I just saw that you are going thru a really tough time. Please don't beat yourself up over this. Like i have said before and i will say it again... you are a good, good person. Now you gotta pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get back on track. I know how tough that had to be admitting relapse,and Lady Pam I am so very very proud of you! I am dealing with similar issues right now... tomorrow's wisdom teeth surgery. If it weren't for my husband going to the pharmacy Friday to get the amoxicillin filled i know that i would be on pills right now... there is absolutely no doubt in my mind about that. I was so mad at him when he wouldn't let me pick them up... and that really scared me. Even after going to a meeting right after i got a script i still had major cravings... this is the worst it has been in a year... and that is terrifying to me. All i know is that we are in this together and please don't ever feel ashamed to come on here and let us know how you are feeling and what is going thru your mind. Our minds are our worst enemies. I just wanted you to know that i am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and that i am here for you.
Love,
Bri :)
Thanks Lady Bri, your husband did the right thing and I am so proud that you are not taking any pills for pain. This crap sucks and of course I have never tried to taper before but I'm doing really good today. I've still ony taken one and a half of a pill today but I'm starting to feel bad physically so I guess that my body is telling me that it is time to take another half. I'm hanging on for dear life. Thanks for posting to me. Have a great afternoon and I wish you much luck with your dental procedure tomorrow. You will do just fine.
Bri, I had my wisdom teeth removed about 7 years ago and the pain was very mild. I did not need pain pills, not even advil. Every procedure is different, but I just thought you would like to know. The worst of it was having chipmunk cheeks. Good luck. Take care, Atlas
Hey Atlas, aren't you married to a doctor? Anyhow, didn't you use or aren't you using Suboxone as a tool? I'm just curious, sorry for asking so many questions.
Pam, My husband is a doctor (although he doesn't prescribe sub). I have been on sub for almost 3 weeks. I had a 150-170mg per day oxycodone habit. No such thing as too many questions, I'd be happy to help any way I can. Sub has been a lifesaver for me. It stops the cravings and allows me to feel normal. I plan on staying on it for at least a couple more months before tapering down.
Hi Atlas! Again, good advise. Just wanted to stop in and say hi to ya chicka:)
Wendy
Wendy
Pam that quote subox as a tool?
You are different as you suffer from chronic pain. so you have 3 diseases to attack
1. addiction
2. depression
3. chronic pain
Suboxene will help you. Whether AA?NA is for you? It cant hurt. i wish you could get into a therapy group like I had.
It was one flew over the cuckoos nest. It was funny --educational --scary lots of emotions as the hospital is mental hospital.
It was not the suboxene that saved me it was the combo of meds working with doc-to get my sleep back--therapy meetings---change of LIFESTYLE
Pam this is just my opinion but ever since you welcomed me to this board you have been sick.
You have to fight through the pain. Lying in bed is no good. I had migranes for many years. There is something causing all your health issues.
Obviously you cannot fix them all but you can do something to help yourself. Just makes me sad that it seems like your diseases are beating you up.
Pam it takes a lot to fight what you have. For me Pam I just woke up one day and said life is to short. And I sTARTED MAKING CHANGES.
Leaving my girls? you want to talk about Hard? But my marriage was 50% of my problem. If you saw what I gave up and where i live now --sacrifice.
I love my kids. Did it for them as well as myself--Long story.
Anyway I am writing this in hopes that you will start to look at what is causing your health issue's and attack them one by one.
I know some days you cant get out of bed. I have days like that but not as many as before.
Take care--Jeff
You are different as you suffer from chronic pain. so you have 3 diseases to attack
1. addiction
2. depression
3. chronic pain
Suboxene will help you. Whether AA?NA is for you? It cant hurt. i wish you could get into a therapy group like I had.
It was one flew over the cuckoos nest. It was funny --educational --scary lots of emotions as the hospital is mental hospital.
It was not the suboxene that saved me it was the combo of meds working with doc-to get my sleep back--therapy meetings---change of LIFESTYLE
Pam this is just my opinion but ever since you welcomed me to this board you have been sick.
You have to fight through the pain. Lying in bed is no good. I had migranes for many years. There is something causing all your health issues.
Obviously you cannot fix them all but you can do something to help yourself. Just makes me sad that it seems like your diseases are beating you up.
Pam it takes a lot to fight what you have. For me Pam I just woke up one day and said life is to short. And I sTARTED MAKING CHANGES.
