I am feeling pretty bad about some things I said on the board this week. I need to tell you, my fellow board members, that I am sorry I lost control and said some things I shouldn't have.
To the people I hurt, and/or to anyone who may have been hurt as a result of my addict ways, I am very sorry. I am human, too, and I push back when I am pushed. I felt pushed BIG time, and I felt like I needed to defend myself. I didn't have to hurt others in the process and I sincerely apologize that I did hurt others.
I need this board. Although I have been accused of not having a life outside of it, I can promise you I do. haha I have as much to do as any other mom and/or wife on here. But the board is a big part of my life right now, and I don't want to be without it, especially when I need it the most.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Carol
I don't think anybody on this board has not said things they regret, it happens. We all need you just as much as you need us. Just hang in there. After every storm there is a rainbow :)
Chrissy
I don't think anybody on this board has not said things they regret, it happens. We all need you just as much as you need us. Just hang in there. After every storm there is a rainbow :)
Chrissy
Carol stop fretting hun we are all human ((hugs)) jackie xxxxxxxxx
Chrissy......I especially want to thank you for all your kind words this week. You are really a sweetheart, and I am glad we met and have got to know each other better.
You LG is gorgeous, and you are so right, she is a huge motivation to stay clean. I would give ANYTHING to be able to go back and relive my daughter's life from that age forward. That is not something you want to be saying 20 years from now. Do it right the first time.
I have a lot of faith in you and I think you're going to rise above the demon and do just great! Take care!
Jacky.........thank-you.......(((((((((((((((hugs to you, too!))))))))))))))))))
dear mom[forget about it] so how you doin?,i'm startin to feel real sick if you know what i mean,hopefully this will be the last time,well i'm off to soak in a hot tub,if you get a chance send me a naked picture[lol].........love vinny.
Carol
We need you as much as you need this forum. You have always been there for me along with many others. Your post just tells me what I already knew. You are a special person
Love
Frank
And if you're sending pictures, You have my e-mail
I hope you are feeling okay, and I do apologize for the show some balls people post...
I think if I kept my big trap shut, it wouldn't have happened...
Kerry
I think if I kept my big trap shut, it wouldn't have happened...
Kerry
Carol you really do not need to think me. I just pointed out to you what was obvious to everyone else :) How are you feeling today? Good I hope. The weather here in TX is great almost 80. To bad I am stuck at work :(
Chrissy
Chrissy
Chrissy
I'm in calif and its 86 so we gotcha by 6 degrees. Working Saturday on a beautiful day really sucks. I know. I worked this morning. have a good day.
Frank
Vinny........still cracking my up. Did Teresa send you her's yet? LOL
I have to tell you, I am 49 years old, go pick on some of these young, gorgeous girls whose 20-30 year old bodies will no doubt do more for you.
Frank.......my Surfer-Dude, thanks for always being there for me.
Guess what! Paula and I had coffee together f2f today. She was in my neighborhood to visit family. She is a doll! just as we suspected.
She may tell you I am the most boring person ever, not so perky feeling today. We had a nice lunch and chat and it was a lot of fun. Our families both told us we were nuts for meeting "Internet friends", but we both walked away alive.
I have to tell you, I am 49 years old, go pick on some of these young, gorgeous girls whose 20-30 year old bodies will no doubt do more for you.
Frank.......my Surfer-Dude, thanks for always being there for me.
Guess what! Paula and I had coffee together f2f today. She was in my neighborhood to visit family. She is a doll! just as we suspected.
She may tell you I am the most boring person ever, not so perky feeling today. We had a nice lunch and chat and it was a lot of fun. Our families both told us we were nuts for meeting "Internet friends", but we both walked away alive.
Carol,
Just jumped online for a minute and saw this post! Stop it! I am sure nobody is sweating you for anything you said. I know I'm not but you already knew that.
It took a lot of courage to say the things you said, everyone has an opinion. That is what makes this place so cool to be apart of. If everyone were the same it would get boring fast!
That is so cool you and Paula met. Marina and I live close and we have talked in the past about maybe meeting for lunch. Oneday hopefully we will get to meet. Enjoy your weekend. I will write ya later. Hope you feel better real soon. I still feel like I've been ran over by a train. I look like it to:-)
Take care sweetie and never change! Rae
Just jumped online for a minute and saw this post! Stop it! I am sure nobody is sweating you for anything you said. I know I'm not but you already knew that.
It took a lot of courage to say the things you said, everyone has an opinion. That is what makes this place so cool to be apart of. If everyone were the same it would get boring fast!
That is so cool you and Paula met. Marina and I live close and we have talked in the past about maybe meeting for lunch. Oneday hopefully we will get to meet. Enjoy your weekend. I will write ya later. Hope you feel better real soon. I still feel like I've been ran over by a train. I look like it to:-)
Take care sweetie and never change! Rae
Carol
Wow...To cool. Paula is a great person. But then again, so are you. I just sent you an e-mail about that. Funny.
Frank
Kerry,,,,,,,,,huh?
chrissy.........76 and sunny here. i really am not feeling that bad, thank God.
Although using is using, my use this time wasn't that much and so the w/d so far is bearable. It was weird, the pills actually made me sick if I took too many, so it didn't get THAT out of control before I ran out. I will get through the next few days, it;s the mental part and the cravings that are going to haunt me.
