, meetings, will power, or good intentions will undo the fact that their brains simply will no longer produce endorphins in sufficient quantity to enable them to live a normal, happy life. This is, in fact, very similar to the way in which diabetics require supplemental insulin because their pancreas no longer manufactures insulin. In addition, there are some patients who have never had a normally functioning endorphin system, who have struggled since birth with crippling depression, and who became addicts in an effort to relieve their constant emotional and mental misery. For them, too, abstinent recovery works poorly or not at all.
Methadone is commonly referred to as "replacement" or "substitution" therapy, and most think that this means it is replacing the heroin, etc that the patient was abusing, when in fact, it is replacing the natural endorphins no longer being manufactured by the patient's brain, in the same way synthetic insulin substitutes for that not being made by the diabetic's own organs.
However, for many (not all) MMT patients, long term therapy--even life long--may be needed to maintain recovery. Addiction is a chronic, incurable disease.
great...im doomed....:<
ahhh summer..no one ever around when ya need them...lol...no matter...had a good discussion on the site where Jack recommended...lot to think about...kind of torn on what the best course of action is...think i will drop the next 2 and see how it is then...gets 2 bad then i will adjust...just got to take this one day at a time...tough descision....wanting off of it but wanting to still feel as well as I did on it..hmmppf
Ah, Con, I was on the road and in any event as a non-addict myself I don't know that I can be terribly helpful. If this is just one study I would say the information can be refuted, if it is a compendium of studies I would want to know who conducted them and where.
All I have is this, the best addiction doctor my daughter ever had said it takes a minimum of 18 months for the brain to scan close to what a 'nromal' un-drug-damaged brain would scan in terms of general and endorphin activity, and with long term use it could be as long as three years. He also said that by far the longest recovery time was from methamphetamine, second longest opiates, then cocaine.
I think you should listen to your body and proceed very cautiously...and know we care.
Love ~ M&M
All I have is this, the best addiction doctor my daughter ever had said it takes a minimum of 18 months for the brain to scan close to what a 'nromal' un-drug-damaged brain would scan in terms of general and endorphin activity, and with long term use it could be as long as three years. He also said that by far the longest recovery time was from methamphetamine, second longest opiates, then cocaine.
I think you should listen to your body and proceed very cautiously...and know we care.
Love ~ M&M
Man, those heroin addicts in recovery skip town in the summer.
((((((CON)))))
Con, you've been going through it for so long. I'm so sorry. It has to be like a constant war between yourself and your brain chemicals.
Again, I was never on methadone long term. Just in rehab for a few days several times. I likie methadone a lil too much. I KNEW I'd be in over my head if I went the methadone route and I was no scientific experiemnt for them subbies. Anytime they offer ya a gift certificate to a big corporate plastic smelling store if ya come in for your subbies I knew that wasn't cool.
Con, just my opinion, BUT I so would not drop. What if you are that ONE who from birth had like zip endorphins? Can you maybe give it for the rest of the summer before you drop?
I'm not much help I know. I'm afraid for you. You've done so well why chance it now?
I don't have Jack's e-mail and like ya said he already has told you. He knows. I think Zero Girl and yourself must have the same chemical make-up. I'll use my friends FB to drop her a line to come and weigh in. She'll be of help. Plus I haven't checked on how she is feeling anyway.
Meanwhile woman of shoes please stay sane and serene. I know you're as I said "going through it". Such a tough place to be.
Again sorry I couldn't help, but I can find help. With much admiration and respect, Brynn
((((((CON)))))
Con, you've been going through it for so long. I'm so sorry. It has to be like a constant war between yourself and your brain chemicals.
Again, I was never on methadone long term. Just in rehab for a few days several times. I likie methadone a lil too much. I KNEW I'd be in over my head if I went the methadone route and I was no scientific experiemnt for them subbies. Anytime they offer ya a gift certificate to a big corporate plastic smelling store if ya come in for your subbies I knew that wasn't cool.
Con, just my opinion, BUT I so would not drop. What if you are that ONE who from birth had like zip endorphins? Can you maybe give it for the rest of the summer before you drop?
I'm not much help I know. I'm afraid for you. You've done so well why chance it now?
