hi
i haven't posted here b4 tho i do read the emails on this site quite a lot. i was wondering if anyone has any ideas on getting past a sticking point - i've been using for almost 10 years now and have been through messy bits. However, i'm now on meth and doing ok - job/ house/ making new friends after losing them all etc... however, my sticking point is going for prolonged periods without. i manage a couple of days on meth then give in - i find it really hard not to. it's becoming very frustrating. i do really want to but i suppose a part of me also really enjoys it. does anyone have any exp of how they finally stopped using on top etc...? how did they do it - in terms of the cravings in the head etc...? i know what i should do - not see anyone who uses etc... but i can't quite make that break. i sometimes think what if i do then really regret it? it's nice to have the option. but while i have the option, i use! it is becoming really annoying - i just want to stop and have been working towards it for a while but i've been at this same point for quite a few months. i know it takes time and it's not easy and you just have to give it time etc... so i do want to be realistic about stopping (ie. not rushing - i did that before by going into detox 5 and was back using within 2 months! this time i must take it slowly as i don't want to get clean and then mess up and have to go through it all again). maybe that's another reason that i can't quite stop - i want it to be right this time. i know i'm not old, but i've just turned 28 and i'm desperate to stop adn be sorted before i'm 30. i've been using some form of stuff since i was 16 and gear since 19 and my life has really been on hold. has anyone else had this tug of war going on in their head re using and not using?! i think that's another reason i like to smoke - it gives me peace from all my thoughts!!
I'm in the same boat. Methadone just is'nt the same is it? I can go 10 days on the meth but then I use and if im honest it's usually only a maximum of four days on the meth before I use. Im afraid I don't have any answers Im in the same situation as you. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.
haia all
i really wish that the stopping,rattling whatevere was the hardest part,no way,staying off the s*** is much harder than anything,you do a few days clean or weeks and think youve done well,i can have a bit well a say bit ialways end up bvuying too much ,so theres some left in morning and before i know it ive been on the gear a week and am back fkd again,every time is the same,how stupid is that!ive been on the gear about seven yrs now ,i have stopped a few times the longest while i was pregnant but for the last two yrs i havnt had much of a break,weve got a meth script now but have yet to go in it,the plan is in two days time (again)hopefully ill do it this time,let us know how yourgoing,if you find a way of making it easier let us know,its some comfort to know im not alone in the feeling i have
seren
i really wish that the stopping,rattling whatevere was the hardest part,no way,staying off the s*** is much harder than anything,you do a few days clean or weeks and think youve done well,i can have a bit well a say bit ialways end up bvuying too much ,so theres some left in morning and before i know it ive been on the gear a week and am back fkd again,every time is the same,how stupid is that!ive been on the gear about seven yrs now ,i have stopped a few times the longest while i was pregnant but for the last two yrs i havnt had much of a break,weve got a meth script now but have yet to go in it,the plan is in two days time (again)hopefully ill do it this time,let us know how yourgoing,if you find a way of making it easier let us know,its some comfort to know im not alone in the feeling i have
seren
Go up on your dose to where any amount of heroin you do will be a waste of time and money.
M done will block the that dope high if your on a high enough dose. You just have to get the routine of using (in my case it was the needle thing) out of your life.
Use the money to purchase new things for your new life- - Things you have always wanted, but the money always ended being spent on dope.
You cant buy happiness, but it will show you that money can be spent on other sh*t besides dope.
Stay busy- - get a job,volunteer your time, stay involved in constructive/productive activities.
Exercise and eat right- concentrate on balancing your mind & body- ying & yang
Its no easy task -breaking the cycle of using heroin> mdone will take away the physical pain, the mental and psychological pull of the drug has to come from within.
all the best- stay in touch
jack
M done will block the that dope high if your on a high enough dose. You just have to get the routine of using (in my case it was the needle thing) out of your life.
Use the money to purchase new things for your new life- - Things you have always wanted, but the money always ended being spent on dope.
You cant buy happiness, but it will show you that money can be spent on other sh*t besides dope.
Stay busy- - get a job,volunteer your time, stay involved in constructive/productive activities.
Exercise and eat right- concentrate on balancing your mind & body- ying & yang
Its no easy task -breaking the cycle of using heroin> mdone will take away the physical pain, the mental and psychological pull of the drug has to come from within.
all the best- stay in touch
jack
I hear this from different people but the more meth im on the less smack I need to get high. I have been addicted to smack for nearly 8 years and over that time have always had a meth script and the more meth thats in my system the easier I find it to get stoned.
I don't know if this helps.
My bf has been on the gear every day almost for 22years that's a lot of Heroin at one time he was heavily heavily using and for 10 yrs he's been on methadone. They won't up his dose because he's on amps iv methadone so that's not an option. Last year he cut down from a bag a day to splitting a bag over 2 days so although he was still using on top he was using less, spending less - still killing himself mind you.
