I'll be first in line for that drug test..nothing to hide, however, I would pitch a fit if I had to have one.
Elim sweetheart, I hate to burst your bubble but you are not a jerk..no matter how hard you try to be one. You are just too real.
Wanted to add...what happend to a certain thread on the Alkie board? LOL..was that me that did that?
No, that is ALWAYS Elim's fault, evn if there are no actual posts by same on a particular thread. Dang, I missed it.
Nancy, come on back and read. Then go to the family board and talk...it really does help...I swear.
Nancy, come on back and read. Then go to the family board and talk...it really does help...I swear.
Am I the only one who believes that it is not what you say but how you say it?
How does one tell how anything is being said or from where it is coming from?
It isn't like anyone can see the concern in ones eyes or hear the tone of ones voice.
It isn't like anyone can see the concern in ones eyes or hear the tone of ones voice.
To which I would add, messages get to different people in different ways. The kinder, gentler way was not for me...I needed the tell-it-like-it-is way...the make-me-think-hard way...the no BS way.
Sometimes getting pushed to anger is what finally makes things sink in. And coddling never helps anyone...any good codependent learns that...I sure did.
Sometimes getting pushed to anger is what finally makes things sink in. And coddling never helps anyone...any good codependent learns that...I sure did.
Well she never did come back so I guess we'll never know.
It's not the first time I have been told that I take things the wrong way.
Tina - I understand that things can be misconstrued online.
Mom - There is a difference between coddling and compassion.
Coddling an addict is not certainly not good and certain to keep them sick.
My very first NA meeting was several years ago. The woman next to me introduced herself. I was sitting there crying because I was so scared. I told her I was still using. She told me that it was okay. I was still allowed to be there. I thought that was the kindest thing. It made me feel so welcomed and understood. I raised my hand when they asked if there were any newcomers. I shared that I used to drink but quit many years before. I told them that I replaced the alcohol with pain pills. After the meeting a man made it a point to approach me. He said, "sweetheart I hope you know that you relapsed". I was so pissed off. No duh, I just dropped in for a social call. .Instead of saying, welcome and keep coming He had to inform me that I relapsed. I guess he felt it was his duty to tell me. Or maybe not. I did go back again but eventually relapsed. I was afraid to go back to NA this past time. If everyone I encountered was like the man, I would have never gone back. I did remember the kindness of the one woman and her compassion is what sent me back.
Tina - I understand that things can be misconstrued online.
Mom - There is a difference between coddling and compassion.
Coddling an addict is not certainly not good and certain to keep them sick.
My very first NA meeting was several years ago. The woman next to me introduced herself. I was sitting there crying because I was so scared. I told her I was still using. She told me that it was okay. I was still allowed to be there. I thought that was the kindest thing. It made me feel so welcomed and understood. I raised my hand when they asked if there were any newcomers. I shared that I used to drink but quit many years before. I told them that I replaced the alcohol with pain pills. After the meeting a man made it a point to approach me. He said, "sweetheart I hope you know that you relapsed". I was so pissed off. No duh, I just dropped in for a social call. .Instead of saying, welcome and keep coming He had to inform me that I relapsed. I guess he felt it was his duty to tell me. Or maybe not. I did go back again but eventually relapsed. I was afraid to go back to NA this past time. If everyone I encountered was like the man, I would have never gone back. I did remember the kindness of the one woman and her compassion is what sent me back.
Hi Alice,
I just went back and re-read this thread from the beginning, and honestly, I did not see a lack of compassion. In fact, the first several posts were quite welcoming and compassionate, but they also spoke the truth.
Thank you for sharing that story, it's a good reminder for me; I know that I, for one, tend to get snarky sometimes, but mostly I try to just reach out.
I doubt Nancyshurt is still reading as this has all the earmarks of a driveby venting anger and blaming the wrong entity for the problem. I hope she gets the help and support she needs. But if she is still reading my original advice stands, she should pay a visit to the family board and start trying to figure out how to help herself.
Peace~M&M
I just went back and re-read this thread from the beginning, and honestly, I did not see a lack of compassion. In fact, the first several posts were quite welcoming and compassionate, but they also spoke the truth.
Thank you for sharing that story, it's a good reminder for me; I know that I, for one, tend to get snarky sometimes, but mostly I try to just reach out.
I doubt Nancyshurt is still reading as this has all the earmarks of a driveby venting anger and blaming the wrong entity for the problem. I hope she gets the help and support she needs. But if she is still reading my original advice stands, she should pay a visit to the family board and start trying to figure out how to help herself.
Peace~M&M
You're not snarky Mom. I'm just a little oversensitive.
I don't blame anyone for my addiction but me. I knew that I was dealing with an addictive drug from the first prescription. My doc prescribed them 100 at a time (with refills) That was back in the day. As Tim said the restrictions are tighter now. I was suffering with a whiplash and didn't realize or care that they were so addictive. I do wonder why he continued to prescribe them for years after the accident. If the pharmacy techs and cashiers are hip to the addict, shouldn't the doctor be just as wise? Sad to think that he most likely didn't care about me.