I don't have Jack's e-mail and like ya said he already has told you. He knows. I think Zero Girl and yourself must have the same chemical make-up. I'll use my friends FB to drop her a line to come and weigh in. She'll be of help. Plus I haven't checked on how she is feeling anyway.
Meanwhile woman of shoes please stay sane and serene. I know you're as I said "going through it". Such a tough place to be.
Again sorry I couldn't help, but I can find help. With much admiration and respect, Brynn
Brynn..first...i wont ask what the hell your doing up at the hour your up if you wont ask why im up at the hour i am...LOL...its 5 am here...on a saturday...got to be somewhere in the middle of the deep night for you...hope everything ok on your side of the pond ?..thanks 4 checking here in..U too M&M....well...as i sit here at 5 bloody o clock in the morning wrapped in a blanket and hoodie...um...ya....its crossed my mind a few times to think maybe i could be that one person without the endos....and by last night at 8pm I had already decided to call doctor a******...i hate it...but this is no way to live...and ive got some living to do latley...may even found a new house...weve been looking for about a year..anyways...this just sucks ...i cant even move...hurt like a b****....and when i stop eating i know the world aint right...and my wife...she dont need to see this or have to handle it...wd's not pretty...and its getting to be almost full blown...uh huh...not going there...ill take discomfort...but i gotta slow this train down.. i think it would be way enuf to jump at a .1 if im going to continue or up it for a bit and get steady ...god though...that prick of a doctor here...he's threatened 3 times to just cut me off...he likes to make me beg...want to spit at him...but...this is just plain stupidity...i dont want to throw everything out the window ...ya, i remember ZG...and we might have similair systems...id be lying like hell if i said i wasnt ready this very minute to go back out...hell I was ready last week...really ready...no playin ...an since its truthful hour...I even went looking..not too hard...but, just the fact im looking and checking the layout..knowing where the dealers are...storing the information...planning it....soooooo...that said...enough might be enough...i just feel like SUCH a loser...ya know ?...hate to admit I might have damaged myself beyond repair...oh like 30 years i would think I didnt..right..and just the fact im out looking and wanting..makes me feel like such a a****** on levels...i dont know...you know what i mean ?...bottom line.. dont like the way i feel right now...rattles aside...im not thinking right ...and that one small ssane part of me thats still hanging on knows its just not worth it...ohhhh clarity...scary...love ya Brynn..and u 2 M&M...i so hate being an addict...i want 2 b normal...i dont want to admit what i am somehow inside...dont want to deal with it sometimes...its all just so lowlife and seedy at times...i just wish i could be normal...thats all....and i am so angry that I might have to live on methadone...that i might have to go to that prick and tell him...ok, you win...I cant get off it...im a junkie and ur right...and watch him smile and be all, see, I KNEW u would be back to beg...auughhh..makes me so pissed off
Con, my heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry you're going through this. It isn't right.
Man, I guess D-Head Doctors are the same all around the globe, right? Hey, didn't those Germans invent methadone? I'm envisioning a Doc like in that film where they drilled I think Dustin Hoffman's teeth with no pain meds.
CON YOU PICK UP BEFORE YOU PICK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know that. It's good you're truthful about it because well you're an honest woman and uh because ya have to be or you would have picked up. Honestly I've been there many times. Weird place to be. Clean for so long and I'm scouting out locations and looking for prostitutes cause God only knows those poor souls know where the drugs are. It's a weird like twilite zone ain't it, BUT when you're sick and need to live and move and don't feel like looking at Doc D-Head where's a girl to go?
You're obviously sick, Con and it's not enough. Why else would you be up at that hour, and uh BTW that was pre-midnight here:) You'd be nesstled lovingly with your wife as you both dreamed of a new house. Visions of sugar plums for cripes sake. You say hoodie in the house plus a blanket you broke my heart. That spells sickness the one we all dread and you're going through it.
Con, you're one of the women I have admired most here. I mean that. Accomplished. In a long term relationship. You have a wife that loves you. He77 chica you went to work in withdrawl for days way back when. You love life and yes you do live it.
Soooooooo, is it just Doctor D-Head you don't want to cave to? We caved to dealers. Saw them look at us like "I knew you'd be back, b*t*h". How many times did we say "Just one more and I'm kicking tomorrow?"
