...passed away today. My ex-husband has had her for the last couple of years but she's stayed with me and my daughter while he'd go out of town at times. When I was active in my alcoholism and addiction I didn't care about anything really, mostly didn't care about myself...and now in recovery I am experiencing grief and loss over this little dog, I'm amazed that my feelings for animals, even nature has been restored...however, there is not a lot of drama and chaos regarding this situation...I am able to be there for my two daughters and despite the sadness, well I feel good at the same time....hope this makes sense.
sorry to hear about the dog VWGirl - and yes your post did make sense.
Animals become a part of our family especially hard to lose them because they give their love so unconditionally.
Animals become a part of our family especially hard to lose them because they give their love so unconditionally.
Hi VW,
Sorry to hear of your dog :(
Thinking of you,
Take care Ginge
Sorry to hear of your dog :(
Thinking of you,
Take care Ginge
Hi Vwgirl.
Sad about your Dog. Its good to hear how you are in touch with your emotions/feelings and those around you. Recovery opens our eyes to a lot of things.
God bless
Lionel
Sad about your Dog. Its good to hear how you are in touch with your emotions/feelings and those around you. Recovery opens our eyes to a lot of things.
God bless
Lionel
So sorry about your little dog VW. Losing an animal that has been part of your family is a difficult thing to go through. I lost my chocolate lab this fall. The day I brought my son to rehab, my sig. other brought my lab to be put to sleep. I got him for my son when he was 10 after my mom died. I still miss him to this day.
Like you said though, the gift is that you care again. There is always a gift. You just need to look. God bless you and your family.
Like you said though, the gift is that you care again. There is always a gift. You just need to look. God bless you and your family.
Thanks everyone, I am a little teary-eyed over reading your posts...I never would've "acted" like I cared before...I would've been drunk and high now because this would've been a situation to check out over...thank goodness it is not that way today (or tonight). I'm really, really tired too...I wonder if it is okay to get this exhausted? Is it normal, or am I just doing too much? I feel really low right now, and sad and I don't think it's just about the loss of a pet; I think I am grieving over the destruction of my marriage and the havoc I wreaked on my daughters and my family while I was out there...I'm isolating tonight, which isn't a real good thing for a recovering alcoholic like me...think I just read the board off and on tonight...for support.
VW. Guilt is the most useless emotion out there. It serves NO purpose and will only bring you down. You have chosen recovery and through your recovery you have shown your children that you can bring yourself out of bad situations by work, perserverance and by faith...these are gifts you have given them. I am so sure taht they are proud of you and glad that you chose this path. Losing your dog has made you feel a host of feelings and this is normal. Grieving is normal and healthy, just don't take on guilt. Stay close to God now. Remember in your weakness, His strength is made perfect. God bless you VW.
VW ((((Hugs to you)))) last sun my mom had to put her cat down of 13 yrs and it affected me profoundly also. It was such a loss to the household. Words can not express my sympathy
Take care
Carol
Take care
Carol
Thank you Gail...I am so grateful that I have that conscious contact and personal relationship with God now; I am never alone....I believe that now. Thank you too for reminding me that this is a process I'm going thru, which also brought to mind that this too (these feelings) shall pass; even though I'm approaching my 3rd year of sobriety/recovery...I am stil so new and continue to "thaw" out.
I'm so sorry sweetie. I'm glad you shared with us.
Pets are such a big part of our lives.I have greived more for a cherished pet 's passing than some family members( the human kind).
It is normal for you to feel so tired. Experiencing loss is very draining, both emotionally and mentally.
Make sure you get into a meeting tomarrow and SHARE about your loss. As you know ....you will hear lots of experience on this one.
We love you hon and are sending you lots of good sober energy.
God is Good.
love,
C
Pets are such a big part of our lives.I have greived more for a cherished pet 's passing than some family members( the human kind).
It is normal for you to feel so tired. Experiencing loss is very draining, both emotionally and mentally.
Make sure you get into a meeting tomarrow and SHARE about your loss. As you know ....you will hear lots of experience on this one.
We love you hon and are sending you lots of good sober energy.
God is Good.
love,
C
(((((Hugs to you VWgirl)))) Our little fur babies are a wonderful part of our lives and I'm sorry to hear of your loss. When my cat died, I made a little photo album, and some mementos over the years ,it really helped with my grief. I also planted a little rose bush in his memory.
Take care hun,
Love LD xoxo
Take care hun,
Love LD xoxo
Hey girl
sounds like the loss of the dog is bringing up other losses in your life. Its OK to grieve over those things just don't get stuck in it.
Its good to remember the havoc and destruction in a healthy way - as in acknowledging what happened and that you're not going to do those behaviours anymore. But you do have to forgive yourself for your mistakes.
I think we do grieve, even the loss of a marriage even if it was bad we grieve the loss of something. We even grieve the loss of our drink or drug - because we are losing something that was part of our lives so long. It IS a loss. Even though it caused chaos and destruction - there is a grief period to be gone through.