Leaving my girls? you want to talk about Hard? But my marriage was 50% of my problem. If you saw what I gave up and where i live now --sacrifice.
I love my kids. Did it for them as well as myself--Long story.
Anyway I am writing this in hopes that you will start to look at what is causing your health issue's and attack them one by one.
I know some days you cant get out of bed. I have days like that but not as many as before.
Take care--Jeff
Thanks Atlas, my husband is a doctor too and he can't prescribe Suboxone either. Oh well, I don't know if I would take it if he wrote out the script anyhow. He'd probably try to kill me. Na, I'm just in a funk today. Thanks for answering my questions. Girl, I did the Oxy w/d the first of the year and that was some bad stuff. If a person can survive that, then they can survive anything and I guarantee you that I won't ever put another Oxy in my mouth. Noway Hosay........I had an appointment with a Sub doctor back in Aug and I cancelled as I was only taking one Lortab a day and I just quit cold turkey. The w/d weren't bad at all and really only lasted about 3 or 4 days, but I've been taking more than one this go around and I think that I am going to have to give that doctor a call back. The thing here is, the doctor is over an hour away and if I remember correctly, they don't take insurance and he wants 675 bucks for my first visit and I have to go to councelling 3 times a week over near his office, the meetings/councelling are at night and I go to bed early and they charge either 25 or 50 bucks per session and then I have to follow up with the doctor once a week at another 175 bucks a pop and God only knows how long he will try to keep me on the stuff, probably forever at those prices. Oh yeah, the medicine/suboxone is another prescription, they don't give it out in his office. This doctor is located in Navarre, Florida and that is near Pensacola, Florida. Dr. Beach is the doctors name. Don't know too much about him as there are not many Sub docs around here and you certainly don't hear of anyone talking about going on or being on Sub in my area. The damn Pharmacy probably doesn't even carry Sub in my town. I know the nurse at the doctors office told me that the drug store in Navarre had the medicine. It just sounds like a pain in the rump to go thru this program that has been offered to me back in Aug. Plus, the doctor gets a cut off of the councelling sessions because he is affiliated with that get up. Anyhow, sorry for rambling on and on, just trying to get my act together down here in the Sunshine State.
Pam, I just now read about all you have been going thru. I am sorry to hear about your relapse, but please don't beat yourself up over it. This will be a difficult time for you, but you will get thru it, and be stronger because of it.
I think Jeff is giving you great advice. I also agree that you might benefit from sub. There are people in my sub group that have pain issues. They all seem to agree that they are benefitting from taking sub. I think it is definatly something worth checking into. Let me know if I can help in any way. Take care, Atlas
I think Jeff is giving you great advice. I also agree that you might benefit from sub. There are people in my sub group that have pain issues. They all seem to agree that they are benefitting from taking sub. I think it is definatly something worth checking into. Let me know if I can help in any way. Take care, Atlas
I just hate how these dr's get affiliated with certain places and then make a profit off of you.
When I had my ovaries removed in February I HAD to use the surgery center that my doctor was part owner in. The stay wasn't worth a crap...they brought cold food in over from the hospital next door, which I still don't understand why I couldn't have had my surgery done there, but needless to say, I didn't give them a very high rating when they sent out their survey. The answer time on a buzz to the nurses was usually 20 minutes. It sucked big time and I was happy to get home and recuperate on my own.
When I had my ovaries removed in February I HAD to use the surgery center that my doctor was part owner in. The stay wasn't worth a crap...they brought cold food in over from the hospital next door, which I still don't understand why I couldn't have had my surgery done there, but needless to say, I didn't give them a very high rating when they sent out their survey. The answer time on a buzz to the nurses was usually 20 minutes. It sucked big time and I was happy to get home and recuperate on my own.
Pam,
How much Lortab are you trying to come off of and what are you going to take for pain if anything? If I'm too nosey it's okay you don't have to answer. I'm just wondering if you really need sub.
peace,
pm
How much Lortab are you trying to come off of and what are you going to take for pain if anything? If I'm too nosey it's okay you don't have to answer. I'm just wondering if you really need sub.
peace,
pm
Thanks Atlas, yes mam, Jeff has some good pointers. I have Fibromyalgia and RA and I suffer from Thrombocytopenia and Luekopenia. God, I hope that I spelled that right. Your hubby can look it up and he will know what I'm talking about. Heck, you may even know. Anyhow I get injections of ...........hang on.......I'll think of it.....I'm having a fibro fog right now.....can't think clearly......
