I am in a relationship with someone who is addicted to marijana. I have delt with my own marijana addiction problems in the past and find it difficult to obstain when it is around. Before moving back into the same apartment with this person, the agreement was that there would be no more pot smoking. I'm trying very hard not become "the mother" in this relationship and truly want to help this person deal with her addiction. She refuses to go to any type of therapy and I feel manipulated at times. I allow it to be brought into the house in order to avoid an argument. I am dealing with a 43 year old that behaves like a 12 year old. I have moved out several times in the past because I could not seem to enforce my own boudaries with such issues. Does anyone have any advice?
I am having the same problem I would love to get help. My husband went from once in a while to every weekend. I want to save my marriage before it gets to bad. He also has addictions to other things like work and video games. I know his addictions stem from other issues but I cant get him to even acknowledge that he has these problems. I feel your pain.
Jade
Jade
LiLi,
As you know the addiction drives the person. It sounds like your partner knows you are always a safe have. Are you seeking therapy for yourself? Going to any support groups such as alanon, naranon? It is critical that you take good care of yourself otherwise you may remain (pardon and over used term) codependent.
G.
As you know the addiction drives the person. It sounds like your partner knows you are always a safe have. Are you seeking therapy for yourself? Going to any support groups such as alanon, naranon? It is critical that you take good care of yourself otherwise you may remain (pardon and over used term) codependent.
G.
Dear,
please check out following web pg. www.healer-cz.com.
Mr Gellner has helped hundreds of drug, gambling, alcohol addicts all around the world. He can remove every addiction from your love once
over the distance. Most important part of it ,is, The addicts can not know about this treatment, they have to have the feelikng they achived it on they own. Probably you won't trust to this as I didn't, I came back to this web pg many times, and trust me I tried everything possible, cost me a lot of money, befor I decided to ask him for his help. It took 6 month for me to see first resultes, and now I'm enjoing full health without any addiction. That was the time I decided I'm going to help to other people get better.
Jan
please check out following web pg. www.healer-cz.com.
Mr Gellner has helped hundreds of drug, gambling, alcohol addicts all around the world. He can remove every addiction from your love once
over the distance. Most important part of it ,is, The addicts can not know about this treatment, they have to have the feelikng they achived it on they own. Probably you won't trust to this as I didn't, I came back to this web pg many times, and trust me I tried everything possible, cost me a lot of money, befor I decided to ask him for his help. It took 6 month for me to see first resultes, and now I'm enjoing full health without any addiction. That was the time I decided I'm going to help to other people get better.
Jan
be thankful its not worse...example, coming home, and finding your loved one, passed out, with syringes and other paraphynilia
I'm going through the pot addiction too. It's really weird how it was a "gateway" drug for me, and then when I couldn't get high, I did really hard drugs. That just brought more pain and restlessness into my life, so I stopped. Then just smoking pot (everyday) didn't seem so bad. -In my mind.. it was okay because I wasn't doing coke. Pot didn't make me violent, or mean. Just tired and hungry.. lol. But it is very serious.... I know a lot of people, including me who found it very hard to stop. It is a gateway drug for some people... let the person who is using know your concerned & that there is more to life then getting high. -But like the wize owl said in the reply above mine...atleast your not finding them with a needle. But it could progress to that. good luck. i wish you the best.
I feel your pain. Like you, I am in a relationship with an marijuana addict. I have seen the lies that have come from it and the overwhelming lack of responsibility for normal day to day acts as a result of his usage. I try to instill my beliefs that his behavior is destructive, but he naturally disputes every thing I say and tells me I am too uptight. It is a horrible scenario. I have someone who I love with all of my heart destroying themselves and there is nothing I can say that can make him change.
I will speak from the personal experience as a super pot addict that the reasons behind the smoking can be very hard to explain. You must make an effort to find out what drives this person. But really this is a mutual learning process, as you figure out alot of things about yourself and your own beliefs.
Pot smokers and non-pot smokers can seem like people from two different planets. An effort must be made to understand why he is doing it and it must be made clear to him why you feel the way you do. But when speaking with people from two different planets, things we normally assume as "reality" are thrown out the window. Mentally live in his shoes and understand what he's "all about". Yah he probably just seems like a lazy slob, and maybe he is. But would taking his drugs away make him Mr. House Chores?
Personally I am one of those people who see nothing better to do in this miserable world than to smoke marijuana. :) :) :) I hate myself for it (oh no, is that the reason!!!) and I try to stop, but I don't really want to.
If I wasn't smoking marijuana I would probably be on some perscription drug like Prozac or worse, cuz I'm crazy, man!
As you can see I have plenty of issues, but I feel good when I'm high. I don't feel all that crazy. It's hard to fight that logic sometimes.
So I'm hoping to find help for myself here while maybe helping other people (rofl). But really I am trying to find the answer that would make me quit... if it exists.
