this disease is a b*tch. i was getting a ride home from an NA meeting tonite and my mind started planning a relapse. y'know, tommorrow is dollar pint nite at my favorite bar. that's what i was thinking. i just wanna go and drink beer and meet people. f*ck the program. f*ck that i just got out of a 28 day treatment. let me just go drink and talk to people. and the reality is i'll prolly just end up drinking alone if i did cuz no one really wants to talk to me when i go to a bar. then i'll go walking when i've drunk enff, and go hang on the street and smoke pot and maybe shoot some dope if i can find it. why not?
i have too much to lose and i have a promise to keep to myself. with honor and integrity. i'm a man now. i called a friend in the program and told him about this plan so i could get it out of my head. i know that thats the best thing to do. otherwise it will eat me up inside. we're only as sick as our secrets or whatever. i feel better, and i will pray tommorrow and go to meeting, and stay away from the bar and try to talk to people sober and have sober fun. i'm right where i need to be.
Hi twelve,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.That is what we are suppose to do..tell on our disease....share it with others...stay out of our heads....that is how we stay clean and sober........again thanks for sharing with us.......take care
God bless,
gina :)
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.That is what we are suppose to do..tell on our disease....share it with others...stay out of our heads....that is how we stay clean and sober........again thanks for sharing with us.......take care
God bless,
gina :)
I can relate to you completly. I do the same danm thing with wine. I love wine, and am so sad that I cant drink it anymore. It's so easy to talk yourself into thinking it's ok. Thankyou for sharing your experience, it's good to know that other people feel the same way I do. I am glad to know you were strong, it gives me hope.
Whooooo!
I know the feeling and went through making the easy decision "TO DRINK" for 16 years after attending my first meeting. It is lonely sitting in the bar staring at yourself in the mirror for the 1st couple. We then after those 1st few are relieved of our hell for just a moment. Have ya noticed how comfortable we get with the stranger on the stool next to us? Gabbing away, telling lies, laughing and still never letting anyone in. This is the "Loneliest" of all.
After we 1st come out of the closet and all our closest "Acquaintances" are proud of our admission after a bottom. What do we do? Drink! Back to the same ole lie! "Refilling the Vodka Bottle" with water routine. Then, having to replace it and low and behold, it somehow ends up water.
I went thru this for 16 years and never had over 7 months clean. Well, I now have 14 months. I finally am doing 100% of what I am told.
I went to treatment for 14 days. The treatment center told me that if I was serious, I would live in a 3/4 house. I did so for 90 days. During that time while doing 100% of what i was told, it finally hit me. Someone took it from me. I finally realized that nothing mattered except staying sober. If I did not, all the "STUFF"............. would be gone and I would end up drunk, dead, jail.............. Read up, pray up and meeting up! As said in the beginning of this epistle, the easy choice is to "DRINK"!
Make the tough decision! Reap the benefits of that decision and realize that you did not make it. "GOD DID" and you finally accepted the fact that we are better followers when it comes to sobreity.
Thanks for listening as I did not get to my meeting tonight.
Take Care,
Terry G.
I know the feeling and went through making the easy decision "TO DRINK" for 16 years after attending my first meeting. It is lonely sitting in the bar staring at yourself in the mirror for the 1st couple. We then after those 1st few are relieved of our hell for just a moment. Have ya noticed how comfortable we get with the stranger on the stool next to us? Gabbing away, telling lies, laughing and still never letting anyone in. This is the "Loneliest" of all.
After we 1st come out of the closet and all our closest "Acquaintances" are proud of our admission after a bottom. What do we do? Drink! Back to the same ole lie! "Refilling the Vodka Bottle" with water routine. Then, having to replace it and low and behold, it somehow ends up water.
I went thru this for 16 years and never had over 7 months clean. Well, I now have 14 months. I finally am doing 100% of what I am told.
I went to treatment for 14 days. The treatment center told me that if I was serious, I would live in a 3/4 house. I did so for 90 days. During that time while doing 100% of what i was told, it finally hit me. Someone took it from me. I finally realized that nothing mattered except staying sober. If I did not, all the "STUFF"............. would be gone and I would end up drunk, dead, jail.............. Read up, pray up and meeting up! As said in the beginning of this epistle, the easy choice is to "DRINK"!
Make the tough decision! Reap the benefits of that decision and realize that you did not make it. "GOD DID" and you finally accepted the fact that we are better followers when it comes to sobreity.
Thanks for listening as I did not get to my meeting tonight.
Take Care,
Terry G.
