We are parents of a recovering 26 year old heroin addict who is 2 months clean and on vivitrol. She is currently living with us and working two part time jobs. I would like to go away for an overnight with my husband but he feels it is risky to do so at this time. He also would not be able to relax. How long should we put our lives on hold for her without feeling anxious or guilty for going away?
Dear Sports girl. ...I am glad your daughter is doing well at the moment....I hope by now you realize your family life is forever changed.. I understand your husband's concern..but the truth of the matter is if she wants to use she's going to use whether you are there or not.At 26 years of age if she is working 2 part time jobs she is able to leave the house ....it is her demon to battle, of course do all you can to support her being clean...but she is the one that must make up her mind to be clean....she.must change her patterns her friends. ....is she going for support counseling...Right now your husband isn't comfortable and would not enjoy himself going away....give it some more time...educate yourself go for support meetings....I hope she continues her recovery. ..but realize there may be relapses. ..it takes time ...You will know when you feel comfortable in going...Right now your not even sure about going....give it more time so when you do go you won't be on edge...
Christophers Mom,
Thanks for the reply. Yes, she is in counseling and I feel the same that she will use if she wants to no matter what. My husband realizes this is his issue and just like you he asked me to give him time. This is such a crazy roller coaster of a ride but I am just trying to make sure we make time for us while still being supportive to our daughter.
Thanks for the reply. Yes, she is in counseling and I feel the same that she will use if she wants to no matter what. My husband realizes this is his issue and just like you he asked me to give him time. This is such a crazy roller coaster of a ride but I am just trying to make sure we make time for us while still being supportive to our daughter.
It is true that this is a family disease.
Everybody is affected by the addicition of the so called loved one.
It is really good that you realize that the addiction of your daughther should not be all consuming.
There is only so much you can do and the rest is really up to her.
I can't imagine how much I have changed in these past years dealing with an addict.
We change as we go and we grow and we finally accept that we have no control over the addcition.
It is just a good lesson in detachment.
It is painful and it takes time but we eventually grow.
The people who decide to be supportive and help the addict MUST work on themselves, on boundaries, on coodependency...
The entourage must make sure they do not also become victim of the monster of addiction.
You can try to help the victim but do not become also a victim.
As many people suggest it on the message board it is very important to go to support group or if you have the money maybe consult a therapist that is expert in that area.
I wish you a lot of strength and I hope that you also keep living your life while helping your daughter.
Everybody is affected by the addicition of the so called loved one.
It is really good that you realize that the addiction of your daughther should not be all consuming.
There is only so much you can do and the rest is really up to her.
I can't imagine how much I have changed in these past years dealing with an addict.
We change as we go and we grow and we finally accept that we have no control over the addcition.
It is just a good lesson in detachment.
It is painful and it takes time but we eventually grow.
The people who decide to be supportive and help the addict MUST work on themselves, on boundaries, on coodependency...
The entourage must make sure they do not also become victim of the monster of addiction.
You can try to help the victim but do not become also a victim.
As many people suggest it on the message board it is very important to go to support group or if you have the money maybe consult a therapist that is expert in that area.
I wish you a lot of strength and I hope that you also keep living your life while helping your daughter.