Pot smokers and non-pot smokers can seem like people from two different planets. An effort must be made to understand why he is doing it and it must be made clear to him why you feel the way you do. But when speaking with people from two different planets, things we normally assume as "reality" are thrown out the window. Mentally live in his shoes and understand what he's "all about". Yah he probably just seems like a lazy slob, and maybe he is. But would taking his drugs away make him Mr. House Chores?
Personally I am one of those people who see nothing better to do in this miserable world than to smoke marijuana. :) :) :) I hate myself for it (oh no, is that the reason!!!) and I try to stop, but I don't really want to.
If I wasn't smoking marijuana I would probably be on some perscription drug like Prozac or worse, cuz I'm crazy, man!
As you can see I have plenty of issues, but I feel good when I'm high. I don't feel all that crazy. It's hard to fight that logic sometimes.
So I'm hoping to find help for myself here while maybe helping other people (rofl). But really I am trying to find the answer that would make me quit... if it exists.
I certainly understand. I have been in a relationship for 8 years with a man who uses pot everyday. I used for a while as well, but decided that I wanted more out of my life. We have a wonderful relationship until the topic of pot comes up. He says often that it is the onlything he does. He's not out running around on me and I should be happy with that. Perhaps I should. We established rules about when and where he uses hoping to avoid things like smoking while he's driving, or driving his son around while he's stoned. But then I find it in his car. He always has a clever excuse and I've found that I no longer belive anything he says. I realize that this is destroying our relationship, but I really don't know how to fix it. He says it's been this way since I met him(and it has) and it isn't fair of me to ask him to change. I don't even know if I'd believe him if he said he had.
I think a more serious issue is him lying to you about the conditions you had both agreed on for his smoking. When you let him slide, like a DOG, he will continue his behavior. Ask him if he'd want his kids to start smoking pot?
Problem is, there is no easy answer when you get together with someone knowing that he has a marijuana habit/addiction and attempt to change them. That's something that should have been resolved before you ever had kids or got married.
As much as I want to stop, I can't, and don't really want to either (huh?). Your husband might feel the same way and its a sucky feeling. Maybe this is addiction?
Haha, you may not like him very much when he's not stoned.
Problem is, there is no easy answer when you get together with someone knowing that he has a marijuana habit/addiction and attempt to change them. That's something that should have been resolved before you ever had kids or got married.
As much as I want to stop, I can't, and don't really want to either (huh?). Your husband might feel the same way and its a sucky feeling. Maybe this is addiction?
Haha, you may not like him very much when he's not stoned.
I'm so glad I've stumbled across this site. I am a 25 year old female who for the last 10 years i have been smoking insane amounts of weed every single day.
i'm so relieved to find out there are others out there like me that i can't put it into words! I am not stupid, I know all the pycho babble and can reationalize all the why's who's etc but that stuff goes out the window the moment i get home from work.
I would like to say that I have used other drugs but never to excess or even regularly, so i don't know where i stand on the gate way drug issue.I mainly think if you're going to try you're going too and nobody will stop you.
To the person who said it could be worse...thats a valid point of view BUT, i was with a herion addict for 2 years when i was 15.We are no longer in touch but he went through rehab and came out clean. There is no help available to people like me. At the moment i see a substance abuse conunciller but as she mainly deals with alcholics and herion addicts she really doesn't have many tools or techiques she can use with me. Anyone in a similar situ.
Nif x
i'm so relieved to find out there are others out there like me that i can't put it into words! I am not stupid, I know all the pycho babble and can reationalize all the why's who's etc but that stuff goes out the window the moment i get home from work.
I would like to say that I have used other drugs but never to excess or even regularly, so i don't know where i stand on the gate way drug issue.I mainly think if you're going to try you're going too and nobody will stop you.
To the person who said it could be worse...thats a valid point of view BUT, i was with a herion addict for 2 years when i was 15.We are no longer in touch but he went through rehab and came out clean. There is no help available to people like me. At the moment i see a substance abuse conunciller but as she mainly deals with alcholics and herion addicts she really doesn't have many tools or techiques she can use with me. Anyone in a similar situ.
Nif x
P.S. Komet, i think you hit the nail on the head saying it's out of boredom- for me thats 100% right. You say you hate yourself but allude you know that it's the reason rather than the cause in this- this is something i have been realising about myself recently and I think once i realised it, it was easier for me get a handle on the situation. I have suffered from panic attacks for years and never wanted to think about why- duh!!
Saying that though i am more aware of the whys and stuff but still hasn't stopped me!
My counciller has told me i need to grieve and accept loss as in effect i am losing a large part of myself.
Good luck.x
Saying that though i am more aware of the whys and stuff but still hasn't stopped me!
My counciller has told me i need to grieve and accept loss as in effect i am losing a large part of myself.
Good luck.x
