I never really admitted I was an addict or should I say I never really realized what was going on with me. Until about an hour ago I thought I would quit taking pills and go back to my life before drugs. That is not possible. The only thing I can do is take a new lease on life. Last thursday I actually took out a loan so I could by some pills. Now I have a 250.00 loan to pay back and the pills only lasted thru the weekend. Nothing was going to stop me from getting high. So now I need to focus on never going back. Inspire me. Please. you all are all I have.
Travis...........Pineknot..............
Travis...I feel ya. I have my 14,000 diamond ring on consignment right now. The jeweler is asking 10,000 for it and I will get 6,000 and he gets 4,000. It's a real bummer and makes me really sad but I borrowed 5000 from a friend because I was so behind in all my bills because I was buying pills. I can totally relate. I still need to pay him back then I should be back on track again. I can now pay all my bills. Nothing ia behind. Those pills are so evil. I think if I would have gone another month I might have lost my house. It's so scary. Life is so good now. I can buy Christmas presents for my son...buy food for my family and I don't have to screen my calls from bill collectors and not scared to get the mail anymore. Hang in there Travis. 250.00 is not bad at all....you WILL stay clean this time and you will be able to pay it back plus sooo much more. There are days that I just smile so big knowing I am not a slave to the pills anymore. I do however do meetings. I really suggested when your feeling up to it...go to NA or AA. This really helps us stay clean...and keep posting.
Belinda
Belinda
Pine, I believe that relapse strengthens our recovery. Not that I advocate having one, but I know that it taught me how cunning, baffling and powerful my disease is. How hard, fast and low one can sink after not using and then going out, best lesson I ever had. It has kept me clean almost 5 months now.
Relapse is a learning experience, if you use it that way.
Relapse is a learning experience, if you use it that way.
Pineknot
Thank you for your honesty. You helped remind me of what it is like out there. You coming back inspired me.
I agree that relapse can be sometimes expected the question remains what you are going to do now. You are not defined by a mistake but rather by the next step you take. The things that have helped me in my recovery are using a 12 step program, along with a sponsor and actually working the steps.
The thing that has helped me the most is spirituality and getting back to God.
Hope this gives you some ideas.
God bless.
Thank you for your honesty. You helped remind me of what it is like out there. You coming back inspired me.
I agree that relapse can be sometimes expected the question remains what you are going to do now. You are not defined by a mistake but rather by the next step you take. The things that have helped me in my recovery are using a 12 step program, along with a sponsor and actually working the steps.
The thing that has helped me the most is spirituality and getting back to God.
Hope this gives you some ideas.
God bless.