Is it the words "I am an addict?" Well we are. We're just bigger and better ones. Naw, seriously we're the ones got help. If help for your nervous system and brain chemistry is a little methadone then hey it is what it is and screw Doc D-Head cause he'll go home and forget about it. For all we know he's on methadone.
Yep, I put out a call to my friend to get ZG to weigh in. You two do seem so similar in many ways. Man, she is one intellectual lady and she's always LIVING! She goes. She enjoys life. Just like yourself. Hopefully she'll pop in.
Here, I know the big deal is government subsidy and the like. Keeping track of addicts ya know? Alot of people in the lines here b*tch about that and the workers won't let them go down. Money they say. It's all about the money. So I'm not sure how it is there.
Con, you can't suffer like this. Personally I think it takes a bigger person to say "Yeah, dude you were right I can't go on a lousey X amount of mils on this stuff" It's not in your head. You're not being weak. It's REAL and even just for now I would hope you'd up that dose.
Wish I could be there to see you through. It's the worse feeling. Plus this is just me but I've heard other people say the same weaning off that methadone is way worse than weaning off heroin. Kicking is he77.
Why is it tougher for some than others? Probably those endorphins, Con. I believe it. I don't think you DAMAGED yourself. I KNOW you kicked dope and you probably have a brain wired different than alot of other peoples. Probably wired like others as well.
Think of Jack. WWJD? He knows his stuff.
With all my might I am sending love and light to you and your wife to get through this until Doc D-Head gets back to ya. Hey, he's just another person. Probably in his own private hell of some sort. YOU are an extraordinary woman who travels and buys houses and skis and works hard, and speaks two languages and has a shoe closet some Hollywood glamour person would love to have and you're a good friend, lover, and aunt. You're a nurturer, and have a wicked sense of humor. Why in the he77 should you suffer? You shouldn't.
WE PICK UP BEFORE WE PICK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember that.
You haven't.
That'll only take you ten steps back and give Doc D-Head more leverage. Not to mention your wife don't be needing that. You've done too well dear Con.
You need endorphins not insomnia and chills. Right? You so don't need dope. Just stay in your own neck of the woods cause with your luck could you imagine picking up and getting a beat bag? You'd be more mad from beyond the grave and Con as an earthly ghost? That spells Poltergeist!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
Weird I have on a Deutschland shirt. Probably why I could spell noisy ghost. Con, you ever think about working with young people? You're the kind of person my DD would listen to. Seriously. You'd be good getting through to young people.
(((((FEEL BETTER)))))))
Man, I guess D-Head Doctors are the same all around the globe, right? Hey, didn't those Germans invent methadone? I'm envisioning a Doc like in that film where they drilled I think Dustin Hoffman's teeth with no pain meds.
CON YOU PICK UP BEFORE YOU PICK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know that. It's good you're truthful about it because well you're an honest woman and uh because ya have to be or you would have picked up. Honestly I've been there many times. Weird place to be. Clean for so long and I'm scouting out locations and looking for prostitutes cause God only knows those poor souls know where the drugs are. It's a weird like twilite zone ain't it, BUT when you're sick and need to live and move and don't feel like looking at Doc D-Head where's a girl to go?
You're obviously sick, Con and it's not enough. Why else would you be up at that hour, and uh BTW that was pre-midnight here:) You'd be nesstled lovingly with your wife as you both dreamed of a new house. Visions of sugar plums for cripes sake. You say hoodie in the house plus a blanket you broke my heart. That spells sickness the one we all dread and you're going through it.
Con, you're one of the women I have admired most here. I mean that. Accomplished. In a long term relationship. You have a wife that loves you. He77 chica you went to work in withdrawl for days way back when. You love life and yes you do live it.
Soooooooo, is it just Doctor D-Head you don't want to cave to? We caved to dealers. Saw them look at us like "I knew you'd be back, b*t*h". How many times did we say "Just one more and I'm kicking tomorrow?"
Is it the words "I am an addict?" Well we are. We're just bigger and better ones. Naw, seriously we're the ones got help. If help for your nervous system and brain chemistry is a little methadone then hey it is what it is and screw Doc D-Head cause he'll go home and forget about it. For all we know he's on methadone.