Now later in your sobriety this event has brought up those past griefs. Its OK to let yourself go and cry over it if you want. Let the feelings out and rejoice that you CAN feel them even though they hurt.
thinking of you
Idgie
sounds like the loss of the dog is bringing up other losses in your life. Its OK to grieve over those things just don't get stuck in it.
Its good to remember the havoc and destruction in a healthy way - as in acknowledging what happened and that you're not going to do those behaviours anymore. But you do have to forgive yourself for your mistakes.
I think we do grieve, even the loss of a marriage even if it was bad we grieve the loss of something. We even grieve the loss of our drink or drug - because we are losing something that was part of our lives so long. It IS a loss. Even though it caused chaos and destruction - there is a grief period to be gone through.
Now later in your sobriety this event has brought up those past griefs. Its OK to let yourself go and cry over it if you want. Let the feelings out and rejoice that you CAN feel them even though they hurt.
thinking of you
Idgie
Hi again everyone....yes, Idgie you hit it dead-on what I am going thru tonight...the past is coming up for me and I am grieving, finally, I am grieving the losses, whether they were healthy for me or not...you know I never really let myself get attached to our pets, nor did I let myself get attached to people either...I told my former Therapist the only people that I really love in this world are my daughters, that's it...now it's different today I have love in my heart for others besides family members, but it is a very slow process for me. I'm laying another brick in the foundation of my recovery and am very grateful for this board tonight....you know it took me almost losing everything before I stopped ~ and now most of what I lost has come back to me....and I'm actually able to feel, and also label those feelings....early in sobriety I didn't even have a clue, I was so all over the map....thanks again.
Hey VWGirl sorry about the woofa...Chin up remember your HALT"S, put your feet up and have one of them macadamia coffee thingys you have and let the good times roll. You are busy and sometimes if we don't rest then our body says stuff it i'll stop until you are rested. In your case because you were buggered physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually the landing was a bit hard. VWG all work and no play is not a good thing, kick back relax and allow the gratitude for you and how dedicated you are filter back in and recharge your system.
We had a rottweller and when i was on the booze she would sleep on the bed with my wife and head on the bloody pillow snoring , I was so jealous of that dog because my wife had a picture of it in her wallet and not me, id even give it a kick in the butt when my wife wasn't looking, well when i got into recovery it took the poor dog a while to realize that i wasn't a pain in the butt any more and we had a beautiful time together and when she died me and my wife and even the vet were crying on the floor, and a part of me was crying for the butt kicking and as things in recovery pass on especially ones with ties to the drinking days then the past is never far away in our minds, so do what we all need to, don't go in our heads alone as it's not good and post whatever is happening. We all have a past and i need my past so i know not where to go in the future one day at a time.
Hey VWGirl energy to you with every typed letter.....thanks for being you:)
Light and love Zac
We had a rottweller and when i was on the booze she would sleep on the bed with my wife and head on the bloody pillow snoring , I was so jealous of that dog because my wife had a picture of it in her wallet and not me, id even give it a kick in the butt when my wife wasn't looking, well when i got into recovery it took the poor dog a while to realize that i wasn't a pain in the butt any more and we had a beautiful time together and when she died me and my wife and even the vet were crying on the floor, and a part of me was crying for the butt kicking and as things in recovery pass on especially ones with ties to the drinking days then the past is never far away in our minds, so do what we all need to, don't go in our heads alone as it's not good and post whatever is happening. We all have a past and i need my past so i know not where to go in the future one day at a time.
Hey VWGirl energy to you with every typed letter.....thanks for being you:)
Light and love Zac
Thanks Zac, I wasn't too nice to animals or even people especially at the end of my drinking career; I could relate to the story about your dog, my ex-husband still brings up something that happened with a dog we had, it wasn't abusive or anything, it was just mean...however, I could turn it on at work, I should've one an Academy Award...and then come home and turn in to the Wicked Witch of the West to everyone, until I got my stuff and drink...and then I'd cross the line of feeling nice from the coke and alcohol and then I'd be back to the being the Witch... because I was drunkand high; uhhhh, it exhausts me just typing it....
Hey Vw....I am sooo sorry about your puppy. I sometimes think I went overboard with my love for a kitty. I couldn't take care of myself when I was out there so I overcompensated with my stray kitty I picked up. I bought him all kinds of toys....ones he never played with and spent tons of money on crap he never would eat or even look at. I even left Animal Planet on the big screen for him when we left him. Like cats watch TV right??? Crazy I know....but it worked for me. I just had to prove that I could love something even if I couldn't love myself.
Idgie....your post was awesome. I never even thought of it that way but it makes complete sense. We do grieve loss of our DOC. Thanks for your positiveness my pal.
Vally
Idgie....your post was awesome. I never even thought of it that way but it makes complete sense. We do grieve loss of our DOC. Thanks for your positiveness my pal.
Vally
just want to say - there is some amazing healing and recovery going on in this thread.
you guys and gals are just awesome.
Idgie.
you guys and gals are just awesome.
Idgie.
VW Girl,
Hang in there through all the grief. Thoughts your way.
pm
Hang in there through all the grief. Thoughts your way.
pm