Okay, I get an injection of Nuepogen, hope that I spelled that one right too, when my white cells get low. My bone marrow has permanant damage to it because of God only knows what. Well, the Nuepogen makes you hurt like heck for a week or so afterwards, it causes bone pain, I guess from jump starting the bone marrow into making the white cells.
Sorry that I had a hard time getting all of that out. I know that I will make it past this hump, I've just got to hang on for now. Thanks for posting to me.
Okay, I get an injection of Nuepogen, hope that I spelled that one right too, when my white cells get low. My bone marrow has permanant damage to it because of God only knows what. Well, the Nuepogen makes you hurt like heck for a week or so afterwards, it causes bone pain, I guess from jump starting the bone marrow into making the white cells.
Sorry that I had a hard time getting all of that out. I know that I will make it past this hump, I've just got to hang on for now. Thanks for posting to me.
Pam, I travel 75 min. each way to my sub Dr. My first visit was $208, and follow up visits are $90 and that includes a pee test and group. Maybe you can find somewhere cheaper. See if you can find an addictionologist. Maybe they will let you substitute counseling sessions with na, or go to counseling somewhere closer to home. The sub itself costs $3 per 2 mg pill. You might only need 4mg per day since you have not been using for very long, and not in extremely high amounts. If you can't find it cheaper, it would still be worth it, especially if they will let you get your therapy closer to home. I was getting my sub filled at the hospital that the clinic is affiliated with. Last time I went, the pharmacy and most all of the hospital was closed for a football game. The stadium is right by the hospital. I was completely out and really angry about everything being closed for a football game. I finally found a pharmacy that carried it, but they only had 30 pills. I didn't want to drive all the way back to the hospital the following day, so I asked a pharmacy to order it for me. The pharmicist didn't even know what it was, but she finally agreed to order it and keep it stocked for me. I just have to let her know when I need it, and how many. So that is also a possibility. Also, many people in my group have insurance that does pay for this. It could be that this Dr. does not bill insurance. Call your insurance company to be sure. Let me know if I can help in any way. Take care, Atlas
Hey PM, I just saw your post, dang, I don't know how I missed yours and Janet's. Anyhow, I have been taking anywhere from 4-6, 7.5mg Lortabs a day. Of course my bottle says to take 2 every three to four hours and I am NOT doing that. It has been going on for a couple of weeks now and of course I'm tapering and it is making me sick. The dang pills don't make me feel worth a flip either, I think that they exacerbate, hell, is that a word, the depression and pain. Guess you can tell that I am taking pills, just look at my stupid typing and the crazy words. I'll just start a new dictionary with new words that I come up with.
To be really honest, I don't know what I'm going to do about the pain issues if I don't get on Sub and if it doesn't help with the pain. I'm really lost on this one and that is why I am asking soooo many questions. You know, when I first came here, there weren't very many people taking or talking about taking Sub and now we are getting quite a bit of input from people that have given it a shot. I'm really glad that people are opening up to this concept/tool. No prob with all of the questions, that is why we are all here. Recovery Talk and Relapse Talk......we are back on topic..
To be really honest, I don't know what I'm going to do about the pain issues if I don't get on Sub and if it doesn't help with the pain. I'm really lost on this one and that is why I am asking soooo many questions. You know, when I first came here, there weren't very many people taking or talking about taking Sub and now we are getting quite a bit of input from people that have given it a shot. I'm really glad that people are opening up to this concept/tool. No prob with all of the questions, that is why we are all here. Recovery Talk and Relapse Talk......we are back on topic..
Dang Jeff, I missed your post too. I'm telling you, I am not right today but I'm doing much better than I was earlier. Hubby is off of my arse....... and I have only taken two pills as of this posting, so I must say that this is better than the previous days. My body is aching a little and my gut is hurting but the Immodium is keeping everything in check. Well, you know what I mean.