I don't blame anyone for my addiction but me. I knew that I was dealing with an addictive drug from the first prescription. My doc prescribed them 100 at a time (with refills) That was back in the day. As Tim said the restrictions are tighter now. I was suffering with a whiplash and didn't realize or care that they were so addictive. I do wonder why he continued to prescribe them for years after the accident. If the pharmacy techs and cashiers are hip to the addict, shouldn't the doctor be just as wise? Sad to think that he most likely didn't care about me.
I understand her anger and the typical response of a parent is to blame others,ie.friends,doctors etc.
The typical response of a lot of addicts is to blame their drs. etc. for their addiction.I did.I was so full of s*** it wasn't even funny.
The truth is their are very few times in my life I've needed anything stronger than codeine.I liked opiates and I liked the way they made me feel.
Until you can own up to that fact,you will be a rat chasing your tail.Even if you choose the program,you still can remain a rat.Self honesty is a b**** and that is the essential ingredient in any recovery.
Own up to the fact you like to get high and quit trying to twist the story so that the "doctor made me do it." It has a two sheet readout on all pharamaceuticals what the side effects are.Guess what? On things like Vicodin and even Xanax it says that these drugs are not to be used for more than 7 days.That's not a lot of time.So you go back to the doctor,pay the his fee and say I'm still in pain and he writes you a script for 60 or 100.They treat symptoms and that's how they make money.It's not a huge mystery.
Not everybody likes opiates either.Some people have awful reactions to them.I believe addicts are born with different brain chemistries.I've really done the whole gamut of drugs and my brain connects with most of them. That is not in a good way.I believe I have an allergy to anything that changes my brain chemistry.
And the sad case with me is that through years of drug abuse my brain is permenanently f***ed up.So people say to me Tim get on an AD but the fact is I don't want anything else again in my life messing with whatever I've f***ed up.
Some days I'm a bloody mess and I come home and cry,usually about nothing and then I'll just start laughing because I realize I am victim of my own self.Right now it's the heat.Every June and July I go through this seasonal depression.I'm all hyper and loving life Oct-May,then one day it's 80 and comfortable and the next day it's 92 with humdity levels of 95% and an almost 80% dewpoint and then I realize that my Central air has been out for the last 3 years and all I have is a wall unit.I live my life sweating.
So,now I must go out and pretend that all is beautiful and put on a happy face.
But you know what could be worse? Going through withdrawls with this humidity.Now that would be real special.So see? Now,I'm a little more grateful.
The typical response of a lot of addicts is to blame their drs. etc. for their addiction.I did.I was so full of s*** it wasn't even funny.
The truth is their are very few times in my life I've needed anything stronger than codeine.I liked opiates and I liked the way they made me feel.
Until you can own up to that fact,you will be a rat chasing your tail.Even if you choose the program,you still can remain a rat.Self honesty is a b**** and that is the essential ingredient in any recovery.
Own up to the fact you like to get high and quit trying to twist the story so that the "doctor made me do it." It has a two sheet readout on all pharamaceuticals what the side effects are.Guess what? On things like Vicodin and even Xanax it says that these drugs are not to be used for more than 7 days.That's not a lot of time.So you go back to the doctor,pay the his fee and say I'm still in pain and he writes you a script for 60 or 100.They treat symptoms and that's how they make money.It's not a huge mystery.
Not everybody likes opiates either.Some people have awful reactions to them.I believe addicts are born with different brain chemistries.I've really done the whole gamut of drugs and my brain connects with most of them. That is not in a good way.I believe I have an allergy to anything that changes my brain chemistry.
And the sad case with me is that through years of drug abuse my brain is permenanently f***ed up.So people say to me Tim get on an AD but the fact is I don't want anything else again in my life messing with whatever I've f***ed up.
Some days I'm a bloody mess and I come home and cry,usually about nothing and then I'll just start laughing because I realize I am victim of my own self.Right now it's the heat.Every June and July I go through this seasonal depression.I'm all hyper and loving life Oct-May,then one day it's 80 and comfortable and the next day it's 92 with humdity levels of 95% and an almost 80% dewpoint and then I realize that my Central air has been out for the last 3 years and all I have is a wall unit.I live my life sweating.
So,now I must go out and pretend that all is beautiful and put on a happy face.
But you know what could be worse? Going through withdrawls with this humidity.Now that would be real special.So see? Now,I'm a little more grateful.
The worst thing you can do for an addict is pat them on the butt and then blow smoke up it. Yes, there is a difference between coddling and compassion but there's also a difference between telling the truth and not.
We share what works for us. We share what we have learned and works for others like us. That requires straight up talk..no bs.
When people were nice to me and said "oh you poor thing"...I used more. Gave me an excuse to feel sorry for myself. Why not? Everyone else did! When other addicts started calling me on my own crap (thank you David and a lot of others on this board, you know who you are), I learned how to own up to it and then do something about it.
We share what works for us. We share what we have learned and works for others like us. That requires straight up talk..no bs.
When people were nice to me and said "oh you poor thing"...I used more. Gave me an excuse to feel sorry for myself. Why not? Everyone else did! When other addicts started calling me on my own crap (thank you David and a lot of others on this board, you know who you are), I learned how to own up to it and then do something about it.