Then this Jan he decided he was getting clean totally and it was going to take him a year. At first he tried quitting the brown straight off but it was too hard, he could go 14 days and then he'd use and counting clean days didn't work for him.
So he decided to score twice a week Tue and Sat and he was still splitting the bags so he used Tue Wed Sat Sun - 4 days and 3 days clean each week. For him it's about breaking the rituals - the phone, the dealer, the burning, needles all that. Now for 2 months he's been scoring Tue Sat still splitting the bag but then waiting to use until the following day. Using once in the morning and once at night it's the same amount of gear but it means using Wed Sun - 2 days and 5 days clean.
Sorry if this is a bit boring but anyway that now means that he uses 9 times a month instead of 30 which is a huge step forward after 20 odd years.
The next step would be to half the gear again but his dealer isn't tesco and it doesn't come in any smaller amounts. He could split the bag and throw half away but that isn't going to happen so he's going to try in a couple of months to reduce down to using H once a week and stay on that once a week for another few months because unless he can do that he doesn't think he stands much chance of staying clean when he comes out of detox.
He's referred himself for a methadone detox in the Autumn -which should be fun.
Dunno if that helps.
k
My bf has been on the gear every day almost for 22years that's a lot of Heroin at one time he was heavily heavily using and for 10 yrs he's been on methadone. They won't up his dose because he's on amps iv methadone so that's not an option. Last year he cut down from a bag a day to splitting a bag over 2 days so although he was still using on top he was using less, spending less - still killing himself mind you.
Then this Jan he decided he was getting clean totally and it was going to take him a year. At first he tried quitting the brown straight off but it was too hard, he could go 14 days and then he'd use and counting clean days didn't work for him.
So he decided to score twice a week Tue and Sat and he was still splitting the bags so he used Tue Wed Sat Sun - 4 days and 3 days clean each week. For him it's about breaking the rituals - the phone, the dealer, the burning, needles all that. Now for 2 months he's been scoring Tue Sat still splitting the bag but then waiting to use until the following day. Using once in the morning and once at night it's the same amount of gear but it means using Wed Sun - 2 days and 5 days clean.
Sorry if this is a bit boring but anyway that now means that he uses 9 times a month instead of 30 which is a huge step forward after 20 odd years.
The next step would be to half the gear again but his dealer isn't tesco and it doesn't come in any smaller amounts. He could split the bag and throw half away but that isn't going to happen so he's going to try in a couple of months to reduce down to using H once a week and stay on that once a week for another few months because unless he can do that he doesn't think he stands much chance of staying clean when he comes out of detox.
He's referred himself for a methadone detox in the Autumn -which should be fun.
Dunno if that helps.
k
JR..been where you are now..im clean off smack&benzoz bout 9mnths..after 10yrs. of the tug of war..still on a meth.script though and dunno if il ever come off it..but im in a better place now without the brown&tablets.I would do the same i.e worry if i cut all connections that oh in the future i might??want just a lil bag.Its mind over matter for me i still could go out and score but i just got sick of the whole game of druglife whether i had a bag or went on a binge.I got a f/t job so that was one of the factors that made me eventually stop..at the end of a week ..yeh i could splurge on smack etc.or buy some of the stuff that i had lost to addiction...basically i got sick of giving my$$$ to the dealer..got sick of the spikes,blood,marks,time passing,standing still...all us addicts know this darkside of addiction the guilt etc.
Take care.......Davey
Take care.......Davey
..As Jazwan said above..amongst other things its about breaking the ritual thing..(imagine the scenario) ya in ya house sitting there watching tv or sumfin..up pops that lil man in ya head and says to ya..go get yaself a little bag..then you start to imagine (in my case) tearing sum foil off..making a tube and smoothing a sheet for ya gear.. then ya think of rolling that sweet smelling brown up and down the foil..so ya eyes divert from the tv to the phone..and ya sit there staring at the phone fighting yaself about weather to ring ya dealer..everything ya saying to yaself about not to use don't make sense cos ya know that urge to use is getting stronger..so ya try to soften the excuse to use by saying..i'll just have one last bag today and definately knock it on the head 2moz and keep to my script ??..i can tell ya from 14 yrs of using brown (im in recovery now)..it dont work like that..methadone to 90% of addicts is just sumfin to fall back on if they're sick or can't get any gear..its either you use or you dont use..theres no in between?..i understand that urge to use..i know its so uncomfortable to sit and want sumfin so bad but ya fighting yaself not to have it..but thats all you can do..is sit and fight off those temptations..it can get depressing aswell..and you know that depression will lift if you use..that thinking of the ritual of using is sumfin ya gotta get outta ya head..that feeling of watching the brown slide down the foil or watching the liquid disappear into ya vein is also sumfin that ya need to let go of..as easy as it is for some of us to offer advice as some of us dont use no more..it can be done..you just need to find that strength and desire to not want to use no more however often it is ?..good luck to ya'll..Robbie..
