I really like this forum it has turned into a habit for me to come and check regularly even when I was still using. I'm one month and a half clean off pot I used to abuse alot of Ritalin too. For me the most horrible effect of these addictions was that I can not enjoy the good stuff in natural ways like normal people and I know from now on I will have the burden of temptation with me forever. I tried to drink a little wine and it gave me such an awful depression afterwards so I know recovery means staying away from alcohol too like forever. This notion of forever clean seems like a really depressing future or everafter and I'm sure the effects of my addictions have altered my life and my relationships forever. Im kind of down today. I now know that the hardest part is to stay clean. I will be happy if someone shares their tips on staying clean.
I must admit that kicking Ritalin was way harder cause I adored it the bitter taste the focus and energy it gave me was unbelievable I would smoke afterwards and it gave so much pleasure that I would do anything to get them. This madness started four or five years ago and I thought I would become a great poet or writer definitely a fabulous artist. But all I did was ruining healthy relationship only to spend time with people I considered cool because of their addiction and to be honest I didn't become anything. I can't cope with the anger and frustration of thinking about my mistakes. I really need to get help.
I'm really depressed today. I think I'm going to relapse soon. Right now all I can think of is taking a xanax and I know where it's going to lead me. It's like a suicide note. I don't want to go around family and friends and bore them with my misery.
I managed to stay clean thank god. I just overate and has to do more exercise today. I hope I manage to stay like this in times of frustration
It's sad its getting vacant here.
Are you still clean?
There are a so many other highs in life other than drugs... I found a high in having my son and watching him play and laugh when he was young, I found a high in getting married to the love of my life and enjoying the tender moments together, I found a high in talking to my elderly mother about her childhood and how mischievous she was which totally took me by surprise, I found a high in the love that my savior has for me.
I hope that you find your high in life away from drugs and look around at other things... faith, family and real friends.
Go to a meeting and look around where people are right there for you and with you.
HopeMom
There are a so many other highs in life other than drugs... I found a high in having my son and watching him play and laugh when he was young, I found a high in getting married to the love of my life and enjoying the tender moments together, I found a high in talking to my elderly mother about her childhood and how mischievous she was which totally took me by surprise, I found a high in the love that my savior has for me.
I hope that you find your high in life away from drugs and look around at other things... faith, family and real friends.
Go to a meeting and look around where people are right there for you and with you.
HopeMom
Hope mom, thank you so much for the reply. Fortunately yes I'm still clean. If my English sounds a little bit weird its because my first language is farsi. Your reply really made me glad. I had already started to read other recovery forums, it's always helpful when I read other recovery stories. I should definitely find a meeting to attend I have post poned it since I feel awkward socially but I know its a very powerful tool and I'm going to find one soon.
Hello Momo
I'm currently kicking my weed habit so i can't really offer much on the Ritalin end other than taking it one day at a time. All we have is the 1 moment we're living in, and every moment we have clean is a blessing we grant ourselves.
Relapsing is the hardest part, the urges get strong but we can't forget our reason for getting clean- play the tape back in your mind. For me, it's getting high at work, seeing the disappointment on my peers faces, and the shame I felt. Take a second and reflect on yourself, and hopefully you can find the courage and strength to stay clean. Best of luck on staying clean, I believe you can stay clean.
I'm currently kicking my weed habit so i can't really offer much on the Ritalin end other than taking it one day at a time. All we have is the 1 moment we're living in, and every moment we have clean is a blessing we grant ourselves.
Relapsing is the hardest part, the urges get strong but we can't forget our reason for getting clean- play the tape back in your mind. For me, it's getting high at work, seeing the disappointment on my peers faces, and the shame I felt. Take a second and reflect on yourself, and hopefully you can find the courage and strength to stay clean. Best of luck on staying clean, I believe you can stay clean.
Hello Lucy
Thanks for the reply. I wish you all the best for the new year. I hope you are doing well and still on the recovery path. Thanks for reminding me about this
"All we have is the 1 moment we're living in, and every moment we have clean is a blessing we grant ourselves" it gave me hope. I have to admit that although I haven't relapsed yet the temptation gets stronger on bad days.
Thanks for the reply. I wish you all the best for the new year. I hope you are doing well and still on the recovery path. Thanks for reminding me about this
"All we have is the 1 moment we're living in, and every moment we have clean is a blessing we grant ourselves" it gave me hope. I have to admit that although I haven't relapsed yet the temptation gets stronger on bad days.
New addiction : food
I realized that I've really damaged my reward system. I cling to anything addictive. Once it was pills and drugs and alcohol. Now its food. Huge amounts of sweets for no good reason and I hate it. I crave sth like Ritalin. Sth that can reduce my appetite. Anything. I feel really sad
I'm sure I won't relapse but I know the f***ing temptation is there forever hunting me.
I realized that I've really damaged my reward system. I cling to anything addictive. Once it was pills and drugs and alcohol. Now its food. Huge amounts of sweets for no good reason and I hate it. I crave sth like Ritalin. Sth that can reduce my appetite. Anything. I feel really sad
I'm sure I won't relapse but I know the f***ing temptation is there forever hunting me.
Still sober. Craving anything. Not gonna get it. Wish I could control it like some people claim they can control it. But not me. Not in this life.