Yeah Jeff, I know, I have some major medical issues and I slacked up on my meetings AGAIN and look what happened. Really, I do have a good group where my beach house is at and I need to get back to them but I have got to start feeling better physically before I jump back in. I won't ever forget going to meetings in Detox and not being able to sit through them because I had the running trots and was soooooooooo sick........Never again on that one. That was the most humiliating time in my life. And to think, I went and drove myself to detox after dropping my hubby off at the airport for a nice vacation. I checked my own self in voluntarally and they didn't even know how to take care of a patient addicted to Oxycontin. WTF with that crap? Well, I lived to talk about it and I can promise you that I won't go down that road again. This trip isn't quite as bumpy, needless to say, it is no walk in the park either.
Jeff, I wish you would have invited me to your "one flew over the coo coo's nest" sessions. Dang, now I know where you learned all of your tricks from. You are one tough dude and I really commmend you for the way you deal with addiction and pain. Pain bites and so does addiction. Could I stay on meds for life? You betcha, but I don't want pain meds, I want to think and act clearly.
By the way, what in the world are you doing up and posting? So sad that Miami just lost. What a bummer.
Yeah Jeff, I know, I have some major medical issues and I slacked up on my meetings AGAIN and look what happened. Really, I do have a good group where my beach house is at and I need to get back to them but I have got to start feeling better physically before I jump back in. I won't ever forget going to meetings in Detox and not being able to sit through them because I had the running trots and was soooooooooo sick........Never again on that one. That was the most humiliating time in my life. And to think, I went and drove myself to detox after dropping my hubby off at the airport for a nice vacation. I checked my own self in voluntarally and they didn't even know how to take care of a patient addicted to Oxycontin. WTF with that crap? Well, I lived to talk about it and I can promise you that I won't go down that road again. This trip isn't quite as bumpy, needless to say, it is no walk in the park either.
Jeff, I wish you would have invited me to your "one flew over the coo coo's nest" sessions. Dang, now I know where you learned all of your tricks from. You are one tough dude and I really commmend you for the way you deal with addiction and pain. Pain bites and so does addiction. Could I stay on meds for life? You betcha, but I don't want pain meds, I want to think and act clearly.
By the way, what in the world are you doing up and posting? So sad that Miami just lost. What a bummer.
Jeff, when you get a chance email me, please..........got a question for ya. Nuttin bad.
pamgottleib@yahoo.com
pamgottleib@yahoo.com
Pam,
I have days like that too. Somehow though we do have to make the hard choices like Jeff was saying. We have to wake up and say "yes" to life. To accept where we are, look at what we can take responsiblity for and change for the betterment of our day to day living, and then begin to take baby steps or giant steps depending on what what we have to do to in order to begin to exert movement in our lives. Once the momentum begins it has a life of it's own. Being in bed day by day isn't living. Is is not the number of days we have here that counts but he quality in which we dance with those days. The rhythm of our life is the day to day mood or tone we set and it affects us and our health. It's our mental state, our spiritual state, our balance if you will. Sometimes like for you today it gets out of wack. That is true for everyone. But if it is out of wack more than in check 9 times out of 10, then we have to just start making a change and making a change and making a change until something feels right. It can be the wrong change for we are bound to make mistakes. Just make a change.
I too deal with health problems and pain issues. I don't really have the answers on how to deal with it. I made lots of changes in the last few months. Hard choices but necessary. I will have more to make. Harder I suppose. The main thing I am doing is trying to get the inner me in check and strong, then I know it will all be alright. It sometimes takes awhile to find that stride. But I wish you the best. Keep taking deep breathes, getting quiet and looking inside at what you really need to do for you. Then build the support you need and do it.
I do wish you the best. Whether it's sub or something else. I know it's not easy. I asked about your Vicodin use because I wondered if you stepped outside your actual rx limit or outside your personal limit. If you took them for a buzz or for the actual pain. I know weaning isn't so fun.
peace,
pm
I have days like that too. Somehow though we do have to make the hard choices like Jeff was saying. We have to wake up and say "yes" to life. To accept where we are, look at what we can take responsiblity for and change for the betterment of our day to day living, and then begin to take baby steps or giant steps depending on what what we have to do to in order to begin to exert movement in our lives. Once the momentum begins it has a life of it's own. Being in bed day by day isn't living. Is is not the number of days we have here that counts but he quality in which we dance with those days. The rhythm of our life is the day to day mood or tone we set and it affects us and our health. It's our mental state, our spiritual state, our balance if you will. Sometimes like for you today it gets out of wack. That is true for everyone. But if it is out of wack more than in check 9 times out of 10, then we have to just start making a change and making a change and making a change until something feels right. It can be the wrong change for we are bound to make mistakes. Just make a change.