Yep, I put out a call to my friend to get ZG to weigh in. You two do seem so similar in many ways. Man, she is one intellectual lady and she's always LIVING! She goes. She enjoys life. Just like yourself. Hopefully she'll pop in.
Here, I know the big deal is government subsidy and the like. Keeping track of addicts ya know? Alot of people in the lines here b*tch about that and the workers won't let them go down. Money they say. It's all about the money. So I'm not sure how it is there.
Con, you can't suffer like this. Personally I think it takes a bigger person to say "Yeah, dude you were right I can't go on a lousey X amount of mils on this stuff" It's not in your head. You're not being weak. It's REAL and even just for now I would hope you'd up that dose.
Wish I could be there to see you through. It's the worse feeling. Plus this is just me but I've heard other people say the same weaning off that methadone is way worse than weaning off heroin. Kicking is he77.
Why is it tougher for some than others? Probably those endorphins, Con. I believe it. I don't think you DAMAGED yourself. I KNOW you kicked dope and you probably have a brain wired different than alot of other peoples. Probably wired like others as well.
Think of Jack. WWJD? He knows his stuff.
With all my might I am sending love and light to you and your wife to get through this until Doc D-Head gets back to ya. Hey, he's just another person. Probably in his own private hell of some sort. YOU are an extraordinary woman who travels and buys houses and skis and works hard, and speaks two languages and has a shoe closet some Hollywood glamour person would love to have and you're a good friend, lover, and aunt. You're a nurturer, and have a wicked sense of humor. Why in the he77 should you suffer? You shouldn't.
WE PICK UP BEFORE WE PICK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember that.
You haven't.
That'll only take you ten steps back and give Doc D-Head more leverage. Not to mention your wife don't be needing that. You've done too well dear Con.
You need endorphins not insomnia and chills. Right? You so don't need dope. Just stay in your own neck of the woods cause with your luck could you imagine picking up and getting a beat bag? You'd be more mad from beyond the grave and Con as an earthly ghost? That spells Poltergeist!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
Weird I have on a Deutschland shirt. Probably why I could spell noisy ghost. Con, you ever think about working with young people? You're the kind of person my DD would listen to. Seriously. You'd be good getting through to young people.
(((((FEEL BETTER)))))))
i dont know how u do it Brynn but no matter how im feeling u always make me laugh and feel better..ok...so I lied...physcally im feeling like rat poop...but my head was laughing...
i know...everything u said is right...and i cant go to work with this kind of wd...not without picking up something....last time i had a bit of evrything to get through and some...this time...nada...holding the line tonight...walking it i suppose...no promises my friend...only promise is i will promise to get to doc d head who is pretty much like ur idea of that german doc ...creepy dude...and stabalize the dose...told my wife if I continue and it goes full blown rattles I would tell doc to take me inpatient for the worse...your right...she so doesnt need to be frightened like this...its terrifying to other people...let alone ourselves...funny...havent been scared like this in years..
oh ya, twilight head and mind...such a weird place to be...been awhile since ive been there...got that ice cube floating in my stomach and a one track mind...comes in waves...enough about that crap...holding on...s***, if i really have to i will just up the damn dose myself...ive got xtra...not alot...but enuf to stop this nonsense....its enough....ur right....and oh would i be pissed to get a bum bag...murder wouldnt even come close...lol...i will do what i can when i can...no promises...even still
hugs my friend...your a pretty awesome lady yourself and ur DD doesnt even know how lucky she is to have u...she will though...give her time...shes got ur genes..minus that damn addict one or whatever...i know she'll be awesome too after the growing pains...and hey Brynn
THANKS...
i know...everything u said is right...and i cant go to work with this kind of wd...not without picking up something....last time i had a bit of evrything to get through and some...this time...nada...holding the line tonight...walking it i suppose...no promises my friend...only promise is i will promise to get to doc d head who is pretty much like ur idea of that german doc ...creepy dude...and stabalize the dose...told my wife if I continue and it goes full blown rattles I would tell doc to take me inpatient for the worse...your right...she so doesnt need to be frightened like this...its terrifying to other people...let alone ourselves...funny...havent been scared like this in years..
oh ya, twilight head and mind...such a weird place to be...been awhile since ive been there...got that ice cube floating in my stomach and a one track mind...comes in waves...enough about that crap...holding on...s***, if i really have to i will just up the damn dose myself...ive got xtra...not alot...but enuf to stop this nonsense....its enough....ur right....and oh would i be pissed to get a bum bag...murder wouldnt even come close...lol...i will do what i can when i can...no promises...even still
hugs my friend...your a pretty awesome lady yourself and ur DD doesnt even know how lucky she is to have u...she will though...give her time...shes got ur genes..minus that damn addict one or whatever...i know she'll be awesome too after the growing pains...and hey Brynn
THANKS...
