okay..so im 20 yrs old..i have been using oxycontin/percocet/roxicet,for about 5 years..i started out selling them and just messed up. I have always worked full-time,but because of my addiction, have nothing to show for. I have been in rehab/detox twice most recently, In the first 4 years i made no attempt to quit.made it a huge secret so at that time it was only my problem. I have since been to detox, relapsed.and then went to 30day rehab which was the best experience of my LIFE!. i learned so much, but my fault was keeping in touch with the new people i met and had gotten so close to. ALL of them relapsed and would call me high. I got weak and relapsed.
I have since received medical bills from both rehabs. (over 40,000) finding out my insurance didnt pay... I am worse in my addication now than ever.. how will i ever get clean. i realize i took those trips for granted..but i have wanted sobriety since day one..I just have been alone since leaving all my people,places,things..now im using alone..and all this debt. working full-time..ive tryed detoxing at home before..and im just not disciplined enough... AND advice..experience.encouragement.. ANYTHING..would be greatly appreciated
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| AND advice..experience.encouragement.. ANYTHING..would be greatly appreciated |
If it's not the most important thing in your life,you will simply be spinning your wheels another 20 years until there are no choices left.Addiction is a chronolological disease.Many don't want to talk about it because the totality over that little fact is is beyond depressing.The physical abuse ones' body can take by ingesting copious amounts of tylenol mixed in with narcotics and the deprivation we put our health in to get geared up is un thinkinakable.
Yet,we can recover but the sooner we start,the less physical complications they're are.There are not rosey pictures.The general consensus with addiction are jails,institutions, and death.Yet,in the far cries of our addicted mind we will tell ourselves "we're different".We're not.We are actually pretty common.Our minds have put us in such a special class.
Quit talking about rehab as if it's an illusory mandate.Get it as if you're life depends on it.The reason it didn't work was because of you not the rehab.Do what your told to do,go to meetings,suck up the false pride,keep your mouth closed and your ears open and you will have a 60% chance of getting clean,Right now you can curse me,later on you might thank me.Your way has not worked.That's not even debatable.
One thing you do have on your side is age.You will be able to pop back with relative eaze but this again ia a temporary illusion.Each year gets harder,the denial gets more ingrained until your youth is spent up and the guilt is harder to fight off.I don't want to be mean but I want you to see reality.It's far from the endless party you were once promised.
What Tim said is exactly correct. You've used for five years. I used for thirty five years. If I can get clean, so can you.
You just have to want to more than anything else.
I don't think the two trips to rehab were wasted. You maybe see where you went wrong. Now you can do it right.
Sounds like a rehab where you have to pay for it is out of the question now.
Opiate withdrawals won't kill you. And by the way, you CAN do it yourself outside a rehab! Not disciplined enough, my a**. Get thrown in jail and see how fast you detox.
I assume you have been to NA meetings. They're free. I'd suggest you start going like yesterday. There are people there who have been right where you are and can help you... if you are willing to accept the help.
Welcome to the board.
Mark
You just have to want to more than anything else.
I don't think the two trips to rehab were wasted. You maybe see where you went wrong. Now you can do it right.
Sounds like a rehab where you have to pay for it is out of the question now.
Opiate withdrawals won't kill you. And by the way, you CAN do it yourself outside a rehab! Not disciplined enough, my a**. Get thrown in jail and see how fast you detox.
I assume you have been to NA meetings. They're free. I'd suggest you start going like yesterday. There are people there who have been right where you are and can help you... if you are willing to accept the help.
Welcome to the board.
Mark