I too deal with health problems and pain issues. I don't really have the answers on how to deal with it. I made lots of changes in the last few months. Hard choices but necessary. I will have more to make. Harder I suppose. The main thing I am doing is trying to get the inner me in check and strong, then I know it will all be alright. It sometimes takes awhile to find that stride. But I wish you the best. Keep taking deep breathes, getting quiet and looking inside at what you really need to do for you. Then build the support you need and do it.
I do wish you the best. Whether it's sub or something else. I know it's not easy. I asked about your Vicodin use because I wondered if you stepped outside your actual rx limit or outside your personal limit. If you took them for a buzz or for the actual pain. I know weaning isn't so fun.
peace,
pm
Hi ya Pam,
Hope you had a better day today.. And yes I am the one who went off methadone....Call me Krazi, thats what everyone else does.
Had a talk with my 17 yo last night, he says he will talk to his brother..But I guess now I have to stay out of it..well as much as I can.I always have a way of staying in their biz..LOL
Hope you had a better day today.. And yes I am the one who went off methadone....Call me Krazi, thats what everyone else does.
Had a talk with my 17 yo last night, he says he will talk to his brother..But I guess now I have to stay out of it..well as much as I can.I always have a way of staying in their biz..LOL
Pm, I didn't take them to get high but I was just sick of having taken at least 3 by lunchtime everyday. I just think that is too much. Just like today, I've only taken 2 but I still feel that it is two too many. Yes, I hurt, even when I am clean and I can harldy move without some assistance most days. What just kills me is the fact that my husband works in the medical field and he has NO empathy or sympathy for me and he really knows that I have got some major medical issues and then he makes me feel sooooooooo guilty for everything that I do. For instance, just sitting on this site and talking to you guys just pisses him off good. He thinks I'm in a damn porn room selling my soul to the devil, like he would want my scrawny a$$... anyhow, he just doesn't understand this computer and my attraction to this great web site and I am tired of trying to make him get it so I just keep on key punching. Thanks for your post, it is really touching and I know that you have major pain issues and I just don't know how you deal with them.
Pam,
Me either. lol. I am trying to build up my physical body. I had a water PT program for hot water therapy but it ran out. Wawwh. And regular PT. I do love to swim though and it keeps my body moving better. I have to force myself there which is a battle sometimes. I do take Norco tid. It doesn not help much and I sometimes I come off of it but then I usually get to the point of not being able to walk and have to return. I know if I take more I will need more. So I just want to be able to walk. This cold here really is killing me. This is the first winter I haven't ran to Brazil about now and all my joints are affected. I don't know. I just try real hard to work with my body in anyway I think will keep it moving and work to keep my core, my inner self at peace. Luckily I'm not married so that takes away alot of stress. I don't have a magic bullet for ya. Somedays I have bad days also. But I did leave my bf's and my life in the mtns. and totally make changes for the sake of my body and my inner self. Felt selfish at the time but yesterday I walked through the mall and about 6-12 months ago I remember being in that same mall and walking maybe 3 windows down and havng to leave because I could not breath well, felt bad, almost fainted and was sick. So that's showing me when I listen within I do have a few answers. You do too.
peace,
pm
Me either. lol. I am trying to build up my physical body. I had a water PT program for hot water therapy but it ran out. Wawwh. And regular PT. I do love to swim though and it keeps my body moving better. I have to force myself there which is a battle sometimes. I do take Norco tid. It doesn not help much and I sometimes I come off of it but then I usually get to the point of not being able to walk and have to return. I know if I take more I will need more. So I just want to be able to walk. This cold here really is killing me. This is the first winter I haven't ran to Brazil about now and all my joints are affected. I don't know. I just try real hard to work with my body in anyway I think will keep it moving and work to keep my core, my inner self at peace. Luckily I'm not married so that takes away alot of stress. I don't have a magic bullet for ya. Somedays I have bad days also. But I did leave my bf's and my life in the mtns. and totally make changes for the sake of my body and my inner self. Felt selfish at the time but yesterday I walked through the mall and about 6-12 months ago I remember being in that same mall and walking maybe 3 windows down and havng to leave because I could not breath well, felt bad, almost fainted and was sick. So that's showing me when I listen within I do have a few answers. You do too.
peace,
pm
