It's so hard being back at home. My mom doesn't realize what it is I am going through. I need space, alone time. You just can't have that with your mom when you are trying to share 700 square feet. She says that she is stressed. She's put her back out again, is expecting me to follow her around and do everything for her, pick up after her, take care of her. All I need to do is look after me. I'm fighting every minute of everyday with myself. I don't need to fight it with her too. She says she understands. How can you understand something you have never been through yourself. I'm streched as it is. Working to stay clean. Getting school work done. I just got a new job. Feeling alone. Paranoid that she is watching everything I do. My life has no privacy anymore. It hasn't for a long time. Her stress work, some friend with diebities who is charging is son with fraud, and my sister. Am I there no. Half of her concerns don't even concern her. Just like the rest of time I've known her, I'm not even there as a worry. In a way I thought using would get her attention, make her care about me. It hasn't worked yet, and maybe it never will. I go through goods and bads. Right now is a bad. It's about me. Not her, my sister, or anyone else. I can't deal with this now. God I want to be stoned so bad right now. If only ...
BabyCakes
God babycakes,you have no idea how much I wish I was in your shoes,my mum is dead and I miss her so much and I know that if she was alive I would be able to go home and she would help me with this horrible drug addiction I have and by reading your post,you sound like you are clean and that is where I would love to be,funny isnt it,you have what I would love and Im doing what you would love to be doing.
Anyway Babycakes try and keep your chin up and congrulations on your new job(another thing I would love to have),later,
ChadO.
Anyway Babycakes try and keep your chin up and congrulations on your new job(another thing I would love to have),later,
ChadO.
Hey babycakes
I too have to deal with all my moms stuff. Its awful!! She's going through menopause at the moment and she doesn't understand that it is absolute hell to be around her sometimes. Her miserable mood that she's in half the time makes me want to run the other direction 99% of the time. Once in a while I blow up at her and tell her how terrible she's acting, then she fights with me and tells me I am in the wrong and that I must go and get over my PMS. Its bloody hell. Then on the other odd occasions she's like all fine and acts like everything in the world is just great - very rare occasions shes like this. Its honestly a terrible thing to live with. It sounds so stupid, but it affects me majorly. I often used because I wanted to forget about the 'person with the bad moods' in the room next door.
But ya, I so have mom issues too. You not alone.
Hugs til lata,
Angie
I too have to deal with all my moms stuff. Its awful!! She's going through menopause at the moment and she doesn't understand that it is absolute hell to be around her sometimes. Her miserable mood that she's in half the time makes me want to run the other direction 99% of the time. Once in a while I blow up at her and tell her how terrible she's acting, then she fights with me and tells me I am in the wrong and that I must go and get over my PMS. Its bloody hell. Then on the other odd occasions she's like all fine and acts like everything in the world is just great - very rare occasions shes like this. Its honestly a terrible thing to live with. It sounds so stupid, but it affects me majorly. I often used because I wanted to forget about the 'person with the bad moods' in the room next door.
But ya, I so have mom issues too. You not alone.
Hugs til lata,
Angie
Chad I'm sorry to hear about your mom, I have found that remembering the good times and sharing them wuth people is the best way to keep a person close. Chad you can choose to get clean. Know that me and many others will be there for you along the way. I hope to hear more from you. Angie I remember when my mom went through menopause and she also tried to quite smoking. Double trouble. Just remember to not take anything your mom says personaly, and to stand up for you. No matter what she says you know the truth and that is all that matters. Last night my mom asked me what is true, and I just looked at her and said enough to right 5 novels. She has to realize that it is really non of her business, and as much as she wants to be there, and says she understands she never will. It's all you.
BabyCakes
BabyCakes
