I wrote this poem a few nights ago while alone. I think it is a good example of where I am mentally. As of now I do not have a title for it, so I will call it August 27, 2006
August 27, 2006
The questions amounted to create a mountain of fatigable heights.
I saw the frozen fallen carcasses of those who had climbed this mountain once before in pursuit of answers.
Their skulls grimaced as the ice storm of doubts slammed across their bodies, frozen in the ever-long desolation of time.
I questioned my journey of questions.
This mountain, figurative as it may be, never was so real in my mind until the age of now.
Throughout my young life there were valleys, plateaus, and deserts of brief reprieve.
There were oceans, and seas of unease, storming rivers of fear, and placid lakes of paranoia.
There were hills of joy, gardens of celebration, but never such a mountain of unknown consequences.
And now it lay before me.
The summit, hidden well in grey shameful clouds, is said to have the answers.
I hope I will one day reach it.
I hope my legs will move, oxygen will fill my lungs, fuel my muscles, and age my body. My body will waste, but my soul will ferociously brew.
And then it will be then, and yesterday, today, tomorrow will all give away to something new.
-Jim
hey Jim thankyou for the poem
Light and love Zac
Light and love Zac
Hi Jim.
Keep them coming.I used to write some poetry when I was new to recovery and after reading yours and Idgies poems I may start again.
God Bless
Lionel.
Keep them coming.I used to write some poetry when I was new to recovery and after reading yours and Idgies poems I may start again.
God Bless
Lionel.
Hi Jim,
Wow, your poetry is good. Keep them and don't lose any of your poems, I used to write poems years ago, (before typing days! ) and kept them all for years. One day I threw them all out in a fit of self-hatred and thinking they were no good. I really regret throwing them out cause they did tell me how I was feeling at the time.Also poetry can reflect bad feelings in a beautiful way and transform the pain. Do keep your poems cause some day you might use them in a book to help others.
This is your last year in college, are there any debating groups or human rights groups you could join, ( just thinking of stuff) You are a bright wise young lad and all that energy can be used in a good way. In years to come you will see that DUI as a gift.
Is there any other activities you could take up, bowling, swimming. If you are not the sporty type, what about astronomy, chess, science, animal rights groups, Again, sounds like a lecture!!! but don't sit in on a Saturday night thinking everyone else is having fun, in some ways they are in a lonlier place.
The thing about having a hobbie or a special interest is some people might be into having a few beers but the focus is on the hobbie.
All of my son's friends( including him ) have dropped out of college, been banned from driving,
had accidents etc. These are all bright lads, the pull to break away is hard for any of them cause the others will still say they are having fun. Also nobody wants to be totally alone and feel they have nobody to hang out with, that only makes people feel more depressed and that there is something wrong with them. There isn't. The best cure for depression ( unless it is very deep clinical and needs medication to just give the ladder out of the black hole ) is excercise and good healthy food. Even just walking can lift it a bit.
Anyway enough of my lecture!! you take care and you are doing well.
Keep posting and keep your poems for the future.
love and hugs
Cathy
Wow, your poetry is good. Keep them and don't lose any of your poems, I used to write poems years ago, (before typing days! ) and kept them all for years. One day I threw them all out in a fit of self-hatred and thinking they were no good. I really regret throwing them out cause they did tell me how I was feeling at the time.Also poetry can reflect bad feelings in a beautiful way and transform the pain. Do keep your poems cause some day you might use them in a book to help others.
This is your last year in college, are there any debating groups or human rights groups you could join, ( just thinking of stuff) You are a bright wise young lad and all that energy can be used in a good way. In years to come you will see that DUI as a gift.
Is there any other activities you could take up, bowling, swimming. If you are not the sporty type, what about astronomy, chess, science, animal rights groups, Again, sounds like a lecture!!! but don't sit in on a Saturday night thinking everyone else is having fun, in some ways they are in a lonlier place.
The thing about having a hobbie or a special interest is some people might be into having a few beers but the focus is on the hobbie.
All of my son's friends( including him ) have dropped out of college, been banned from driving,
had accidents etc. These are all bright lads, the pull to break away is hard for any of them cause the others will still say they are having fun. Also nobody wants to be totally alone and feel they have nobody to hang out with, that only makes people feel more depressed and that there is something wrong with them. There isn't. The best cure for depression ( unless it is very deep clinical and needs medication to just give the ladder out of the black hole ) is excercise and good healthy food. Even just walking can lift it a bit.
Anyway enough of my lecture!! you take care and you are doing well.
Keep posting and keep your poems for the future.
love and hugs
Cathy
Hi Cathy,
I have been thinking about upping up my commitment to the organizations, non-drinking friends, family, and church activities. The strange thing is that although I may have some problems with alcohol I have always remained active. I am in a leadership position for the College Democrats at my school, I work for the AIPAC (American Israel Political Action Committee), I am a founder of an online creative journal at my school, I am part of a youth group at my church, I play hockey, I am a runner, I snowboard during the winter, and I work for a program that mentors first generation college students, most poor and of a minority group. That is why this is so strange to me, my DUI I mean, because on the outside most would never suspect me of depression or a drinking problem. I guess that is what happens when you are the child of a published writer and a chemical engineer. You are expected to have an air of perfection.
So what I am doing is just trying to concentrate on my course load and work out more. That is all I can do right now. And I am also working on a few congressional campaigns to kick the Republicans out of Congress, one of my strongest passions right now.
-Jim
I have been thinking about upping up my commitment to the organizations, non-drinking friends, family, and church activities. The strange thing is that although I may have some problems with alcohol I have always remained active. I am in a leadership position for the College Democrats at my school, I work for the AIPAC (American Israel Political Action Committee), I am a founder of an online creative journal at my school, I am part of a youth group at my church, I play hockey, I am a runner, I snowboard during the winter, and I work for a program that mentors first generation college students, most poor and of a minority group. That is why this is so strange to me, my DUI I mean, because on the outside most would never suspect me of depression or a drinking problem. I guess that is what happens when you are the child of a published writer and a chemical engineer. You are expected to have an air of perfection.
So what I am doing is just trying to concentrate on my course load and work out more. That is all I can do right now. And I am also working on a few congressional campaigns to kick the Republicans out of Congress, one of my strongest passions right now.
-Jim
Dear Jim,
You sound like a lovely person and giving a lot to the world. Depression is nothing to be ashamed off and can be treated very effectively with counselling and or medication if needed. Unfortunately alcohol is a depressant too so anyone who even suffers from mild depression should not drink. It only makes people feel worse about themselves.
When you get to talk to your therapist he or she will help you process all your feelings around the DUI and put it into perspective. It is really a credit to you that you have learnt so much and so willing to move forward.
You have so much to be proud of, Really so much.
love and hugs
Cathy
You sound like a lovely person and giving a lot to the world. Depression is nothing to be ashamed off and can be treated very effectively with counselling and or medication if needed. Unfortunately alcohol is a depressant too so anyone who even suffers from mild depression should not drink. It only makes people feel worse about themselves.
When you get to talk to your therapist he or she will help you process all your feelings around the DUI and put it into perspective. It is really a credit to you that you have learnt so much and so willing to move forward.
You have so much to be proud of, Really so much.
love and hugs
Cathy