Kerry........OK, now I know what you mean. Don't you worry about that for one minute. I had already decided to make my post, before you made yours. Let it go. : )
chrissy.........76 and sunny here. i really am not feeling that bad, thank God.
Although using is using, my use this time wasn't that much and so the w/d so far is bearable. It was weird, the pills actually made me sick if I took too many, so it didn't get THAT out of control before I ran out. I will get through the next few days, it;s the mental part and the cravings that are going to haunt me.
Kerry........OK, now I know what you mean. Don't you worry about that for one minute. I had already decided to make my post, before you made yours. Let it go. : )
Thanks Rachel......have fun tonight, sounds like a blast! you are such a doll!
(((((carol)))))
as you probably know carol from the messages i post on this
board, the program of recovery i embrace is the 12-steps. in the
12 steps we have traditions. pills anonymous, tradition 3 tells us:
THE ONLY REQUIREMENT FOR MEMBERSHIP IS A
DESIRE TO STOP USING PRESCRIPTION DRUGS
ADDICTIVELY.
i approach recovery message boards the same way i do my face
to face recovery life. rigorous honesty is not a requirement for
membership in any 12-step organization. it is, as you obviously
understand in your pain, a requirement for long-term
physical, emotional and spiritual sobriety.
at the same time, the ninth step says that we make amends
"except when to do so would injure them or others." my sponsor --
and many sponsors i know -- have said that amends are a step
"making right" whatever we have done wrong, to the best extent
we can.
dear, dear carol -- you are making it right with whatever it is that
is tugging at your heart. and you have added immeasurably to my life
and the lives of others on this site, and offlist, i'm sure. while you have
clearly hurt YOURSELF, i do not personally feel hurt by
anything you have done. i wondered what was up, but you
have not hurt me. you have so much to give; such a
compassionate heart. an apology was probably appropriate,
if you felt so, and if no one has been harmed in doing so, (which from
the extent of your message today, it is doubtful they have.)
ive made a public apology on this board before too for
past behavior i engaged in offlist. it's humbling when we do so, and
humility and doing the next right thing, is a lesson also critical
to recovery. there is something so freeing when we realize and
take action regarding those "realizations" that we are changing
the things that we can. we become empowered!
its progress carol, not perfection.
wowsa! i am in awe of the goodness within you that is enabling you
with courage to progress. i love you and i suspect my sentiment
is shared by others; however, i will let them speak for themselves.
HUGS and KEEP COMING BACK!
namaste'
sammy
as you probably know carol from the messages i post on this
board, the program of recovery i embrace is the 12-steps. in the
12 steps we have traditions. pills anonymous, tradition 3 tells us:
THE ONLY REQUIREMENT FOR MEMBERSHIP IS A
DESIRE TO STOP USING PRESCRIPTION DRUGS
ADDICTIVELY.
i approach recovery message boards the same way i do my face
to face recovery life. rigorous honesty is not a requirement for
membership in any 12-step organization. it is, as you obviously
understand in your pain, a requirement for long-term
physical, emotional and spiritual sobriety.
at the same time, the ninth step says that we make amends
"except when to do so would injure them or others." my sponsor --
and many sponsors i know -- have said that amends are a step
"making right" whatever we have done wrong, to the best extent
we can.
dear, dear carol -- you are making it right with whatever it is that
is tugging at your heart. and you have added immeasurably to my life
and the lives of others on this site, and offlist, i'm sure. while you have
clearly hurt YOURSELF, i do not personally feel hurt by
anything you have done. i wondered what was up, but you
have not hurt me. you have so much to give; such a
compassionate heart. an apology was probably appropriate,
if you felt so, and if no one has been harmed in doing so, (which from
the extent of your message today, it is doubtful they have.)
ive made a public apology on this board before too for
past behavior i engaged in offlist. it's humbling when we do so, and
humility and doing the next right thing, is a lesson also critical
to recovery. there is something so freeing when we realize and
take action regarding those "realizations" that we are changing
the things that we can. we become empowered!
its progress carol, not perfection.
wowsa! i am in awe of the goodness within you that is enabling you
with courage to progress. i love you and i suspect my sentiment
is shared by others; however, i will let them speak for themselves.
HUGS and KEEP COMING BACK!
namaste'
sammy
carol,
you have the biggest heart, this board is a great place with you here
you have the biggest heart, this board is a great place with you here
Carol..although we've been emailing back and forth under the conditions of our truce, I thought it important to share with the board that you and I got over ourselves and moved on. We both said things we shouldn't of, you pushed, I pushed, I pushed, you pushed. Got blacks eyes to prove it. How bad are yours? I had to wear sunglasses for a couple of days..lol
It's over and like I just emailed you...as addicts, our thinking is less than stellar sometimes. But because we're addicts and in the same boat, we care about eachother and that's the name of this game.
The good thing is that, I didn't use over it and you quit using today (I think it's today), so do you need that 24 hour chip yet? You are so worth this recovery.
Respectfully,
Cowgirl
It's over and like I just emailed you...as addicts, our thinking is less than stellar sometimes. But because we're addicts and in the same boat, we care about eachother and that's the name of this game.
The good thing is that, I didn't use over it and you quit using today (I think it's today), so do you need that 24 hour chip yet? You are so worth this recovery.
Respectfully,
Cowgirl
Thats nice !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