Hi Con-
Just wondering how you doin? I know sometimes you dont feel like you have the patience or the energy to even type out a note-
but - just know that Im hoping things work out the way you want. You,ve been tricking your brain for a long time, so its going to be a helluva ride. But- you know that going in- -
Just take it slowly- -the older we get the longer it takes the body ,mind ,and spirit to re-align- -and thats if everything was ever aligned correctly( but thats a whole different post)
allthebest!
jack
Just wondering how you doin? I know sometimes you dont feel like you have the patience or the energy to even type out a note-
but - just know that Im hoping things work out the way you want. You,ve been tricking your brain for a long time, so its going to be a helluva ride. But- you know that going in- -
Just take it slowly- -the older we get the longer it takes the body ,mind ,and spirit to re-align- -and thats if everything was ever aligned correctly( but thats a whole different post)
allthebest!
jack
Con,,,,
You are not too far away from me,,,I,ll come over there,n,fcukin cut him off,,fcukin natzi,,,Stay strong babe,n,stop messin wi your own head,,no one on here who knows you wants you suffering,,after i chat t you on FB,,I wished i could do it for you,,,,Though without the head games..lol..xxxxxxxxxxxxEck...
You are not too far away from me,,,I,ll come over there,n,fcukin cut him off,,fcukin natzi,,,Stay strong babe,n,stop messin wi your own head,,no one on here who knows you wants you suffering,,after i chat t you on FB,,I wished i could do it for you,,,,Though without the head games..lol..xxxxxxxxxxxxEck...
Jack, Eck...yes and yes...and oh Eck, would ya mind comin out and taking care of Nazi Doc ? LOL...nooooo, just kidding...but whata great thought !!...theyre must be a international world prick doctor school...anyways, im doing ok...head games ....craving...tired and sick ...the whole crapola..but every now an then its like i taste a bit of what real sleep is...wthout the methadone or smack...and god, if i can make it off and stay off long enough to feel that even for a week...it would be wonderful....i jumped another .2 the other day...guess i should start feeling it soon...but as far as im concerned ...if i can still eat and it stays in, im doing good...in fact im getting FAT...think my wife feels if im eating eveyrthing is fine...lol...maybe shes right...thanks for checking in guys....ya, sometimes i think if my freakin mind would shut up i could hande the rest better...one day at a time
LMAO@Eckie Dee.
Good Lord I come to check on ya Con and Eckie is starting war with the Germans.
Up .2? You'll be feeling better like now!
You had extra and didn't take them? In that State? I give ya huge kudos Con. Feeling like that I'd have ate a bowl of dog poop if I knew it would help.
Hmmmmm, when you feel better I'll analyze that. It kind of seems like in your head you vs Doc G the D-Head. Were you competative as a kid? Never mind my psychobable cause I am psycho.
Just feel better. You got Jello over there? Ginger Ale and crackers? Your wife got ya covered.
Much love to one pretty awesome woman herself.
BTW can't find Zero Girl. She used to be on my friend's FB which I use and I don't see her. Hoping she is O.K. She had an awful medical scare.
Good Lord I come to check on ya Con and Eckie is starting war with the Germans.
Up .2? You'll be feeling better like now!
You had extra and didn't take them? In that State? I give ya huge kudos Con. Feeling like that I'd have ate a bowl of dog poop if I knew it would help.
Hmmmmm, when you feel better I'll analyze that. It kind of seems like in your head you vs Doc G the D-Head. Were you competative as a kid? Never mind my psychobable cause I am psycho.
Just feel better. You got Jello over there? Ginger Ale and crackers? Your wife got ya covered.
Much love to one pretty awesome woman herself.
BTW can't find Zero Girl. She used to be on my friend's FB which I use and I don't see her. Hoping she is O.K. She had an awful medical scare.
LOL...war with the germans...and oh ya...I aint using...really...not me...nope...Im getting better and thats the TRUTH..(smirk)...hell, I can only be truthful these days because I havent anyone to fool anymore...only me...and hell, whats the sense of that...lying to myself is never as fun..lol
well no Brynn, I jumped .2 DOWN again...and i have no idea in the whole wide world why I wont dip into the xtras..and wow, now thats alliteration...actually im not sure if I should really think too much on the WHY of that...and yes Im competative and I know its all about being a stubborn idiot and also...its truthful to say my head relapsed weeks ago and my body is whining and nagging me to get off my butt and go out...but...not yet...not yet...trying to control it...right...ready to rip the paper off the walls sometimes...wife is calling today to see if I can get in to see Doc D.. ..he likes her..so I let her call...and anyways its just plain easier cuz she speaks better german than I do....there are minutes when I think I can make this but then there are these LONG a** hours when I want to scream...go figure...
well no Brynn, I jumped .2 DOWN again...and i have no idea in the whole wide world why I wont dip into the xtras..and wow, now thats alliteration...actually im not sure if I should really think too much on the WHY of that...and yes Im competative and I know its all about being a stubborn idiot and also...its truthful to say my head relapsed weeks ago and my body is whining and nagging me to get off my butt and go out...but...not yet...not yet...trying to control it...right...ready to rip the paper off the walls sometimes...wife is calling today to see if I can get in to see Doc D.. ..he likes her..so I let her call...and anyways its just plain easier cuz she speaks better german than I do....there are minutes when I think I can make this but then there are these LONG a** hours when I want to scream...go figure...
YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU WILL MAKE IT!
You're a strong woman with love and light in her life. You've honored our country valiantly. Dang now if that don't make ya MAKE IT (lol) what will? Audie Murphy? You and Doctor D will be just fine. YOU WILL LOOK HIM IN THE EYE. THOUGHT IS THE HIGHEST VIBRATION. Think Doctor D-Head I'm bigger and badder and you may not see it, but I'm not lying to me cause it's boring. No fun is right.
Con, in all sincerity I feel for you. I remember that s*it. It just don't seem to ever stop. Look at the clock. Same times as last time. Count. Get sick. Crawl. Ache. I would take it from ya if I could.
YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sending that thought out to the universe. You can even tell from your words when ya get jumpy. I remember tha hell.
Love and light and I'm a big a*s thinking "Oh well she just bumped up .02 that'll be alright". I'm a bloomin Einstein I'm so sorry.
MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sending much care to your wife. She has been through it. It must hurt. You've both been awarded with love, care, and concern, and no doubt when you are well laughter. Not many people get that Con.
All I got is a bald dude who if they take out pictures at the Phillies game he says "Oh is this for that show World's Biggest Losers?"
Smile. Be warm and kind to yourself and da*n you keep going chica.
YOU WILL MAKE IT!
You're a strong woman with love and light in her life. You've honored our country valiantly. Dang now if that don't make ya MAKE IT (lol) what will? Audie Murphy? You and Doctor D will be just fine. YOU WILL LOOK HIM IN THE EYE. THOUGHT IS THE HIGHEST VIBRATION. Think Doctor D-Head I'm bigger and badder and you may not see it, but I'm not lying to me cause it's boring. No fun is right.
Con, in all sincerity I feel for you. I remember that s*it. It just don't seem to ever stop. Look at the clock. Same times as last time. Count. Get sick. Crawl. Ache. I would take it from ya if I could.
YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sending that thought out to the universe. You can even tell from your words when ya get jumpy. I remember tha hell.
Love and light and I'm a big a*s thinking "Oh well she just bumped up .02 that'll be alright". I'm a bloomin Einstein I'm so sorry.
MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sending much care to your wife. She has been through it. It must hurt. You've both been awarded with love, care, and concern, and no doubt when you are well laughter. Not many people get that Con.
All I got is a bald dude who if they take out pictures at the Phillies game he says "Oh is this for that show World's Biggest Losers?"
Smile. Be warm and kind to yourself and da*n you keep going chica.
